Sport

ITV to replace Champions League with footage of people laughing as they illegally stream matches

ITV is to replace Champions League matches with footage of laughing people who are illegally streaming the matches without signing up for BT sports.

Two grown men unable to settle differences without punching

DAVID Haye and Tony Bellew, both fully grown adults, are unable to settle an argument about who is toughest without resorting to violence.

Manchester United forgot to take EFL trophy home

MANCHESTER United’s players have realised they forgot to take the EFL trophy home from Wembley, even though it is so important to them.

Leicester City owners fire Ranieri, fans and surrounding conurbation

LEICESTER City’s owners have sacked title-winning manager Claudio Ranieri, the fans of the club and the city of Leicester itself.

Rugby under increasing pressure to come up with set of rules

RUGBY Union chiefs have been forced to admit the sport is a bloodletting free-for-all that may need some rules.

Arsenal can't remember if they are still in Champions League

THE Champions League has returned after a lengthy break and nobody at Arsenal is sure whether they have gone out yet.

Another 12 seasons of this and you’re fired, board warns Wenger

ARSENE Wenger has been warned that he has until 2029 to win the Premier League or face the consequences.

Leicester fans attempting to boo Ranieri

LEICESTER City supporters are physically unable to jeer Claudio Ranieri, however bad results get.

Rugby fan claims there is rugby on

A RUGBY fan has insisted that a big rugby event is currently taking place, despite nobody having heard anything about it.

Wenger and Corbyn to swap jobs 

ARSENAL manager Arsene Wenger and Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn are to trade roles in a bid to transform the fortunes of their respective teams.

Moyes urged to tone down utter contempt for Sunderland

DAVID Moyes has been urged to tone down his palpable disdain for Sunderland Football Club.

Southgate enjoys best moment of reign as England manager

GARETH Southgate has enjoyed what he will later agree was the happiest day of his stint as England manager.