Politics Headlines

How David Cameron sleeps at night

FORMER prime minister David Cameron sleeps in a crypt which contains no reflective surfaces or timepieces.

Fear of clowns no longer irrational

COULROPHOBIA, or the fear of clowns, has been reclassified from an anxiety disorder to a perfectly reasonable response to modern life.

'You lied to me, you fat f**k,' says Queen

THE Queen has been heard to murmur ‘You lied to me, you f**king fat f**k’ while watching the news.

Corbyn so reasonable supporter worried he's been drugged

JEREMY Corbyn is taking political positions so rational that a worried supporter is afraid he is being drugged and controlled.

Bercow 'partisan', claim people who class Goering as a leftie

RABID right-wingers for whom Goering was the bleeding-heart weak link in the Nazi party have claimed John Bercow is politically biased.

MP outraged at suspension of Parliament but on the other hand, six weeks off

AN MP has admitted half of him is furious at the politically motivated proroguing of Parliament while the other half is punching the air shouting ‘Whoo’.

The Tory backbenchers' top six wheezes for 'getting round' the no-deal law

A LAW blocking no-deal Brexit, to be passed today, is legally watertight. But not according to the massive brains of Tory backbenchers. Here’s how they’ll beat it:

What is Boris Johnson's next move?

THE prime minister has been placed in parliamentary checkmate by his opponents. What can he do to break out?

What's happened in Parliament this week, told via Street Fighter II

WHAT exactly has happened in Parliament this week? And would it be easier to understand if told via the medium of Street Fighter II?

I told I'd get you back for having the big bedroom

Dear Boris, or should I say, The Bedwetter.

I am not Marty McFly so you may call me chicken as much as you like, explains Corbyn

JEREMY Corbyn has explained to Conservatives that he is not the film character ‘Marty McFly’ and suffers no instinctive reaction to being called ‘chicken’.

Snap election to let Britain vote for lesser of two evils yet a-f**king-gain

AN upcoming general election will let the UK vote for parties they despise less than they despise other parties for the fourth time this decade.