THEY’VE told me not to get involved in this election. So I won’t. I like Boris a lot and everyone should vote for him. Here’s my plan he’ll follow.
A MAN who has spent three years ranting about Brexit is not planning to vote on December 12th if it is cold that day.
THE Tories have used the ‘Trump playbook’ to put the blame for last week’s terror attack on Labour. What else can they implausibly pin on them?
BEING so evil that even Boris Johnson’s Conservatives deny you exist is not easy, but Jacob Rees-Mogg has managed it. How can he stage a comeback?
CORBYN has refused to apologise for being anti-Semitic until the Jews apologise for calling him anti-Semitic.
THE Labour party has admitted that Boris Johnson does to Jeremy Corbyn exactly what the Joker does to Batman.
PREVIOUS general elections were at least halfway sane. This one is off-the-rails mental. Here are the issues that have made it that way.
THE election could be decided by no more than 30,000 total ars*holes, pollsters believe.
CRITICS call it 'the longest passive-aggressive note to housemates in history', but what is actually in Labour's Little Red Book?
IF Jeremy Corbyn wins the election, which he won’t but we have to pretend he might so everyone votes Tory, the UK will be fully communist by the weekend.
AMERICAN businesswoman and 70s-sitcom blonde Jennifer Arcuri has kept Boris Johnson’s secrets – until now. Find out what the PM is hiding:
A MOTHER has been left concerned after finding a copy of the Conservative manifesto hidden under her son's mattress.