Sport Headlines

Come home now, England team told

THE England team have been told to leave the World Cup and return home as heroes before it all turns sour. 

It's not about the war, says man supporting any team against Germany

A MAN watching the World Cup says he has no grudge against Germany despite passionately supporting any side playing against them.

Man leaving office early to watch football that isn't on until 7pm

A MAN has announced he will be leaving the office at lunchtime to watch the game, even though it begins at 7pm. 

World Cup wallchart abandoned

A WORLD Cup wallchart pinned to a bathroom wall has received its final entry just four days into the event.

Nobody offended by Harry Kane's 'World Cup Group Stage June 18' tattoo

TEAMMATES and fans have no issue with Harry Kane’s new tattoo commemorating England’s upcoming group stage exit, they have confirmed.

Sunderland to be out of Football League before Britain is out of EU

SUNDERLAND'S relegation to League One means there is a good chance they will have left the Football League before Britain leaves the EU, it has been confirmed.

Wenger agrees to leave Arsenal in 2005

ARSENAL has confirmed Arsene Wenger will officially leave the club 13 years ago.

Cricket reclassified as 'cheaty sport'

CRICKET has been officially reclassified as one of the world’s ‘cheaty’ sports, along with cycling and sprinting.

Sober horses ruin massive piss-up

REVELLERS at the Cheltenham Festival have complained that horses are getting in the way of their drinking.

How to not be an arsehole if you're a famous footballer

ARE you a professional footballer who’d like to try not being a total arsehole for once? Simply follow the advice below.

Wiggins denies he took 'Mod drugs' 


SIR Bradley Wiggins has rejected claims he won the Tour de France on a handful of Purple Hearts and some Mandrax.

Skrnsson takes gold in Uphill Nordic Skjord

FINLAND'S Rinsu Skrnsson defended his Olympic title last night, taking gold in the 2x4000 Uphill Nordic Skjord.