Politics Headlines

Try to work as more of a team, rabid dogs advise Tories

A PACK of slavering, rabid dogs has advised the Conservative party to bury their differences and work together.

'Sleaze spreadsheet' is political dynamite, says man who doesn’t recognise single name on it

THE leaked Tory ‘sleaze spreadsheet’ is political dynamite that will bring down the government, according to a man who has not heard of any of them.

May to choose new star from Conservatives’ array of outstanding talent

THE prime minister faces the enviable job of choosing a new rising star to be defence minister from the Tories’ stellar array of talent.

I'm too dirty to be a minister but just dirty enough to be an MP, says Fallon

SIR Michael Fallon has confirmed that his sexual transgressions make him unfit to be defence minister but, luckily, still fine to be a Tory MP.

Parliament to tackle sexual harassment with pay rise for MPs

THE best way to stamp out sexual harassment in parliament is to pay MPs more if they promise not to do it, it has been claimed.

Government bidding to be most f**ked-up ever

TORIES are throwing everything behind an attempt to enter the record books as the most f**ked-up British government of all time. 

We teach that Brexit is almost as good as communism, say universities

UNIVERSITIES have confirmed they teach that Brexit is incredibly brilliant but not quite up there with communism. 

Tories to change Universal Credit but only for evil bastard reasons

UNIVERSAL Credit is to be reformed but out of self-interest not human decency, Tories have revealed.