Mourinho downgraded to Adequate One

JOSE Mourinho has been reclassified as the Adequate One to reflect with his recent coaching CV.

I thought I was joining Man City, admits Pogba

PAUL Pogba thought he was joining Man City but didn't want to make a fuss by mentioning it before, it has emerged.

Gary Neville refusing to come down from Old Trafford roof

GARY Neville has been sat on the roof of Old Trafford since midnight, police have confirmed.

McClaren ‘surprised as everyone else’ to find himself back in football

STEVE McClaren has been unable to explain how he came to be managing a football club again.

FIFA 17 includes option to take a bung

THE 2017 edition of FIFA for the Xbox has a more realistic manager mode which allows players to take bungs in Far East hotels.

Hard kid from down the park tops FA list

THE hard kid from the park who always gets first pick of players has been tipped to replace Sam Allardyce.

Trump to become England manager

DONALD Trump will be unveiled as England manager this Saturday, the FA has confirmed.

Britain wants Jurgen Klopp to be its stepdad

BRITAIN’S football fans have admitted that having Jurgen Klopp as a stepdad would be great.