Politics Headlines

Johnson and Rees-Mogg still not helping to pick all the fruit

BREXITERS Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg are still not helping to pick fruit despite being directly responsible for a chronic shortfall in seasonal farm workers.

Guilt-ridden Brexit bus in self-destructive shame spiral

THE bus used to claim that Brexit would save £350 million a week is caught in a 'self-destructive spiral of shame'.

University fresher still believes in Corbyn's Brexit 'long game'

A UNIVERSITY fresher is ready for Jeremy Corbyn to unleash his secret Brexit masterplan, it has emerged.

Dominic Raab stockpiling food for himself

THE Brexit secretary has confirmed that he is stockpiling food and nobody else is having any of it. 

Second referendum to include 'Are you an idiot?'

ANOTHER vote on leaving the EU should include questions designed to weed out total idiots, it has been claimed.

Danny Dyer appointed Minister for Not Getting Mugged Right off like a Right Little Mug

DANNY Dyer has been appointed Minister for Not Getting Mugged Right off like a Right Little Mug, it has been confirmed.

Johnson and Davis to spend next three months backpacking around South East Asia

BORIS Johnson and David Davis have confirmed that they quit the cabinet to go backpacking around South East Asia together.

Leaving a sinking ship can be the right thing to do, by a rat

IT'S great to see so many of our leading Brexiteers prepared to learn from the vermin community.

David Davis quits cabinet to focus on solo material

BREXIT Minister David Davis has resigned to work on some exciting solo material inspired by leaving the EU.

Britain officially a banana republic

BRITAIN is now officially a banana republic with constant sunshine, collapsing government and a good football team.

Boris arranges to be abducted by aliens when Brexit deal goes through

AFTER dodging the Heathrow vote by visiting Afghanistan, Boris Johnson has arranged to be temporarily kidnapped by extra-terrestrials when the Brexit deal is confirmed.

We can get through Brexit if we're high, says Hague

FORMER Tory leader William Hague believes that the UK can get through Brexit fine as long as it remains 'high as shit' throughout.