Sport Headlines

Scotland suddenly teeming with Croatia fans

SCOTLAND is suddenly teeming with Croatia fans, it has been confirmed.

It's okay to lose as long as you try your very best, fans assure England

ENGLAND fans have reassured the World Cup squad that they will still be just as proud if they win or lose as long as they try their hardest.

Dad has can of lager before 9am in preparation for England game

A DAD has already had a full can of lager before anyone got up in anticipation of this afternoon’s England game, he has admitted.

England fan to savour next penalty shootout as if it were a fine wine

AN England fan is planning to savour the team’s next penalty shootout as if it were a fine, vintage wine.

England fans looking forward to tonight's match as much as they would a job interview

ENGLAND fans are anticipating tonight’s match with the same mixture of creeping dread and desperate hope that they would take to a job interview.

This World Cup has nothing on 1954, say football hipsters

FOOTBALL hipsters have insisted the current World Cup is 'vastly inferior' to Switzerland ’'54.

For two weeks a year we pretend to give a f**k about tennis, Englishman explains to foreign colleague

A BRITISH man has patiently explained to an Italian colleague that for a fortnight every year England pretends to like tennis.

Don't you dare start believing, says Southgate

ENGLAND manager Gareth Southgate has warned the public that on no account are they allowed to begin believing in his team.