DAVID Cameron has reached out to Britain’s everyday bastard-in-the-street.
HUMANITY is conflicted over whether it is worth decimating the planet to maintain the supply of desirable consumer goods.
MODEL Kelly Brook has left the mortal plane to travel the higher realms looking for love.
ANYTHING described as ‘totally legal’ is always the wrong thing to do, it has emerged.
PARENTS unable to afford school fees have been reduced to leaving public school prospectuses in highly visible areas of their homes.
OFFICIALS will enforce 'pinch, punch, first of the month' tomorrow, it has been confirmed.
THE British economy is now completely dependent on 19-year-olds playing and narrating computer games.
WOMEN with no interest in copulation are bereft following the marriage of their dream man George Clooney.
RYDER Cup fans have been warned that golf is a boring pastime for twats.