THE EU has threatened to send your elderly expat relatives home to live with you.
PASSENGERS on turbulent flights are pretending to read the in-flight magazine while inwardly shitting themselves.
RESEARCHERS into seasonal affective disorder believe it may be caused by everything being dark, cold and awful for months on end.
NEW research has found that in any situation involving multiple humans one of them will be deliberately uncooperative.
SCOTLAND is capitalising on being the site of the first act of copulation with a new slogan and flag.
A FAMILY’S Waitrose food delivery contained a massive loudmouthed spider with old-fashioned sexist views.
A GROUP of caners spotted in a Welsh valley noted for psilocybin mushrooms have claimed they were just getting some fresh air.
LABOUR leader Ed Miliband is still technically on work experience and has yet to receive a wage.
JUSTICE minister Chris Grayling has announced tough new penalties for individuals using sarcasm online.