Sport

Sunderland fans to have memories wiped

SUNDERLAND players have paid to have fans' memories of their defeat by Southampton surgically deleted.

Liverpool victory just Raheem Sterling's dream

LIVERPOOL'S 3-2 victory against QPR only happened in striker Raheem Sterling's sleeping mind, the FA has confirmed.

Wales dreaming of nearly qualifying for Euro 2016

WELSH footballers are hoping to only just miss out on Euro 2016, it has emerged.

Five-man England beats ten-man Estonia

ENGLAND beat a depleted Estonia yesterday despite only having five decent players.

Rugby union afraid of rugby league

RUGBY union players live in constant fear of encountering their league counterparts, it has emerged.

Rooney is England's dysfunctional father figure

WAYNE Rooney is the England squad's bitter and needy dad substitute, it has been confirmed.

San Marino blasted for playing ringer

ENGLAND football manager Roy Hodgson has attacked San Marino for sneaking a professional onto the field.