THE government has told the BBC not to prejudice the public by referring to the T-800 as the Terminator.
THE sun is shining, which means that you can only look in enviously at the comforts of your home while you chew meat in the garden.
THE Greek people are ready to give their final yes or no vote on an unknown issue that will decide their entire future.
THE boy who will be Britain’s next Labour Prime Minister in 2056 turned 10 years old yesterday.
DOLPHINS are vicious, brutal thugs spoiling for a fight with humanity, it has emerged.
DAVID Cameron has decisively moved a Post-it note reading “Action on Syria?!?” to eye-level on his fridge door.
A CITY accountancy firm has advertised for a trained specialist to deal with its demanding daily coffee round.
COMPLETE nobody Roy Hobbs is demanding tough action be taken against Greece.
BRITONS are confessing their cock-ups in a show of solidarity with footballer Laura Bassett.