CITIZENS across the European Union are to be asked a series of intimate sexual questions including when they first discovered the joys of vibration.
CHANCELLOR Alistair Darling has admitted sending millions of bank account details to a Nigerian doctor who contacted him earlier this week.
TORY leader David Cameron has enlisted one of the party's most senior ex-convicts in his bid to become a more effective liar.
CONSERVATIVE leader David Cameron is facing fresh embarrassment after a senior backbencher described himself as 'an enthusiastic and committed racialist'.
PRIME minister Gordon Brown has made a bold move to recapture the political agenda with a series of mind-numbingly tedious initiatives.
PRIME minister Gordon Brown has drawn a red line around the savoury cheese sandwich on his desk and warned the EU to back off.
THE Liberal Democrats will today attempt to regain the political initiative as they begin their search for an exciting young loser to lead them into the next election.
BRITAIN is in an absolutely foul mood and is taking it out on the Prime Minister, according to new research.
MORE than 50% all young Tories have had their policies stolen off them by a pair of gruff Scotsmen, research by the Howard League for Penal Reform suggests.
WEARING purple and brown together, especially with sideburns, is to be outlawed from next April, the government announced last night.
PRIME Minister Gordon Brown hit back at his critics yesterday insisting floods, terrorism, terrorism, foot and mouth, floods.
THE last person to be seen on television making a speech has established an enormous lead in the opinion polls, according to the latest surveys.