News

Radio One Told To Take Some Time Off

RADIO One has been ordered to take a week off after colleagues expressed concern over her increasingly erratic behaviour.

Castro To Spend More Time Persecuting Gays

CUBA’S ailing leader Fidel Castro is to retire from dictating so he can spend more time playing golf and persecuting gays, his aides confirmed last night.

BBC Unveils Line-Up For Billiepipermas

THE BBC has unveiled the spectacular line-up for what promises to be the best Billiepipermas ever.

Saudi king to pardon female hit and run victims

KING Abdullah of Saudi Arabia was praised by the international community last night after pledging to release more than 20% of his country's female hit and run victims.

De Burgh Concert Sparks Iranian Refugee Crisis

TEHRAN (Agence Mash-Presse): THE narrow, dusty road from Tehran to the Turkish border is normally quiet at this time of year.

Google Aims To Capture Market For Inaccurate Crap

GOOGLE is to create its own internet encyclopaedia in a bid to corner the growing market for online bollocks.

Ulrika Jonsson To Learn Italian

FORMER TV weather girl Ulrika Jonsson is to begin a crash-course in conversational Italian, she announced last night.