Politics Headlines

Now do Corbyn, says Britain

THE British public has welcomed the long overdue resignation of Theresa May and asked Jeremy Corbyn to hand his in next.

Britain demands oaf

BORIS Johnson will become Prime Minister because he seems funny, it has been claimed.

Tory MPs begin search for vaguely competent bastard

CONSERVATIVE MPs are hoping to replace Theresa May with someone who is just as cynical and nasty but not really bad at absolutely everything.  

Anything that touches Theresa May's new Brexit plan will die, doctors warn

DOCTORS have confirmed that the prime minister’s new Brexit plan is so extravagantly toxic that any living thing that touches it will die.

Gunge Tank on Noel's House Party was also liberal intolerance, Farage confirms

NIGEL Farage has confirmed that the Gunge Tank on Noel’s House Party was also an example of radical Remainers exercising liberal intolerance.

Six things to have in your kitchen if you want to be Tory leader

HAVE you arranged a cosy kitchen photoshoot to prove that you’re an ordinary, decent person who would do a great job running the country? Here’s what to pose with.

Which historical monsters could have been stopped with a milkshake?

THROUGHOUT history, evil men have led nations into war, slaughtered their own people and doomed generations to slavery. But could today’s advanced thick shake technology have stopped them?

Slush Puppies volunteer to be thrown at twats

BRAVE Slush Puppies are volunteering to be tossed at right-wing arseholes.

Corbyn ruins old folks' coach trip to Whitby

LABOUR leader Jeremy Corbyn ruined a day out to Whitby for all the other pensioners by being an awkward sod, it has emerged.

Camera crew in Brexit heartland puts up 'Nutters Only' sign

A NEWS team visiting the Brexit heartland of Stoke-on-Trent is sick of interviewing people with reasonable, well-thought-out views.

How to rescue an older relative from the Brexit Party cult

HAVE your parents or grandparents become brainwashed followers of Nigel Farage? Cult deprogrammer Norman Steele explains how to stage an intervention.

Nobody honestly thinks Theresa May will ever go

POLITICIANS, the media and the UK public have admitted they cannot truthfully ever imagine Theresa May not being prime minister.