THE government has admitted it is addicted to parliamentary defeats and is already jonesing for another one.
THE Speaker of the House has clarified that he only smirked when cancelling a third Brexit vote yesterday because it was so incredibly funny.
HUNGRY, exhausted Brexit marchers have demanded an emergency airdrop of food, shoes and clothing from the EU if they are to continue.
BREXIT voters have asked what a ‘tariff' is after discovering the term this morning.
THE Queen has responded to Brexiter calls to dissolve parliament by clarifying she is going nowhere near that shitstorm.
THERESA May has calculated that if her deal keeps gaining support at the current rate it only needs another six votes to pass unanimously.
Hello there, I am Arlene Foster, leader of the DUP and your new prime minister, and I have a few changes in mind.
THE European Union has agreed not to look while the UK spends the next week soiling itself.
EVERY single one of the UK’s 17.4 million Leave voters is to get a tax-free lump sum of £1,000 to spend on chips.
EVERYONE has agreed to quietly sweep the referendum result under the carpet, it has been confirmed.
A LEAVE supporter cannot remember if he is actually against Britain’s EU membership or if he just says he is to wind up Remainers.
TOMMY Robinson has confirmed that, while he has been banned from Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, he continues to be available in his shed.