Sport
World Cup opening ceremony to centre on 380ft replica of Putin’s cock
TODAY’S World Cup opening ceremony will feature a monstrous replica of Russian president Vladimir Putin’s ‘magnificent’ penis.
Nobody offended by Harry Kane's 'World Cup Group Stage June 18' tattoo
TEAMMATES and fans have no issue with Harry Kane’s new tattoo commemorating England’s upcoming group stage exit, they have confirmed.
Sunderland to be out of Football League before Britain is out of EU
SUNDERLAND'S relegation to League One means there is a good chance they will have left the Football League before Britain leaves the EU, it has been confirmed.
Wenger agrees to leave Arsenal in 2005
ARSENAL has confirmed Arsene Wenger will officially leave the club 13 years ago.
Cricket reclassified as 'cheaty sport'
CRICKET has been officially reclassified as one of the world’s ‘cheaty’ sports, along with cycling and sprinting.
Sober horses ruin massive piss-up
REVELLERS at the Cheltenham Festival have complained that horses are getting in the way of their drinking.
How to not be an arsehole if you're a famous footballer
ARE you a professional footballer who’d like to try not being a total arsehole for once? Simply follow the advice below.
Wiggins denies he took 'Mod drugs'
SIR Bradley Wiggins has rejected claims he won the Tour de France on a handful of Purple Hearts and some Mandrax.
Skrnsson takes gold in Uphill Nordic Skjord
FINLAND'S Rinsu Skrnsson defended his Olympic title last night, taking gold in the 2x4000 Uphill Nordic Skjord.
Phil Neville’s guide to women
Scientists have proven that women do not experience friendship like we do, being unable to physcially withstand banter.
Otherwise intelligent man believes he is good at betting on sport
A SEEMINGLY rational man has boasted about his talent for gambling on sporting events.
Golfer somehow not an arsehole
A MAN who plays golf regularly is strangely not an arsehole, it has been confirmed.