OFFICE workers eating their sandwiches in the park are increasingly never going back to work or society.
NO-ONE wants to be the first to remove the Pride rainbow from their Facebook picture, it has emerged.
ALL other canned drinks regard San Pellegrino as a smug prick with a stupid foil hat, it has emerged.
THE best thing at Glastonbury was getting smashed in your tent, it has emerged.
ENGLISH men are not as good at playing football as English women, it has been confirmed.
54-YEAR-OLD plumber Tom Booker has grudgingly complimented the physiques of Gay Pride participants.
WIMBLEDON fortnight has begun amid sunshine and the imminent collapse of everything.
BRITAIN'S convertible owners are set to enjoy the 72 hour annual period where they do not feel idiotic for buying it.
A MANAGER is under the impression that outside of work he somehow stops being a prick.