Massive cat responds to shooing with icy glare

A HUGE cat has responded to attempts to evict it from a garden with cold indifference.

Man best at punching

A 27-YEAR-OLD man has won the World Punching Competition.

Tennis fans on Pimm’s rampage

BRITISH tennis fans have run amok after the Davis Cup, downing jugs of winter Pimms and demanding plate after plate of olives.

Millions pretend to have gone on climate march

RECORD numbers of Britons are passionately pretending to have marched against climate change.

Shapps forced to use own get-rich-quick schemes

FORMER minister Grant Shapps is being forced to earn a living with his own get-rich-quick schemes.

‘Saint Andrew’ just another name for Loch Ness monster

SCOTLAND is taking the day off to worship its water dinosaur, it has emerged.

Christmas booze already finished

ALL the alcohol that was being saved for Christmas has already been drunk.

Atheist child being read Bible as fairy tale

A SIX-YEAR-OLD is being read the Old Testament as a fairy story by her proudly atheist father.

Office git wearing scarf at desk

AN office poser has taken to wearing a scarf throughout the working day, not just when outside.