BREXIT Minister David Davis has resigned to work on some exciting solo material inspired by leaving the EU.
BRITAIN is now officially a banana republic with constant sunshine, collapsing government and a good football team.
AFTER dodging the Heathrow vote by visiting Afghanistan, Boris Johnson has arranged to be temporarily kidnapped by extra-terrestrials when the Brexit deal is confirmed.
FORMER Tory leader William Hague believes that the UK can get through Brexit fine as long as it remains 'high as shit' throughout.
THE Brexit bill coming to the Commons this afternoon will definitely end up being a terrible betrayal of someone, MPs have agreed.
THE government is to impose minimum 10-year sentences on anyone attempting to blame police cuts for rising crime, it has announced.
HEATHROW’S controversial third runway is vital for the forthcoming exodus from this arsed-up country, government officials have confirmed.
THE prime minister has responded to the northern rail crisis by ordering locals off trains and back on narrowboats where they belong.
ONLY 17 immense Brexit problems have emerged in the last 24 hours, an upbeat Theresa May has confirmed.
THE House of Lords has shocked Britain by being full of senile old bastards who are not backing Brexit.
BORIS Johnson has decided he may as well just tell the prime minister to piss off.
THERE is apparently a ‘House of Lords’ which should be abolished immediately, a Brexiter has discovered.