News

Five ways to avoid swearing in front of your f**king annoying kids

DO you struggle to get through a whole day with your children without dropping the F-bomb on the little shits? Read our guide.

Boyfriend accused of not taking ghost tour seriously

A WOMAN is deeply disappointed in her boyfriend for not treating a ghost tour in London with the seriousness it deserved.

Your guide to Britain's bullshit 'culture war'

ARE you totally confused by the ‘culture war’ people keep talking about? Here we explain this enormous load of bollocks in detail.

Millennials cosplaying as homeowners

A NEW form of cosplay encourages millennials to dress up as homeowners.

'F**k off, the f**king lot of you' man jokingly tells family

A FATHER has light-heartedly told his family that the whole fucking lot of them can fuck off only for it to be taken the wrong way.

Woman gets fancy Easter egg instead of the bucket of Flakes she wanted

A WOMAN has been let down by her boyfriend’s gift of a small, expensive dark chocolate Easter egg instead of a big cheap one that absolutely does the business.

Families gather to sing jolly songs about brutal execution

FAMILIES have joined together to sing jolly little songs about the time a man was brutally nailed to a cross.

Protesting is latest fad for middle class people who want to be different

MIDDLE CLASS people will spend the summer protesting about things to prove they are not typically middle class.

Man only becomes emotionally intelligent when listening to Springsteen

A MAN can only become emotionally intelligent while listening to Bruce Springsteen songs, his partner has discovered.

How to feel young again when you've accidentally enjoyed a trip to the garden centre

HAVE you returned from the garden centre with seven packets of seeds and a warm sense of contentment? Here’s how to nip those weird middle-aged feelings in the bud.

Londoner stunned to find all other Londoners also leaving London for weekend

A WOMAN who decided to get out of of the capital for Easter was stunned to find that every single other London resident had the same idea.

Sourdough bread just normal bread that's been told about mindfulness

POSH sourdough bread is the same as normal bread but the baker has told it about aspirational lifestyle shit like mindfulness, it has been revealed.