Politics Headlines

UKIP leader to focus on slightly less racist swimwear models who are into older men

THE leader of UKIP has pledged that his next 25-year-old girlfriend will not be as obviously racist.

‘He didn’t call us a shithole!’ declares triumphant Theresa May

THE prime minister is celebrating after Donald Trump did not include Britain in his list of ‘shithole’ countries.

Farage backs him being on TV every single f**king day again

NIGEL Farage has backed a second Brexit referendum or anything else that will make him relevant again.

Bankers are the only people we give a shit about, Davis tells EU

DAVID Davis has told the EU that he does not really give a shit about any British business except financial services.

'This is discrimination against twats', says Toby Young

TOBY Young has condemned a campaign against him as being a form of prejudice against twats.

No f**king way, says UK after Jeremy Hunt promoted

BRITONS are convinced there has been a terrible mistake after health minister Jeremy Hunt was promoted in the cabinet reshuffle.  

May exercises power with sweeping changes to cabinet's lunchtime seating plan

THERESA May has flexed her political muscle by imposing a radical new lunchtime seating plan on her Cabinet.

I wouldn't change one thing about the past year, says Theresa May

THERESA May told colleagues she has had a wonderful 2017 and there is not one single thing she would do differently.

The Mash guide to Christmas with your favourite politicians

HAVE you ever wished you could spend Christmas with Diane Abbott, Iain Duncan Smith or better yet both?

May's last remaining ally is an imaginary rat called Bixby

THERESA May’s last remaining ally in cabinet is an imaginary rat called Bixby that wears a hat, she has confirmed.  

Labour confirms Brexit strategy as pandering to shouty Northern bastards

LABOUR’S Brexit strategy mainly consists of not upsetting angry Northern men like the ones on Question Time, senior MPs have revealed.

'I'm still in control', says most ironic prime minister ever

THERESA May is head-and-shoulders ahead of rivals in the competition to be Britain’s most ironic prime minister ever, historians believe.