ALI DIZAEI: WHERE HE WENT WRONG

Image

SHAMED police chief Ali Dizaei's attempt to frame an innocent man was littered with 'schoolboy errors', his former colleagues said last night.

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AMERICA DIVIDED OVER WATERBOARDING OF CHILDREN

ImageTHE arrest of a US soldier accused of sticking his daughter's head in a sink has sparked a national debate over when it is acceptable to water-board a child.

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BRANGELINA SPLIT FORETOLD IN BOOK OF ISIAH

ImagePASSAGES in the Old Testament predict the current relationship problems between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, according to a leading academic.

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YES, ETHEL AUSTIN WAS STILL GOING, SAY ADMINISTRATORS

ImageADMINISTRATORS were last night called in to retail chain Ethel Austin, as thousands insisted it definitely went out of business no later than 1961.

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TEA PARTY ENDS WITH TRADITIONAL THROWING OF THE FAECES

ImageTHE American Tea Party movement closed its convention yesterday with a traditional throwing of freshly deposited faeces.

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CAPELLO OPTIMISTIC AS ENGLAND DRAW NARNIA

ImageFABIO Capello was in buoyant mood last night after England were drawn against the mythical land of Narnia in the 2012 European qualifiers.

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THE NEWS IN PICTURES



Toyota owners get extra week
to drive like fucking maniacs

 


Greek finance minister runs
screaming from Gordon Brown
 

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News Briefly


Australia puts out call for fraudsters and safe-crackers
"Or high-end forgers and maybe even some cat burglars - anyone with a proper illegal skill," says immigration minister

Stop hassling Alistair Campbell, say homeless, grieving Iraqis
"All I've had to cope with is losing half my family and having my house flattened twice. I can't imagine the pain of answering some questions on the Andrew Marr programme," says Baghdad shopkeeper
 

Your stars: capricorn

 
fish

This week you arrive at the latest
roundabout in your life. I don't
suppose you could try indicating
for once, you fucking arsehole?


 
 
 

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