Politics Headlines
Man who's wanked on about Brexit for three years not voting if it's cold
A MAN who has spent three years ranting about Brexit is not planning to vote on December 12th if it is cold that day.
Five unlikely things Labour is to blame for
THE Tories have used the ‘Trump playbook’ to put the blame for last week’s terror attack on Labour. What else can they implausibly pin on them?
How Jacob Rees-Mogg can make a comeback
BEING so evil that even Boris Johnson’s Conservatives deny you exist is not easy, but Jacob Rees-Mogg has managed it. How can he stage a comeback?
Corbyn not saying sorry until the Jews say sorry
CORBYN has refused to apologise for being anti-Semitic until the Jews apologise for calling him anti-Semitic.
Johnson is to Corbyn as the Joker is to Batman, Labour admits
THE Labour party has admitted that Boris Johnson does to Jeremy Corbyn exactly what the Joker does to Batman.
The mental things you never thought this election would be about
PREVIOUS general elections were at least halfway sane. This one is off-the-rails mental. Here are the issues that have made it that way.
Election could be decided by 30,000 d*ckheads
THE election could be decided by no more than 30,000 total ars*holes, pollsters believe.
A six-point guide to the Labour Manifesto
CRITICS call it 'the longest passive-aggressive note to housemates in history', but what is actually in Labour's Little Red Book?
The Daily Mail guide to Corbyn's Communist Britain
IF Jeremy Corbyn wins the election, which he won’t but we have to pretend he might so everyone votes Tory, the UK will be fully communist by the weekend.
Jennifer Arcuri's top six secrets of Boris Johnson
AMERICAN businesswoman and 70s-sitcom blonde Jennifer Arcuri has kept Boris Johnson’s secrets – until now. Find out what the PM is hiding:
Worried mum finds Tory manifesto stashed under son's mattress
A MOTHER has been left concerned after finding a copy of the Conservative manifesto hidden under her son's mattress.
How to be a deeply unlikeable Remainer
BREXITERS are frequently criticised for being shouty and unreasonable, but – fair’s fair – Remainers can be obnoxious too. Here’s how.