WIMBLEDON fortnight has begun amid sunshine and the imminent collapse of everything.
ENGLISH men are not as good at playing football as English women, it has been confirmed.
ROBERTO Firmino is the man to fire Liverpool to the Premier League title, according to supporters who only learned his name yesterday.
MANCHESTER United is to purchase a luxury hotel themed around former right-back Gary Neville.
THE original script for the new Fifa movie was accidentally destroyed just before FBI investigators arrived at the organisation’s headquarters.
WOMEN cannot play football, a plump and uncoordinated man has claimed.
FOUR in every five banknotes has been used for an illegal payment by FIFA, investigators have confirmed.
FIFA has unveiled a ground-breaking new set of design standards for football pitch corner flags.
PANINI has capitalised on the ongoing FIFA scandal by releasing the 2015 FIFA Corruption Scandal Official Sticker Collection.
SEPP Blatter revealed that he was football’s father moments before sacrificing himself to destroy the FIFA death star.
THE world of professional football has expressed its outrage at the 'sickening' greed of FIFA officials.
SEPP Blatter has confirmed he has quite tremendously huge testicles.