ENGLAND batsman Joe Root is making an audacious bid to be recognisable to normal people.
LIVERPOOL star Raheem Sterling has presented the club with documentation of his bank balance to excuse his absence from training.
BRITONS are confessing their cock-ups in a show of solidarity with footballer Laura Bassett.
AXED Leicester City manager Nigel Pearson has blamed a "shadowy ostrich cabal" for his dismissal.
A MAN who knows about tennis from watching it semi-regularly is really making the most of it.
WIMBLEDON fortnight has begun amid sunshine and the imminent collapse of everything.
ENGLISH men are not as good at playing football as English women, it has been confirmed.
ROBERTO Firmino is the man to fire Liverpool to the Premier League title, according to supporters who only learned his name yesterday.
MANCHESTER United is to purchase a luxury hotel themed around former right-back Gary Neville.
THE original script for the new Fifa movie was accidentally destroyed just before FBI investigators arrived at the organisation’s headquarters.
WOMEN cannot play football, a plump and uncoordinated man has claimed.
FOUR in every five banknotes has been used for an illegal payment by FIFA, investigators have confirmed.