THE BBC has revealed The Great British Bake Off is an 'enormously dangerous', population-wide experiment.
MIDDLE England has admitted the Tories are the baddies in a film, just like those lefties always claimed.
SOMEONE is writing a Guardian article about how leaving London to live in Bristol is like fleeing Syria, it has been confirmed.
A MARKETING manager is staying in the office until 7pm every night to imagine the illicit thrill of having an affair.
AN IPHONE 6S has told its owner to be strong and carry on after its shitty battery gave out.
WAYNE Rooney has inspired millions of young Britons to phone it in while gorging on sticky buns.
ORDINARY Britons are to buy Lloyds bank so that they can send it back to the hell from which it came.
AN appalling man is gearing himself up for an argument over having to pay five pence for a plastic bag.
BRENDAN Rodgers has confirmed that being fired was something he had planned all along.