ANDY Murray's fiancee has dismissed her expletive-filled tirade against his Australian Open semi-final opponent as nothing compared to when she steps in catshit.
CLASSY supermarket Waitrose has completely lost it after everyone took the piss with its free hot drinks.
LONDON'S Natural History Museum will remove a fat-shaming dinosaur exhibit, it has confirmed.
THE spin-off from hit drama Breaking Bad is a documentary about the flora and fauna of the New Mexico desert, its producers have revealed.
UKIP is courting the vote of immigrants who hate what they see in the mirror, it has confirmed.
A CAT has clawed its way out of a shallow grave and returned home to terrify its delighted owner.
AN earthquake centred in Rutland has left Midlands towns a bleak, devastated, landscape of nothing but Poundstretchers and Costa Coffees.
DOZENS of referees, players and public officials have been rounded up as part of the investigation into a conspiracy against big Premier League clubs.
ACROSS the UK, millions of people are earning second incomes by turning their bodies into 24-hour mucus production facilities.