Yanis Varoufakis to become mysterious tough drifter

GREECE’S former finance minister has unveiled plans to ride around on his motorbike having martial arts battles with local villains.

Love Island retitled Knobhead Peninsula

ITV REALITY show Love Island is to be retitled Knobhead Peninsula for the remainder of the current series.

Secret of looking young is self-delusion

THE best way to maintain youthful looks is to live in a delusional fantasy world, it has emerged.

Security unable to stop thousands breaking out of Wireless Festival

SECURITY staff at Wireless Festival were overwhelmed by crowds fleeing the likes of David Guetta and Nicki Minaj.

Sleaford Mods named as Princess Charlotte’s godparents

NOTTINGHAM post-punk duo Sleaford Mods have expressed surprise and joy at becoming godparents to Princess Charlotte.

Geniuses just pretending not to have common sense

ACADEMICALLY exceptional people are lying about their inability to do everyday domestic tasks, it has emerged.

Zeus not keen to confront Merkel

GREEK king of the gods Zeus has warned his mortal subjects that he is not up for any sort of confrontation with Angela Merkel.

Tizer granted UNESCO World Heritage status

TIZER has been named a fizzy drink of outstanding cultural importance by the UN.

BBC ordered to refer to Terminator as T-800

THE government has told the BBC not to prejudice the public by referring to the T-800 as the Terminator.