THE parents of 25-year-old Nathan Muir are celebrating their son’s decision to abandon his band for a job in a bank.
EXPERTLY carving a Halloween pumpkin is the new way to demonstrate your virility, men have confirmed.
A SUCCESSFUL City banker has asked everyone to stop suggesting he secretly has a heart of gold.
PUTTING a calorie count on alcohol labels is not annoying or patronising, it has emerged.
STEVEN Gerrard has told Liverpool FC he plans to leave the club and take its fanbase of 71 million with him.
THE Labour party has pledged to renew its unbridled contempt for Scottish voters.
SHOPPERS have told retailers that a ten per cent discount is worthless so they may as well stop pretending otherwise.
BURGER chain McDonald’s has a new slogan emphasising that at least its product is unpretentious.
THE next individual to describe themselves as ‘loving’ this or that can be punched squarely in the face, the government has confirmed.