KENT residents have said they may never trust the earth again after being hit by a 4.2 magnitude earthquake.
LABOUR leadership hopeful Liz Kendall has promised to punch the last surviving British coal miner hard in the face.
OSAMA bin Laden was convinced that the CIA were responsible for the 9/11 attacks despite planning them himself, it has emerged.
A PROFESSOR has entered into a wager that he can make a Scottish National Party MP pass for a gentleman.
YOUR Henry Hoover comes into your bedroom at night and watches you from inches away, researchers have discovered.
TRISTRAM Hunt will not stand in the Labour leadership contest after finding out he was actually a Conservative all along.
A GAY wedding cake has turned some bread rolls gay after being left beside them on a bakery counter.
GEORGE Osborne has sworn his oath of allegiance on the sacred book of the Old Ones of R'lyeh.
IF you can get addicted to something as awful as running you should definitely not try cocaine, according to experts.