Britain to leave EU because of massive, blond-haired child

BRITAIN is to set to quit the European Union because the massive, blond-haired child says so.

The child came out against the EU last night in a newspaper article in which he tried very hard to sound like a grown-up.

But although his argument was largely incoherent, it has not stopped Britain from agreeing wholeheartedly with the chunky, vaguely amusing boy.

Emma Wilkinson, from Stevenage, said: “He’s just so wonderfully British. I don’t actually know what that means and I don’t care. Is he full of shit? How would I know? All I can see is that big, cheeky face.”

Martin Bishop, from Peterborough, added: “I have read the article, but I read it out loud in his voice. It was great fun.

“I don’t want to think about the EU because it’s actually very boring. So I’m really happy to delegate my decision to the massive blond-haired child.

“Is it just a cynical ploy so he can become prime minister? What a horrible thing to say about a little boy.”