Sport

Further arrests in anti-Big Club conspiracy

DOZENS of referees, players and public officials have been rounded up as part of the investigation into a conspiracy against big Premier League clubs.

You should hear me when I stub my f**king toe, says Kim Sears

ANDY Murray's fiancee has dismissed her expletive-filled tirade against his Australian Open semi-final opponent as nothing compared to when she steps in catshit.

Desperate media offers to go halfsies on any transfer fee

INCREASINGLY panicky sports editors have offered to stump up half the cost of any January football transfer deal.

Hipster trying to start conversation about Africa Cup of Nations

SELF-STYLED African football fan Tom Logan has annoyed work colleagues by repeatedly making references to Equatorial Guinea.

FA Cup giant-killings to be followed by Premier League dwarf-killings

FOLLOWING the weekend's giant-killing FA Cup wins, the Premier League has promised that next weekend's dwarf-crushings will continue as usual.

FA Cup romance turns to lust

THE FA plans to tone down the romance of the FA Cup after a fan broke into Wembley Stadium and made love to the trophy.

Berahino 'not for sale' except if money involved

SAIDO Berahino will not be leaving West Bromwich Albion under any circumstances except in exchange for a large sum of currency, it has been confirmed.

Mirallas unsuccessfully tries to park Baines’s car

EVERTON midfielder Kevin Mirallas has damaged team mate Leighton Baines’s car after deciding to park it for him.