Man to just have chips for dinner

A GROWN man has announced that he will be having nothing more than a plate of chips for his dinner tonight.

Devoted son spends hours searching for Mother’s Day discount codes

A LOVING son spent an entire morning googling coupon codes to get money off a bunch of flowers for his mum, it has emerged.

Daily Mail scurrying about like a horrid little spider

THE DAILY Mail is scurrying around like a spider trying to get up society's trouser leg, it has emerged.

London in grip of normality

LONDON is today in the grip of normality, with millions having their breakfast then going to work.

Dad trying to get kids into Catholic school claims to ‘f**king love the Pope’

A FATHER attempting to get his daughters into Catholic school told the admissions board that the Pope is 'fucking ace'.

School gate mums so competitive about children's achievements, says only mum doing it

ALL THE mothers at the school gate are horrendously competitive about their children’s progress, according to a mother who can think of nothing else.

Pensions now worth enough for one big bender

THE average British pension will now fund one proper night out when you finally reach retirement, financial advisers have confirmed.

Lucky bastard schoolkid has art, drama and then history today

A LUCKY bastard of a schoolkid has got art this morning, then drama and then he's got history after lunch.

First class on regional trains not like Orient Express, man discovers

THE first class sections of regional trains do not feature the opulent luxury and fine dining experiences of the Orient Express, a man has found.