Everybody really hates the slate thing, chefs told

NO diner prefers a slab of black rock to a plate, chefs have been informed.

Scottish coffee actually lager

'COFFEE' served in Scottish cafes is actually high strength lager.

Britons embrace fake cycling holidays

THOUSANDS of Britons are hiring specialist image manipulators to simulate exotic cycling trips.

Ozil still trying to get hands on World Cup

ARSENAL midfielder Mesut Ozil has not yet been able to touch the World Cup.

Ocado van spotted outside neighbour's house

THE arrival of an Ocado delivery van outside a suburban home has aroused strong interest among neighbours.

Nitrous chargers to be only lasting relic of human civilisation

DISCARDED laughing gas cylinders will be all that remains of our culture in a million years, according to experts.

Irish name pronounced how it’s written

NEW Irish employee Kyla Burns has surprised her colleagues by revealing there are no hidden letters in her name.

Attention-seeking weather told to grow-up

BRITAIN’S insecure, attention-seeking climate has been told to get a grip.

Israel offers eight-second ceasefire

ISRAEL has reached out to Palestinians with the offer of a ceasefire lasting almost nine seconds.