Politics Headlines

Irish border will be free of Popes, May assures DUP

POPE Francis of Rome will have no role in checking vehicles entering and leaving Northern Ireland, Theresa May has assured the DUP.

I don't know who did you this deal but it's shit, says May

THE prime minister has advised Britain that whoever got them this Brexit deal ‘must have been a right cowboy’ and promised to get a better one.

Second referendum to ask 'Do you want everything to be brilliant?'

A SECOND referendum will ask voters if they want everything to be brilliant from now on or if they are against that.

May asks for same changes to same plan so same MPs can vote same way

THERESA May has confirmed that she will take the same plan back to Brussels to ask for the same changes before the same MPs vote on it the same way. 

Strong and stable government to continue

THE UK has once again thanked the DUP for ensuring Britain has a strong and stable government.

Karma, agrees Britain

BRITAIN has agreed that Theresa May's humiliating defeat is undeniable evidence of karma.

All options ruled out

THE UK’s political leaders have ruled out the Brexit deal, a no-deal Brexit, a second referendum, a general election, remaining in the EU and continuing the current situation.

Man keeps peeking out window to see if riots have started yet

A 52-YEAR-OLD man his peeking out the window every 1o minutes to see if the riots have begun on his road.