ALL other canned drinks regard San Pellegrino as a smug prick with a stupid foil hat, it has emerged.
THE best thing at Glastonbury was getting smashed in your tent, it has emerged.
ENGLISH men are not as good at playing football as English women, it has been confirmed.
54-YEAR-OLD plumber Tom Booker has grudgingly complimented the physiques of Gay Pride participants.
WIMBLEDON fortnight has begun amid sunshine and the imminent collapse of everything.
BRITAIN'S convertible owners are set to enjoy the 72 hour annual period where they do not feel idiotic for buying it.
A MANAGER is under the impression that outside of work he somehow stops being a prick.
A MIDDLE-AGED visionary has launched an offline service called ‘pub’, which allows friends to interact in a building.
THE Dalai Lama is looking forward to his weekend at the anti-capitalist Glastonbury Festival where organic burgers are just £12.