A FAMILY’S Waitrose food delivery contained a massive loudmouthed spider with old-fashioned sexist views.
LABOUR leader Ed Miliband is still technically on work experience and has yet to receive a wage.
A GROUP of conference attendees making strained conversation at the bar have realised that they are networking.
CONCEITED rocker Bono has announced plans for a free gift of a turd among your socks.
A MAN who was trapped in a Waterstones has had an idea for a novel.
YOUR behaviour when you are drunk represents your true personality, scientists have confirmed.
GHOSTS are a load of bollocks, it has been confirmed.
A GOVERNMENT minister has urged disabled people to rent out their wheelchairs when they are not sitting in them.
ATTACHING Russell Brand to a big cross would probably sort everything out, it has been claimed.