Sport
John Terry admits his legs have disappeared
CHELSEA captain John Terry has revealed that his legs have worn away to tiny stubs.
Oscar and Diego Costa still trying to land a punch on each other
DIEGO Costa and Oscar have been involved in a training ground fight lasting over two days.
Screaming women disrupt darts championship
HYSTERICAL female darts fans have caused play at the BDO World Championship to be suspended.
Real Madrid pretending ‘Special One’ banner was made for Zidane
STAFF at Real Madrid are making out that a welcome party clearly intended for Jose Mourinho in fact applies to Zinedine Zidane.
Australian cricket's strong tradition of feminism under threat
AUSTRALIAN cricket is reeling in shock after a player behaved in a sexist way for the first time in its 200-year history.
Remi Garde not going to waste inspirational speech on these losers
ASTON Villa boss Remi Garde is to save his inspiring words for players who deserve them, it has emerged.
Mourinho begins work at small provincial estate agents
JOSE Mourinho has joined an estate agents in Doncaster, pledging to 'dominate' the South Yorkshire property market.
Mourinho only 47 scapegoats away from blaming himself
CHELSEA boss Jose Mourinho is beginning to run out of people to blame for his side’s catastrophic title defence.
Weekly five-a-side game ruined by man who can play football
A FIVE-A-SIDE football match has been marred by the presence of a man who is able to control the ball and shoot.
Tyson Fury ‘a delight’ at dinner party
BOXER Tyson Fury has charmed guests at a dinner party with his sparkling wit and progressive opinions.
Man United cracks down on fans smuggling sudoku into Old Trafford
MANCHESTER United has pledged to stop fans smuggling puzzles, games and books into Old Trafford to keep them occupied during matches.
Liverpool fans braced for months of futile optimism
LIVERPOOL fans are gearing themselves up for six months of ultimately pointless optimism.