MIDDLE class children are asking for large, brightly coloured plastic toys for Christmas that will ruin their parent’s tasteful lifestyle.
A WOMAN who broke up with her boyfriend has been left heartbroken by the loss of his Netflix account.
A MAN has instantly regretted taking an Ecstasy pill at his work Christmas party, it has emerged.
A COUPLE are planning to spend tonight investigating whether it is possible to get seriously drunk on Baileys alone.
OFFICE workers across Britain have confirmed that absolutely nothing of consequence will be done next week.
AN amazing non-conformist has shocked friends and colleagues by revealing his favourite Christmas song is the Pogues’ Fairytale of New York.
MICK Jagger is responsible for 20 percent of all human births, say researchers.
THE secret to living a long, happy life is to be nasty, unintelligent or a combination of the two, research has found.
THE Daily Mail has published the names of all 3,363 Sleaford Labour voters as part of its ongoing catalogue of enemies of the people.