WOMEN with no interest in copulation are bereft following the marriage of their dream man George Clooney.
RYDER Cup fans have been warned that golf is a boring pastime for twats.
DOG enthusiasts have called for stranger and more physically dysfunctional breeds.
ACTOR Stephen Fry has admitted refusing to share his cocaine with a furious Prince Philip.
PUBLIC support for the European Union peaks when it is lording it over the USA, it has emerged.
INCREASINGLY narcissistic Britons only want to have sex with themselves, it has emerged.
THE new FIFA game is so realistic that it knows if players are smokers, drug addicts or closeted homosexuals.
ALEX Salmond has been asked if he would like to run Syria for a bit.
STEVEN Gerrard is responsible not only for Liverpool’s poor start to the season but all war, disease and famine, it has been claimed.