Politics Headlines

What is Boris Johnson's next move?

THE prime minister has been placed in parliamentary checkmate by his opponents. What can he do to break out?

What's happened in Parliament this week, told via Street Fighter II

WHAT exactly has happened in Parliament this week? And would it be easier to understand if told via the medium of Street Fighter II?

I told I'd get you back for having the big bedroom

Dear Boris, or should I say, The Bedwetter.

I am not Marty McFly so you may call me chicken as much as you like, explains Corbyn

JEREMY Corbyn has explained to Conservatives that he is not the film character ‘Marty McFly’ and suffers no instinctive reaction to being called ‘chicken’.

Snap election to let Britain vote for lesser of two evils yet a-f**king-gain

AN upcoming general election will let the UK vote for parties they despise less than they despise other parties for the fourth time this decade.

Johnson to regain majority by challenging Commons to British Bulldog

BORIS Johnson is to restore his majority by challenging the Commons to British Bulldog then stopping the game when everyone has crossed the floor.

The opium kicked in, Rees-Mogg admits

JACOB Rees-Mogg has admitted that he only lay down on a Commons front bench because the opium had seriously hit.

How today's no-deal debate will work

IN THE most important 24 hours for British parliamentary democracy since last time, MPs will today attempt to prevent a no-deal Brexit. Here’s how it will work.

Johnson gets Downing Street podium out to announce he has a puppy

THE prime minister has made a statement to the nation that he has a lovely new puppy that he enjoys petting.

Gove: we will ignore laws against no-deal Brexit and cocaine use

MICHAEL Gove has confirmed the government will ignore any law passed against a no-deal Brexit and existing laws prohibiting cocaine. 

What isn't prorogation?

PROROGATION, the word on every Briton’s lips this week, definitely means the dissolution of Parliament before a Queen’s speech.

Any party promising more public lavatories 'would win election in landslide'

ANY political party promising free, clean toilets in city centres would win 88 per cent of the vote, research has found.