News

How can you become a massively overpaid twat on TV?

WITH BBC pay in the news again, many of us have asked 'How can I get paid millions for saying inane things to a camera too?'

Vegan cat becoming totally unbearable

AN already arrogant cat has become totally unbearable after going on a vegan diet.

Welsh colleague not enjoying England games for some reason

A WELSH football fan seems unwilling to join in with the English celebrations during the World Cup, leaving co-workers baffled.

I know how you feel Boris, by Mr Blobby

DEAR Boris, I too am a bulbous pink figure with a toothy grin who went from media darling to widely despised irritant.

Would this be a bad time to say your new plan's bollocks? asks EU

THE EU has asked if this is a bad time to mention that May’s Chequers Brexit plan is bollocks that they reject completely. 

Woman getting tattoo confident she'll regret it her whole life

A WOMAN getting a tattoo is absolutely sure she will regard it with thinly-concealed regret until she is old and grey, she has confirmed.

Man cooks meat at barbecue but does sod all else

A MAN is cooking at a barbecue to avoid doing anything other than stand near hot meat drinking beer.

Ninety percent of socialising just people being loud

MOST social events are just people making loud noises at each other, experts have confirmed.