STEVE McClaren has admitted Newcastle United has scored its last goal until March.
ENGLAND fans are convincing themselves the team has no chance at Euro 2016 and is therefore certain to win.
THE RUGBY World Cup has entered its six month with no sign of it finishing any time soon.
ENGLAND has confessed to feeling just torn apart by Scotland’s failure to qualify for Euro 2016.
ARSENAL manager Arsene Wenger has not consumed solid food for over 45 years.
THE job of managing Sunderland football club is to be given to someone randomly selected from the Electoral Roll.
LIVERPOOL fans are demanding the dismissal of the man who has yet to be confirmed as the club’s new manager.
WAYNE Rooney has inspired millions of young Britons to phone it in while gorging on sticky buns.
BRENDAN Rodgers has confirmed that being fired was something he had planned all along.
ENGLAND rugby fans have vowed to cheer Australia all the way to the World Cup final.
'GETTING served' is to be an event at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics.
THE English are arrogant fops and the Welsh are brave, stocky underdogs, it has been confirmed.