HUNGOVER has narrowly beaten Still Pissed From Last Night in a hotly contested Sunday league football game.
ANDY Murray has admitted he is suffering too much to continue being Scottish and is to retire to a cottage in Kent.
THE Football Supporters' Association has complained after a player made eye contact during a chant about his whore mother.
THE scheming, duplicitous Guardian has again hoodwinked an innocent football fan into browsing an article about women’s football.
SACKED Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho is the new Brexit secretary, it has been confirmed.
DARTS players will be drug tested to ensure they are properly pissed.
ENGLAND are through to the semi finals of an irrelevant competition that's not even as old as Prince William's youngest child, but, how much do you know or care about the national side's apparent footballing 'success'?
A GROUP of rugby players are worried about a teammate after seeing him drinking a glass of warm piss on his own.
GOLF fans are insisting that the Ryder Cup is a tense, explosive contest that will have even the golf-averse on the edge of their seats.
A MAN is a devoted fan of American sports and nobody has the slightest idea why.
HOLA, this is the Special One, Jose Mourinho and I'm here to teach you how be a proper miserable sod.
UNITED manager Jose Mourinho increasingly resembles the Scooby-Doo caretaker who has found gold on the premises, players have claimed.