BEHIND every runner in this weekend’s London Marathon are at least 15 people sick to death of hearing about it and willing it to be over.
THE Scottish national football team is now the underdog against a range of made-up countries.
A FOOTBALL fan has proudly proclaimed that he can watch literally any game of football, from the Champions League to a lads’ kickabout in the park.
HUNGOVER has narrowly beaten Still Pissed From Last Night in a hotly contested Sunday league football game.
SACKED Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho is the new Brexit secretary, it has been confirmed.
A GROUP of rugby players are worried about a teammate after seeing him drinking a glass of warm piss on his own.
GOLF fans are insisting that the Ryder Cup is a tense, explosive contest that will have even the golf-averse on the edge of their seats.
HOLA, this is the Special One, Jose Mourinho and I'm here to teach you how be a proper miserable sod.
UNITED manager Jose Mourinho increasingly resembles the Scooby-Doo caretaker who has found gold on the premises, players have claimed.
A BLOODY cyclist has been going too bloody fast, it has been confirmed.
SHOCKED Tour de France competitors have discovered that poor planning has led to a very mountainous route.
ENGLAND players have agreed that today’s third-place play-off should just be given to Belgium if they want it because it is no use to us.