Monday, 3rd August 2020

'If you imagine there is a woman beneath me, and I go up and down' explains Johnson

BORIS Johnson has demonstrated his legendary lovemaking technique to Mail readers who could not adore him more. 

The prime minister lay prone and raised himself up and down repeatedly to show the Mail on Sunday exactly how he has managed to father so many children.

He continued: “So if you imagine the lady is lying here, on the historic Downing Street carpet, and I’ve pulled down my trousers to just below the buttock.

“She will lie still or move about a bit or do whatever she wants, that doesn’t concern me, and I will simply repeat this motion until I’m finished.

“That can take as many as 50 times, if it’s my second or third mistress of the day, or it can be efficiently over and done in just a few pushes and I can move onto the next thing.

“The key is to keep in regular practice. No slacking off. If you’ve not done your thrusts for that day, then find a woman, take the time and get them done.”

Johnson then challenged Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer to a ‘six-bird shag-off’, adding that he doubted he was man enough to accept.