DOCTORS have confirmed that the prime minister’s new Brexit plan is so extravagantly toxic that any living thing that touches it will die.
NIGEL Farage has confirmed that the Gunge Tank on Noel’s House Party was also an example of radical Remainers exercising liberal intolerance.
HAVE you arranged a cosy kitchen photoshoot to prove that you’re an ordinary, decent person who would do a great job running the country? Here’s what to pose with.
THROUGHOUT history, evil men have led nations into war, slaughtered their own people and doomed generations to slavery. But could today’s advanced thick shake technology have stopped them?
BRAVE Slush Puppies are volunteering to be tossed at right-wing arseholes.
LABOUR leader Jeremy Corbyn ruined a day out to Whitby for all the other pensioners by being an awkward sod, it has emerged.
A NEWS team visiting the Brexit heartland of Stoke-on-Trent is sick of interviewing people with reasonable, well-thought-out views.
HAVE your parents or grandparents become brainwashed followers of Nigel Farage? Cult deprogrammer Norman Steele explains how to stage an intervention.
POLITICIANS, the media and the UK public have admitted they cannot truthfully ever imagine Theresa May not being prime minister.
INNOCENT Conservative councillors are set to be cruelly punished by electors meanly linking them with the actions of the Conservative government.
FRESH concerns have been raised over Brexit after it caused the return of Ann Widdecombe.
A WORKING class man actually believes that someone called Annunziata Rees-Mogg relates to him and has his best interests at heart.