JACOB Rees-Mogg has shocked critics by reversing his long-held position that the Thirteen Colonies of the US must be retaken by Britain.
EVERY last living person in Britain has promised to do everything Theresa May asks of them the moment that she resigns.
A GANG of elderly rich white men are just about ready to step in and sort out this mess that was definitely not the fault of any elderly rich white men.
THE prime minister has contacted Parliament with an innovative and fresh idea of how to take Brexit forward that she would just love them to consider.
SENIOR Conservatives have regretfully realised a referendum on capital punishment would probably have served the same purpose as Brexit.
A NO-DEAL Brexit will be a doddle because a Tory MP with a balloon for a head has served in the Territorial Army, it has been confirmed.
Brexit Mount Rushmore to feature carved heads of Jim Davidson, Nigel Farage, Elizabeth Hurley and Ian Botham
A PLANNED Brexit Mount Rushmore to be carved into the white cliffs of Dover will feature Nigel Farage, Elizabeth Hurley, Jim Davidson and Ian Botham.
THERESA May has been stockpiling toilet roll during her latest trip to Brussels.
THERE are nine – nine! – fucking days left until economic armageddon and still the same shit is going on, Britain has realised.
THE government has admitted it is addicted to parliamentary defeats and is already jonesing for another one.
THE Speaker of the House has clarified that he only smirked when cancelling a third Brexit vote yesterday because it was so incredibly funny.
HUNGRY, exhausted Brexit marchers have demanded an emergency airdrop of food, shoes and clothing from the EU if they are to continue.