We want you to hear us having sex, say foxes

FOXES get off on people hearing them having loud sex, they have admitted.

Man pretty sure he can see muscles after six sit-ups

A MAN is convinced he is developing new muscles an implausibly short time after starting a feeble new fitness regime.

Twitter storm of f**k all interest to any normal person enters sixth day

A ROW about an obscure thing normal people do not care about has been raging in the Twittersphere for almost a week.

Kate Bush forced to deny that 'Hounds of Love' is about the glory of fascist dictatorship

KATE Bush been forced to deny that one of her biggest hits is about the advantages of a one-party, fascist state.

Mum communicating entirely in emojis

A WOMAN who introduced her mother to emojis is beginning to deeply regret it.

Pub jazz band confirms next gig will last forever

A PUB jazz band has confirmed that its next gig will never end.

These thugs we totally agree with are dreadful, say twats

MEMBERS of the public and media have criticised aggressive right-wing protesters they have been encouraging for several years.

Friend has another f**kwitted YouTube video for you

A MAN believes he is giving friends a vital insight into how the world works by sending them YouTube videos clearly made by fringe crackpots.