Politics Headlines

Government powerless to intervene in non-banking industries

THE government has confirmed there is absolutely nothing it can do to save non-London-based industries.

UKIP leader to focus on slightly less racist swimwear models who are into older men

THE leader of UKIP has pledged that his next 25-year-old girlfriend will not be as obviously racist.

‘He didn’t call us a shithole!’ declares triumphant Theresa May

THE prime minister is celebrating after Donald Trump did not include Britain in his list of ‘shithole’ countries.

Farage backs him being on TV every single f**king day again

NIGEL Farage has backed a second Brexit referendum or anything else that will make him relevant again.

Bankers are the only people we give a shit about, Davis tells EU

DAVID Davis has told the EU that he does not really give a shit about any British business except financial services.

'This is discrimination against twats', says Toby Young

TOBY Young has condemned a campaign against him as being a form of prejudice against twats.

No f**king way, says UK after Jeremy Hunt promoted

BRITONS are convinced there has been a terrible mistake after health minister Jeremy Hunt was promoted in the cabinet reshuffle.  

May exercises power with sweeping changes to cabinet's lunchtime seating plan

THERESA May has flexed her political muscle by imposing a radical new lunchtime seating plan on her Cabinet.