CANNABIS users have explained the brain damage they suffer is the only thing that gets them through the same episode of Friends for the 12th time.
A PAIR of childless, self-satisfied twats are buying their nieces and nephews some art equipment for Christmas.
THE Labour Party has agreed to vote on Syria next week and then ‘knock it on the head’.
THE price of any item reduced on Black Friday is whatever it says on the label plus your very soul, retailers have agreed.
DAVID Cameron has called on Britain to flatten the last remaining bumpy bits of Syria.
JEREMY Corbyn has apologised after the shadow chancellor quoted Mao in the Commons yesterday, clarifying that he always preferred Pol Pot.
A ROBIN has described its intense dislike of everything associated with Christmas.
THE KEY to Leicester City’s success is to avoid playing anyone decent, it has been confirmed.
BRITAIN’S middle class landlords have admitted that they are just like Walter White from Breaking Bad.