ADMINISTRATOR Wayne Hayes is eagerly waiting to feel the benefits of Britain’s robust economic growth.
PC TOM Logan is determined to keep busting people for having tiny amounts of cannabis because he is a tosser.
RETAILER Topshop is to replace its controversial slender mannequins with skeletons.
A MAN is suing Google for persistently misrepresenting him as an affluent, cultured individual.
SOME children in a park have offered to take Sergio Ramos, if Real Madrid agrees to take a chunky boy in wellies and Dean’s little brother who’s got asthma.
Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) This week you'll be unable to shake the image of Andy Burnham taking off his eyebrows at night and putting them in a little silver case.
SUMMER has decided to end suddenly for artistic reasons, it has confirmed.
BRITAIN’S hard left consists of a 67 year-old former teacher who likes to collect different types of tea.
NEIGHBOURS of a man in Stevenage have confirmed that Roy Hobbs has completed 10 years of hammering the absolute shit out of something in his house.