OFFICIALS at Wimbledon are to outlaw the practice of 'fisting' during matches in a move to clean up the increasingly offensive world of international tennis.
MORE than 99% of the spoiled ballots in the Holyrood election came from areas with the highest concentration of Rangers and Celtic supporters, according to new research.
HE encapsulates modern Glasgow and extends a warm Scottish welcome to the world: He's Mungo the Shit-Faced Octopus.
POLICE have issued an urgent warning to the public not to approach the designer of the London 2012 Olympic logo.
BRITISH number one Andy Murray has completed his preparations for dropping out of Wimbledon with the appointment of a world-class excuses coach.
THE musical director for the 2012 London Olympics has admitted that the ceremonial brass band 'probably won't bother' to learn Scotland's national anthem.
HEARTS chairman Vladimir Romanov is to transform the old Royal Bank of Scotland headquarters in Edinburgh into the city's first A-listed discount garden centre.
GLASGOW city leaders today unveiled a £40 million package of incentives in their bid to host the 2014 Commonmouth Games – the Olympics of world swearing.
IN a surprise announcement Uefa has awarded the lucrative plumbing and joinery contracts for the Euro 2012 football championships to Poland and Ukraine.
HEART of Midlothian chairman Vladimir Romanov has admitted that he bought the club after a "catastrophic mistranslation" during a meeting in Edinburgh two years ago.
WORLD number one Tiger Woods has accused Jesus of deliberately interrupting his game during the final round of the US Masters.
THE Commonwealth Games committee has given an early boost the Nigerian city of Abuja in its contest with Glasgow to host the 2012 event.