Prosecco is top blackout juice

EVERYBODY is getting wasted on prosecco this year, supermarkets have confirmed.

Cameron announces tough sanctions against London

THE prime minister is to impose sanctions on Russia's wealthiest city, London.

Katie Price announces remake of My Fair Lady

FORMER glamour model Katie Price is to write, direct and star in an updated version of My Fair Lady.

Prince George shoots his first butterfly

PRINCE George has been introduced to the world of country sports by shooting a butterfly.

Sex actually quite strange

SEXUAL intercourse is probably the weirdest thing you will ever do, according to experts.

Nick Griffin's CV

IF I do not hear from you I will assume it is because I am not black or in ownership of a vagina.

BBC accused of cock ring bias

ALL male BBC presenters have some form of penis adornment, it has emerged.

Nan rates films based on scenery

81-YEAR-OLD Mary Fisher's opinion of a film is based entirely on whether it features pleasant scenery.

McIlroy's dad puts £100,000 on him burning out by 30

GERRY McIlroy has bet the money he won on his son's Open victory on him never winning a major ever again.