YOUR regular Christmas card from a couple you've never met has arrived.
OUR ancestors worried about the cave market and borrowed pelts to buy their dwellings, according to archaeologists.
GROUNDBREAKING research has revealed that everyone inhabits their own personal universe which rarely intersects with others.
A PAINTER and decorator has offered to replace the two Damien Hirst artworks stolen from an art gallery.
CONSUMERS have been warned about fashionable 'bad jumpers' which contain too many layers of irony.
SURVIVORS of the London fog have revealed that 'some bad, freaky shit is happening in there'.
A COUPLE have won the legal right to be married in a British Scientology chapel, allowing Tom Cruise to be a best man for the 3,814th time.
POTHEADS have been frantically booking flights after hearing about Uruguay's weed/dolphins combination.
NASA scientists have concocted a story about 'Mark the microbe' to make Mars sound interesting.