Agony Aunt

Ask Holly: An army of sparrows is plotting to overthrow the government

YOU'RE all worried about Trump and Brexit when the real threat is known only to us birdwatchers.

Ask Holly: How can I make myself stop crying?

KIDS are used to being told to sod off.

Ask Holly: What's the best way of taking off leather trousers?

I'VE NO idea about leather trousers but in our school nativity I'm sheep number seven.

Ask Holly: Whenever I try to say 'bridge' it comes out as 'buh-reeeeege'

THERE is no affliction which can't be cured with a Hatchimal for Christmas.

Ask Holly: Why can't Brits become tantric sex gods?

KANYE must have eaten too many fruit gums.

Ask Holly: Is 'up' really the only way?

I REMINDED her we live in a post-truth society and she put me in detention.

Ask Holly: What's happening up there on Earth?

ONCE in a while we're allowed to do empowering stuff like turn the kingdom to ice.

Ask Holly: Why am I such a miserable git?

HAPPINESS comes from sweets and things made of plastic.