Leicester City reinforces suspension on bandwagon

LEICESTER City FC has carried out emergency works on its bandwagon following an unprecedented number of passengers.

Man with cold enjoys original and amusing comments about ‘man flu’

A MALE office worker with a cold is excitedly awaiting clever and funny remarks about how he actually has ‘man flu’, it has emerged.

Marvel fan worried about fate of highly lucrative characters

A SUPERHERO fan is concerned that hugely profitable intellectual properties such as Iron Man may not survive in new Marvel film Captain America: Civil War.

Doctors evil, explains Hunt

DOCTORS only do it because they like cutting people up or making them take their clothes off, health secretary Jeremy Hunt has claimed.

Friend of friend turns out to be massive arse

A FRIEND’S friend has revealed himself to be an unmitigated arsehole.

Businesswoman’s credibility undermined by partially faded nightclub stamp

A WOMAN’S otherwise convincing presentation has been undermined by the fading nightclub entry stamp on the back of her hand.

Liverpool fan has only just realised it was 2-2

A LIVERPOOL fan who joined the Anfield ticket prices walkout has just realised that Sunderland scored twice in the last ten minutes.

Memphis Ocelots win Superbowl by eight seconds

AMERICA celebrated last night as the Memphis Ocelots beat the Las Vegas Assholes in Superbowl 50.

Normal people to commandeer the nice bits of hipsters' lifestyles

NORMAL people will be able to commandeer the lifestyle of a local hipster, it has been confirmed.