Politics Headlines

Opportunity, the future, families: Keir Starmer's maddeningly vague political vision

No ifs, no buts. If we are to move ahead together into a brighter tomorrow we must commit to an incredibly vague set of statements no human being could really disagree with. 

How to get university students on your side, by Gavin Williamson

I’M confident I can stamp out ‘cancel culture’ on campuses because, as education secretary, I have a deep understanding of young people. Here’s how I intend to win them over.

How to get a decent nap during a pandemic, by Boris Johnson

I THINK it's pretty ruddy important to get some shut-eye during the working day. It's tricky with Covid going on, but here's how I manage it. Maybe you can too.

'Global Britain' means places where they speak English, Tories confirm

TORY Brexiters have clarified what they meant by ‘global Britain’ a mere five years after they came up with the phrase to help win the referendum.

How to bolt the stable door a year after the horse has f**ked off, by Boris Johnson

A YEAR after declaring Covid ‘a serious and imminent threat to public health’, the UK is closing borders to certain countries, a bit.

Five things that should ruin the Tories but never do

TORIES ahead in the polls again, despite everything, just like in the 80s, most of the 90s and the last decade? It’s because they shrug all this off.

Where do you rate on the Keir Starmer patriotism scale?

I’M Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer and I’m now a proud patriot. But how patriotic are you? Check whether you like the following things and find out if your patriotism is lacking.

How to govern the UK using plots from movies, by Matt Hancock

THIS week I explained that I based the nation's Covid response on the movie Contagion. Which is fine and not worrying at all. Here are some other movies I’d like to turn into policy.

The unrepentant Corbynite's guide to why this is all Keir Starmer's fault

HATE Labour far more than the government since that slick lawyer took over? Die-hard Corbynite Wayne Hayes explains how the whole pandemic is on ‘Sir’ Keir.

Furious public can't believe they'll vote for Johnson again in a few years

BRITONS are so outraged by Boris Johnson's poor performance they cannot believe they are going to vote for him again in 2024.

Six ways Boris Johnson will f**k up his friendship mission to Scotland

THE prime minister is visiting Scotland today, which inevitably means he will insult and alienate an entire nation. Here’s what to expect. 

Make £££s fast by becoming a Tory party donor

LOOKING for new opportunities? Want to make cash fast, no questions asked? Simply become a Conservative party donor and fill your boots. Julian Cook explains how.