Agony Aunt

Ask Holly: Why can't Brits become tantric sex gods?

KANYE must have eaten too many fruit gums.

Ask Holly: Is 'up' really the only way?

I REMINDED her we live in a post-truth society and she put me in detention.

Ask Holly: What's happening up there on Earth?

ONCE in a while we're allowed to do empowering stuff like turn the kingdom to ice.

Ask Holly: Why am I such a miserable git?

HAPPINESS comes from sweets and things made of plastic.

Ask Holly: What's everyone's problem?

APPRENTLY hardly anyone wants to listen to me on the radio, even though I work so hard discussing pointless drivel with myself for hours.

Ask Holly: It has been a mental few days but now I am back in my cage

MUMMU did some loud swearing about Sophie's mum and drank quite a lot of her own special Ribena.

Ask Holly: Seeing as Brexit is going so well, maybe I should try to start a war too?

BE CAREFUL picking fights with people in case they have a mentalist dad from Glasgow.

Ask Holly: My poor wife has been robbed and now I am truly narked

I AM going to find those French nincompoops and give them one of my shattering death stares.