"That bastard David Cameron thinks it's so funny to laugh at the ambiguous pronunciation of my name."
US millennialists aren't into all that old fashioned ice-cream and jelly musical statues rubbish.
ASK for school to be abolished and for Elsa from Frozen to be your best friend.
DON'T worry, everyone's dad is rubbish and embarrassing sometimes.
YOU should follow my granny on Twitter, if you don't already.
ATHEISM isn't a wise choice if you are a schoolkid.
WHEN I was little, we had a German au pair called Valborga and she was 17.
SORRY to hear your new boyfriend has such a silly name.