Woman discovers adding 'LOL!' is great excuse to be an utter shit

A WOMAN who adds ‘LOL!’ to the end of all communication thinks she can get away with being completely vile.

UKIP to ban snoods, foreign cheese and all curries hotter than a rogan josh

UKIP has unveiled its manifesto with a pledge to ban the snood, hot curry and ‘untrustworthy’ foreign cheese.

Middle-class family tanning absolute f**k out of their National Trust membership

A FAMILY have spent the Easter holidays giving their National Trust cards an absolute fucking hammering.

We will vote Conservative because we deserve to be punished, says Britain

BRITONS will elect a Conservative government because they believe they are bad and deserve to suffer, polls have confirmed.

Cyclists handed yet another reason to think they’re better than you

THE news that cycling cuts the risk of cancer by half has given cyclists another reason to be insufferably smug, it has emerged.

EU dares to have Brexit demands

THE EU has dared to have a list of demands for the Brexit negotiations when it is Britain that will be doing the demanding.

My government is a weak, unstable, leaderless rabble, says May in interview slip

THERESA May has accidentally contradicted her ‘strong, stable, leadership’ electoral message in a live interview.

£70k a year nothing, factory workers agree

A GROUP of Burnley factory workers have agreed that nobody on £70,000 a year can really be considered ‘rich’.

If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, claims Corbyn

LABOUR leader Jeremy Corbyn has told Theresa May that if she strikes him down, then it is she who will truly have lost.