Government backs 'North London Powerhouse'

THE government has given its backing to the multi-million pound 'North London Powerhouse'.

Children holding talks on best way to ruin holiday

BRITISH children have begun talks on how to destroy any sense of peace and relaxation on their family holiday.

Corbyn trying to return to cult following 

JEREMY Corbyn is releasing increasingly difficult material to reduce his fanbase to before he was successful.

Middle class men to buy their sex robots from John Lewis

MIDDLE class men have decided that when sex robots become widely available they will buy theirs from John Lewis.

Man furious as girlfriend asks stranger for directions

A MAN is furious after his girlfriend ignored his decree on asking a stranger for directions to their hotel.

People with loads of debt confident banks will return favour and bail them out

BRITISH households in dangerous levels of debt are confident that the banks will return the favour and bail them out this time.

Jacob Rees-Mogg and David Davis to decide Tory leadership race with cannons

JACOB Rees-Mogg and David Davis will decide the Tory leadership contest by firing 19th Century cannons at each other outside Parliament.

Family admits 'staycation' was incredibly stupid idea

A FAMILY who thought it would be fun to stay home instead of going away on holiday has admitted it was a shit idea.

Scientists confirm olives are just evil grapes

OLIVES are just normal grapes that have become evil, researchers have found.