Brazil Has Better Class Of Rubbish Heap Death Squad, Says Homesick Robinho

THE ruthless death squads that roam the rubbish heaps of Manchester are not as good as the ones in Brazil, Man City striker Robinho said last night.

Robinho was disappointed with the Arndale Centre

The homesick star has revealed he wants to move back to Santos insisting Manchester's vast, stinking piles of vermin-ridden filth do not have the same sense of community.

He said: "When I go Manchester shit heap, all people want money or bang my nice Lamborghini with stolen piece of wood.

"They shoot from car and call the dirty name. They no time for chit-chat or ask me do keepy-up."

Robinho confirmed there has been interest from Portuguese giants Benfica, but said he would not make a decision until he had surveyed the city from the top of its highest rubbish pile.

He added: "When I go Santos shit heap, I chit-chat with kiddy. I teach them how balance ball on back of neck, then watch them scatter as crazy armed bastards come over brow of pile, shooting anything that move.

"Then I chit-chat with crazy armed bastards. I teach them how balance ball on back of heel, then watch them scatter as BBC film crew come over brow of pile, interviewing anything that cry.

"Then I organise five a sidings tournament with kiddies, bastards and BBC film crew, then we all go have Pepsi Cola. It nice."