Syria-bound family just really hated Stoke

MEMBERS of a British family headed for Syria have confirmed they were just sick of the Midlands.

Green Party achieves 100 per cent approval among tiresome Steiner parents

SELF-SATISFIED Steiner couples are totally behind the Green Party, it has emerged.

Sherwood launches 'mind banter' campaign against Wenger

TIM Sherwood will forego traditional cup final 'mind games' in favour of subtly inferring that Arsene Wenger is unable to down a pint.

Supervoid ‘is evidence of cosmic graphic design’

THE supervoid was carefully placed to make the rest of the universe look 'cleaner', it has been claimed.

Thrilled 'Nessie' hunters eaten by gigantic lizard

FIVE 'Nessie hunters' have been killed and eaten after a thrilling encounter with a giant aquatic lizard.

Major says SNP like Edwina Currie but without the raw sexual energy

FORMER prime minister John Major has claimed the SNP is like Edwina Currie, but in a bad way.

Pink hair people launch their manifesto

PEOPLE with pink hair have issued a document explaining who they are and what they want.

Open plan restaurants ‘not delivering enough chef carnage’

CHEFS working in open plan kitchens should have more amusing painful mishaps, according to restaurant customers.

Sturgeon unveils manifesto for undiscovered planets

SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon has set out her plans for the entire universe.