Corbyn would make a terrible Bond, says Pierce Brosnan

A FORMER 007 has claimed that Jeremy Corbyn does not have what it takes to fight the evil forces of SMERSH.

Dear Holly: "I've basically been fannying about"

I'm in the shit. I need an excuse, and quick, can you help? Yours, Sir John Chilcot

Smiths know deep down they will eventually reform

INDIE legends The Smiths have admitted they will eventually play a series of hate-filled reunion gigs.

Sexual tension between male cyclists and taxi drivers reaching unbearable levels

TAXI drivers and men on bikes are almost at the point where they will stop disguising their lust as loathing.

Rail companies unveil women-only rip-offs

RAIL companies have devised an incomprehensible new fare structure, specially for women.

Office pettiness ‘enjoyed by all’

BEING petty in the work place is the main reason people go to work in the morning.

New app to help you find daytime drinking buddies

A NEW Tinder-style phone app is helping people find compatible daytime drinking partners.

China ends fun experiment with capitalism

CHINA is to return to full-scale communism after realising capitalism is not really its 'bag'.

Cumberbatch’s mum thinks he was shit in 'Star Trek'

BENEDICT Cumberbatch’s mother last night praised her son’s Hamlet saying it was ‘a million times better than that shit he did Star Trek’.