Politics Headlines

Anything that touches Theresa May's new Brexit plan will die, doctors warn

DOCTORS have confirmed that the prime minister’s new Brexit plan is so extravagantly toxic that any living thing that touches it will die.

Gunge Tank on Noel's House Party was also liberal intolerance, Farage confirms

NIGEL Farage has confirmed that the Gunge Tank on Noel’s House Party was also an example of radical Remainers exercising liberal intolerance.

Six things to have in your kitchen if you want to be Tory leader

HAVE you arranged a cosy kitchen photoshoot to prove that you’re an ordinary, decent person who would do a great job running the country? Here’s what to pose with.

Which historical monsters could have been stopped with a milkshake?

THROUGHOUT history, evil men have led nations into war, slaughtered their own people and doomed generations to slavery. But could today’s advanced thick shake technology have stopped them?

Slush Puppies volunteer to be thrown at twats

BRAVE Slush Puppies are volunteering to be tossed at right-wing arseholes.

Corbyn ruins old folks' coach trip to Whitby

LABOUR leader Jeremy Corbyn ruined a day out to Whitby for all the other pensioners by being an awkward sod, it has emerged.

Camera crew in Brexit heartland puts up 'Nutters Only' sign

A NEWS team visiting the Brexit heartland of Stoke-on-Trent is sick of interviewing people with reasonable, well-thought-out views.

How to rescue an older relative from the Brexit Party cult

HAVE your parents or grandparents become brainwashed followers of Nigel Farage? Cult deprogrammer Norman Steele explains how to stage an intervention.

Nobody honestly thinks Theresa May will ever go

POLITICIANS, the media and the UK public have admitted they cannot truthfully ever imagine Theresa May not being prime minister.

Poor Tory councillors who have done nothing wrong to be unfairly punished by voters

INNOCENT Conservative councillors are set to be cruelly punished by electors meanly linking them with the actions of the Conservative government.

'Project Fear' vindicated as Brexit leads to return of Ann Widdecombe

FRESH concerns have been raised over Brexit after it caused the return of Ann Widdecombe.

Working class man reckons someone called 'Annunziata Rees-Mogg' is on his side

A WORKING class man actually believes that someone called Annunziata Rees-Mogg relates to him and has his best interests at heart.