PEOPLE who work from home are routinely coercing themselves to perform inappropriate acts, it has emerged.
SOLDIERS who failed to meet Afghan death targets are to be sacked.
ANYONE claiming to have whiplash will be denied telly and crisps for a week, as a test of their integrity.
THE editors of the Oxford English Dictionary have included a series of ill-advised words after speaking to cruel teenagers.
DADS are struggling with normality after 24 hours of unbridled self-indulgence.
BRITAIN is still a world-leader at producing people who can fall out of buildings, it has been confirmed.
HORSES are strange, it has been claimed.
Two decades have officially passed since people knew what was at the top of the charts.
GPS collars have revealed that cats spend their nights in the nearest cat pub.