Legal advice reveals Brexit is an incredibly confusing load of bollocks

THE government’s legal advice on the Brexit withdrawal agreement has confirmed that it is all bollocks.

The publication of the advice has left everyone annoyed and yet feeling like they are still in the right, which they would have done anyway.

Brexiter Norman Steele said: “This is a load of bollocks.”

Remainer, Emma Bradford said: “This is a load of bollocks.”

Constitutional expert, Mary Fisher, added: “They’re both correct. This is a load of fucking bollocks. Massive bollocks at that.

“In summary, we don’t really know and we’re pretty much past caring to be honest. Now we’re all off for a proper afternoon session.

“Sort it out among yourselves.”

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Ryanair to compensate passengers by never letting them fly Ryanair again

RYANAIR has agreed to compensate passengers whose flights were cancelled by banning them from flying Ryanair ever again.

Passengers owed hundreds of pounds have enthusiastically embraced the deal which they have called ‘more than we could ever have hoped for’.

Sue Traherne, from Bolton, said: “Just to know that when you browse flights that you won’t give in and pick the cheapest option because you’re actually banned gives me such peace of mind.

“They’ve circulated our names, our passport numbers and our photographs so there is absolutely no way they can go back on this. It doesn’t feel real saying this, but we’ve flown Ryanair for the last time.

“Yes we’ve lost £600, but from now on we’ll know that when we book a flight we’ll be able to board it and fly to our destination. That’s all we ever wanted.”

A Ryanair spokesman said: “There is of course a charge for not flying Ryanair. £18.99 per person.”

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