Agony Aunt

How can I sound convincingly sorry?

Try to imagine Harry Styles being killed by firing squad.

Some aspects of pregnancy are at odds with my glamorous image

How can I inspire millions of wet dreams when I can't comfortably sit down?

My marriage split makes me want to listen to Happy

Having broken up with my wife, I'm surprised to find I don't want to listen to Coldplay.

Facebook is my Frankenstein's monster

My granny says that in the olden days people used to take photos of other people.

Look at the stuff I sent to ministers, but lay off my One Direction fan mail

There is nothing more incriminating than a handwritten note.

Mental relaxation has affected my bottom

I can't even get up from a chair without letting one rip.

Is this the baby blues you hear about?

Ensure you have an adequate supply of slate blue corduroy trousers.

I've been suffering from terrible constipation of late

Have you ever noticed that teachers never go to the toilet?