Sport
Frank de Boer no longer able to get six-month tenancy on a flat
NO LANDLORD in Europe is willing to give Frank De Boer a six-month lease on a flat because there is little chance he'll be in employment that long.
Otherwise intelligent man excited about idiotic boxing thing
A MAN who reads book is currently thinking about almost nothing but tomorrow's ludicrous boxing mismatch.
Rooney ends disappointing 119 cap, 53 goal England career
WAYNE Rooney's record-breaking international career was actually pretty shit when it comes down to it, football experts have concluded.
'Sick' athletes must compete unless they have note from mum
ATHLETES claiming to be poorly with a tummy bug must have a note signed by a parent, officials have confirmed.
Thank god the football's back, says man who refused to watch Women's Euros
FINALLY there is football on again, according to a man who avoided the women's European Championships.
Men 'not really equipped to do sport'
QUESTIONS have been raised as to whether men's sport should be given equal coverage to women's sport.
Mourinho unveils schedule for extensive pre-season ego trip
JOSE Mourinho has revealed plans for a summer tour of his monumental self-regard.
Dreadful American defiles Wimbledon with his ghastly skill
WIMBLEDON has been defiled, perhaps forever, by the vulgar skill and strength of some dreadful American who probably eats with his hands.
Wimbledon crowd cheers as Murray's opponent mauled by bear
WIMBLEDON fans rejoiced as Andrew Murray's opponent was attacked by a brown bear, it has emerged.
Guardiola to guest-edit FourFourTwo and rename it OneTen
PEP Guardiola is to guest-edit football magazine Four Four Two and change its name to One Ten, it has emerged.
Bigger Premier League clubs planning to bully Huddersfield
THE other Premier League teams are hatching a plot to bully newcomers Huddersfield throughout next season.