Politics Headlines

Britons wondering how you go about starting a coup

THE UK is wondering just how one would forcibly remove an unpopular leader with no democratic mandate hell-bent on ruining the country.

Brexiter strangely quiet about voting for obvious twats

A BREXITER does not want to discuss the fact that he voted for twats like Boris and Gove.

British Cabinet grips fans by killing off a character every week

NEW streaming series The British Cabinet is picking up millions of fans who enjoy television that is not afraid to kill characters off.

I wish it was you firing me, May tells Patel

THE prime minister has fired secretary of state Priti Patel while telling her she wishes with all her heart it was the other way around. 

Michael Fallon: It was such a different era a month ago

It is to be remembered that all these incidents took place in a very different time, in the very different culture of October 2017.

Try to work as more of a team, rabid dogs advise Tories

A PACK of slavering, rabid dogs has advised the Conservative party to bury their differences and work together.

'Sleaze spreadsheet' is political dynamite, says man who doesn’t recognise single name on it

THE leaked Tory ‘sleaze spreadsheet’ is political dynamite that will bring down the government, according to a man who has not heard of any of them.

May to choose new star from Conservatives’ array of outstanding talent

THE prime minister faces the enviable job of choosing a new rising star to be defence minister from the Tories’ stellar array of talent.

I'm too dirty to be a minister but just dirty enough to be an MP, says Fallon

SIR Michael Fallon has confirmed that his sexual transgressions make him unfit to be defence minister but, luckily, still fine to be a Tory MP.

Parliament to tackle sexual harassment with pay rise for MPs

THE best way to stamp out sexual harassment in parliament is to pay MPs more if they promise not to do it, it has been claimed.

Government bidding to be most f**ked-up ever

TORIES are throwing everything behind an attempt to enter the record books as the most f**ked-up British government of all time. 

We teach that Brexit is almost as good as communism, say universities

UNIVERSITIES have confirmed they teach that Brexit is incredibly brilliant but not quite up there with communism.