Sport
Rooney sentenced to 100 hours of supporting Everton
WAYNE Rooney has been sentenced to 100 gruelling hours of supporting Everton.
Arsenal hoping nobody they know saw them in the Europa League
ARSENAL have attempted to sneak through their Europa League clash with FC Koln without anyone noticing them.
Frank de Boer no longer able to get six-month tenancy on a flat
NO LANDLORD in Europe is willing to give Frank De Boer a six-month lease on a flat because there is little chance he'll be in employment that long.
Otherwise intelligent man excited about idiotic boxing thing
A MAN who reads book is currently thinking about almost nothing but tomorrow's ludicrous boxing mismatch.
Rooney ends disappointing 119 cap, 53 goal England career
WAYNE Rooney's record-breaking international career was actually pretty shit when it comes down to it, football experts have concluded.
'Sick' athletes must compete unless they have note from mum
ATHLETES claiming to be poorly with a tummy bug must have a note signed by a parent, officials have confirmed.
Thank god the football's back, says man who refused to watch Women's Euros
FINALLY there is football on again, according to a man who avoided the women's European Championships.
