Politics Headlines
How to disguise dangerous incompetence as comical bumbling
ARE you a f*ck-up to your very core, like certain figures in the national spotlight presently, but keen to mask it as hapless buffoonery?
Corbyn secretly in love with Rory Stewart
JEREMY Corbyn has admitted to a huge 'man-crush' on Conservative leadership candidate Rory Stewart.
Man who can't stop talking boll*cks clearly ideal for Brexit negotiations
BORIS Johnson’s incessant flow of bullsh*t is perfect for Brexit negotiations, it has been claimed.
No-deal Brexit is the policy of a f*cking idiot and I am that idiot, says Boris
BORIS Johnson has launched his leadership campaign by confirming that only a f*cking halfwit would support no-deal Brexit and he is that man.
Ten Tory candidates sent to country house to start murdering each other
THE ten candidates to become prime minister have been sent to a country house to be picked off one by one by whichever of them is secretly the killer.
Tax cuts but - get this - for the rich, says Boris
BORIS Johnson has blindsided rivals for the Tory leadership by proposing tax cuts but – let this sink in – for the already wealthy.
Gove somehow maintaining unnaturally high level of confidence
MICHAEL Gove remains manically convinced nothing can stop him becoming Tory leader though nobody knows where he is getting his confidence from.
'Nobody’s in charge, do what you f**king like'
Yesterday, I handed in my notice as Conservative leader. Now, nobody is in charge and you can do whatever you fucking want.
Trump praises Johnson, Farage, Lord Haw-Haw and Jack the Ripper
PRESIDENT Trump has told media that Boris Johnson, Nigel Farage, Lord Haw-Haw and Jack the Ripper are all great guys who he could do a great deal with.
Donald Trump's guide to being the perfect guest
WHEN you’re the world’s most important leader, with the highest poll numbers, everyone wants you to visit their country. I have a very good relationship with the Queen of England.
Boris is such a liar, says Gove
MICHAEL Gove has confirmed that Boris Johnson is the most appalling liar.
Tommy Robinson's guide to coping with rejection
LIKE a lot of renowned hard men, I have a sensitive side. And when I’m hurt, for example when I only win 2.2 per cent of the vote and lose five fucking grand, I have to know how to move on.