STATISTICALLY illiterate Britons are being shocked and surprised by percentages that only relate to a tiny number of actual things.
SOUTHAMPTON are to bid for the Premier League using the concept of homeopathy.
THOUSANDS of middle class people are receiving emergency lack of perspective treatment following the cancellation of Secret Cinema.
THE film version of Fifty Shades of Grey was shown by Channel 5 back in 1998, it has emerged.
STRIKER Didier Drogba is dragging himself back to Stamford Bridge to end his days, the club has confirmed.
GUESTS on Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs are actually abandoned on a remote Pacific atoll, the BBC has revealed.
ELDERLY people are to get vital heart exercise from people jumping out of their cupboards dressed as the undead.
SCARCE and highly collectable vinyl records are generally awful, it has emerged.
THE entire population of the UK has moved downstairs to sleep inside the fridge.