BENEDICT Cumberbatch has been confirmed to play football pundit Alan Hansen in a forthcoming biopic.
THE new horror-themed trailer for EastEnders marks a permanent change of direction for the show, the BBC has announced.
SELF-STYLED African football fan Tom Logan has annoyed work colleagues by repeatedly making references to Equatorial Guinea.
THOUSANDS of Britons have been maimed after buying hawks on a whim, it has emerged.
ED Miliband is to have his lungs removed, put in an ape and then returned to him to show how keen on the NHS he is.
MOTHER of three Nikki Hollis was given £10 by a stranger to leave her local pub and take her kids with her.
RAIL bosses have given up trying to control their trains and have set them free to roam wild.
COMFORTABLY-OFF socialists in the UK have expressed concern that Alexis Tsipras appears to live without lots of nice things.
PEOPLE under 30 are to be banned from achieving any kind of success.