SCOTLAND is taking the day off to worship its water dinosaur, it has emerged.
FORMER minister Grant Shapps is being forced to earn a living with his own get-rich-quick schemes.
A 27-YEAR-OLD man has won the World Punching Competition.
ALL the alcohol that was being saved for Christmas has already been drunk.
A SIX-YEAR-OLD is being read the Old Testament as a fairy story by her proudly atheist father.
AN office poser has taken to wearing a scarf throughout the working day, not just when outside.
DAVID Cameron has called on Britain to flatten the last remaining bumpy bits of Syria.
A PAIR of childless, self-satisfied twats are buying their nieces and nephews some art equipment for Christmas.
THE price of any item reduced on Black Friday is whatever it says on the label plus your very soul, retailers have agreed.