Politics Headlines
I wouldn't change one thing about the past year, says Theresa May
THERESA May told colleagues she has had a wonderful 2017 and there is not one single thing she would do differently.
The Mash guide to Christmas with your favourite politicians
HAVE you ever wished you could spend Christmas with Diane Abbott, Iain Duncan Smith or better yet both?
May's last remaining ally is an imaginary rat called Bixby
THERESA May’s last remaining ally in cabinet is an imaginary rat called Bixby that wears a hat, she has confirmed.
Labour confirms Brexit strategy as pandering to shouty Northern bastards
LABOUR’S Brexit strategy mainly consists of not upsetting angry Northern men like the ones on Question Time, senior MPs have revealed.
'I'm still in control', says most ironic prime minister ever
THERESA May is head-and-shoulders ahead of rivals in the competition to be Britain’s most ironic prime minister ever, historians believe.
EU comforts May by reminding her it doesn’t give a shit
BRUSSELS officials have comforted Theresa May by reminding her they care no more about her stupid Commons defeat than they did about her idiot election.
Trump visit could actually be the thing that stops us all hating each other, agrees Britain
BRITONS have agreed that a visit from American's evil president next year could actually be the thing that reunites their divided nation.
May confirms 'sense of optimism' actually means 'never-ending sea of piss'
THERESA May has confirmed the Brexit negotiations continue to be a ‘gigantic sea of piss’.
Britain advances to phase two of being absolutely shafted
THE UK has achieved a significant breakthrough in the process of being done hard by the EU, and can now move to being properly shafted.
Remainers absolutely loving Brexit now
REMAINERS have confessed that they are thoroughly enjoying the humiliating collapse of Brexit and cannot wait to see what happens next.
'What is 'Brexit'?' asks David Davis
BREXIT secretary David Davis has denied ever having heard the word ‘Brexit’ before and has asked somebody to explain it to him.
Impact assessments wouldn't have helped the dinosaurs, says David Davis
DAVID Davis has told MPs that dinosaurs did not demand an impact assessment for the meteor that wiped them out.