MPs have pledged that voters will never again be given the power to actually change anything.
DAVID Cameron has agreed to let Edinburgh and London take turns running the country.
THE UK has been spared the prospect of a flag that looks like a tattoo on a cretin.
OFFICE joker Stephen Malley has admitted his seemingly spontaneous workplace quips are rigorously workshopped.
ALEX Salmond has voted 'No' to Scottish independence.
MANAGERS have demanded a six-week break for exhausted players who have been at it since as far back as August.
GOLF’S governing body has voted to open its doors to heavily armed Jamaican gangsters.
THE magical land of Brigadoon has melted into the Highland mist.
INTERNET debates can be won by simply inventing evidence, it has been confirmed.