England fans gripped by opposite of fever
THE announcement of Englands squad has triggered no excitement ahead of the Euro 2012 tournament.
Roy Hodgsons press conference, not broadcast on radio in case any listeners were driving vehicles or operating heavy machinery, delivered a blend of the predictable, disappointing and Frank Lampard that left pulse rates unaffected.
England fan Wayne Hayes said: I might get one of those flags for the car if the newspapers are giving them away but I threw out the face paint after the last one. Whens it all starting?
Actually, I think Im visiting the wifes sister in Carlisle next month so Ill probably miss most of it, but if we get past the group stage I might have a look.
“What? Andy Carroll? Really? Oh well, thats solved that one, then.
Meanwhile, the tournament has claimed its first managerial casualty as Kenny Dalglish has left Liverpool FC after failing to rid the England side of Liverpool players.
The smile-free galoot master had hoped to render everybody in the team unselectable for the national side, but England still go to Euro 2012 with the drag factor of four Liverpool players.
Dalglish said: Im actually from Buckinghamshire, Ive always loved the England football team and I dont want to see it cluttered with the likes of Henderson walking into things or Gerrard trying to launch the ball into geostationary orbit.
I tried my best or worst, depending on how you look at it, but I dont think anyone in their wildest dreams could have foreseen Downing being picked.