Saturday, 8th May 2021

New Zealand halfway through gruelling three-day lockdown

FOLLOWING the discovery of a handful of local Covid-19 cases, New Zealand is currently halfway through a demanding three-day lockdown.

The punishing restrictions demand that Auckland’s 1.7 million residents remain indoors for a full 72 hours, while the rest of the country has been politely asked to follow the Alert Level 2 rules.

New Zealand resident Mary Fisher said: “We all praised Jacinda Ardern for going hard and early with the restrictions last year, but this time she’s gone too far. She’s clearly drunk with power.

“What am I meant to do if I want to take in the breath-taking natural scenery I’ve enjoyed uninhibited for months on end? Turn my head slightly and look out the window? It’s just not the same.

“We’ve endured hours of these emergency measures and the end is already clearly in sight, but I think people want to lift the lockdown early so we can return to the normality we all vividly remember from last week.”

Fisher’s friend in London Tom Booker said: “Sorry, I thought you were taking the piss when you said three days. I’ve had hangovers longer than that.”