I’m your prime minister now

ARLENE Foster has informed the UK that she is the prime minister now and she has a few changes in mind. 

The DUP leader cancelled Britain’s Brexit deal yesterday and promised that is really just the start. 

She said: “I don’t like what you’ve done with this country. There aren’t enough Union Jacks up. None of you are British enough. That’s changing. 

“Why aren’t you farmers? Farming’s an honest profession. No time for idle hands. Closer to God. Let’s have you all farmers now.

“There’s no deal with the EU because Ireland’s in the EU and we’re not making a deal with them. You can’t trust them. They’re bastards. You don’t know them like I do. 

“Which areas are your Catholics in? What do you mean they’re not all in one area? That’s ridiculous. You want to get to be rounding them up. Chop chop.” 

Theresa May said: “It’s possible I may have made a bad deal without thinking it through.”