Woman who watches lots of shit TV trying to pass it off as 'research'

A WOMAN whose favourite television programmes include Hollyoaks and Love Island has claimed she only watches trashy shows for ‘research purposes’.

Mum considering ripping ears off to avoid hearing more about f**king Minecraft

A MUM whose son won’t shut the fuck up about Minecraft is considering ripping her own ears off to make it stop.

Who should you blame when you've massively failed at life?

HAVE you totally bollocksed your life up? Don’t worry, there’s loads of stuff you can blame for your mistakes! Read our guide and feel a whole lot better about yourself.

Couple in late 30s weirdly not bothered about parents paying for everything

A COUPLE who are supposedly proper adults do not seem troubled by being given loads of money by their parents, friends have noticed.

Man with neck beard wondering what the hell he was thinking

A MAN is having a major rethink of his neck beard after realising he has no idea why he grew it.

Far-right distancing itself from Morrissey

EXTREME right-wing groups have sought to distance themselves from the increasingly unhinged former lead singer of The Smiths.

'You scrub up nicely' not a compliment, idiots told

‘YOU scrub up nicely’ actually means ‘normally you look pretty shit’, recipients of the compliment feel.

The elderly parents' guide to computers

ARE you quite old and find computers baffling and terrifying? Don’t worry - our guide will tell you everything you need to know.