Sport Headlines
Hard kid from down the park tops FA list
THE hard kid from the park who always gets first pick of players has been tipped to replace Sam Allardyce.
Trump to become England manager
DONALD Trump will be unveiled as England manager this Saturday, the FA has confirmed.
Britain wants Jurgen Klopp to be its stepdad
BRITAIN’S football fans have admitted that having Jurgen Klopp as a stepdad would be great.
Big Sam doesn’t give a f**k
ENGLAND manager Sam Allardyce has confirmed that he could not give a fuck what anybody says.
Gareth Bale finally able to afford haircut
GARETH Bale's new contract will finally allow him to do something about his hair.
Sky Sports wins rights to Great British Bake Off
THE next series of Great British Bake Off will be part of Sky Sports' roster of ultra-hyped events.
International football 'complete waste of time if you think about it'
THE World Cup 2018 qualifiers have been marred by a nagging awareness that there’s absolutely no point in playing them.
Allardyce bemoans the quality of chips in Slovakia
SAM Allardyce has complained to the FA about the lack of chip barms in Slovakia.
Twenty per cent of UK workforce on loan from Chelsea FC
ONE in five British workers are on loan to their current job from Chelsea FC, it has emerged.
Premier League chairman wakes up wondering who the f**k he bought last night
A PREMIER League chairman has woken up in the boardroom with vague memories of going on a transfer binge late last night.
Goalkeeper at five-a-side looks suspiciously like Joe Hart
THE opposition goalkeeper in a Goals five-a-side league match near Manchester looks a lot like Joe Hart, players have reported.
Audience at darts tournament have no idea there's a darts tournament going on
THE MAJORITY of the crowd at the Perth Masters darts tournament have no idea that there is a darts tournament being played, they have confirmed.