News

Working-class people should be proud of their gnomes, says May

THE prime minister has said that working-class people should be proud of the amusing garden gnomes they choose to decorate their homes with. 

Fresher getting ready for night out that will wreck her career in 10 years' time

A UNIVERSITY fresher is currently getting ready for the night out that will destroy her career in 10 years' time.

Isle of Man to be renamed 'Manorca' post-Brexit

THE ISLE of Man is to be renamed Manorca should Brexit go ahead, it has been confirmed.

Saying something incredibly f**king stupid now 'starting a debate'

MAKING an unbelievably stupid statement just to be annoying is ‘starting a much-needed debate’, idiots have asserted.

House of Fraser unveils new business model of not letting you have stuff when you pay for it

HOUSE of Fraser is to cease the 'economically suicidal' practice of giving customers goods when they pay for them, it has confirmed. 

Woman who went to doctor with cold moaning that NHS is overstretched

A WOMAN who went to see her GP because she had a bit of sniffle was outraged that the waiting room was full of people.

Man ejected from easyJet flight for being wrong kind of pissed

A MAN has been ejected from an Easyjet flight for being the wrong kind of pissed, it has been confirmed.

Family eating at table just watching telly from slightly different angle

A FAMILY who decided to dine together at the table for a change now have to crane their necks to watch Emmerdale.