Your dad could still have you in a fight

MODERN men have been warned that their fathers could easily kick the shit out of them.

Harrison Ford: “I'll stop when I've ruined all of my films”

The announcement of a Blade Runner sequel, starring me, has sparked debate about whether it can live up to the original. It won't.

Jihadi John 'used to be a schoolboy'

BRITAIN is recoiling from news that 'Jihadi John' was, from the age of six to 18, a child who attended school.

Miliband unveils massively stupid idea

ED Miliband will take money from pensioners so he can bribe students who are going to vote Labour anyway.

Old lady sent to care home after fall

MADONNA’S family has made the difficult decision to send her to Rydean Manor residential care home in Sussex.

Unchecked immigration will lead to economic growth, warn experts

ECONOMISTS have warned that unless immigration is drastically reduced the UK faces the biggest boom since the 1980s.

The Mash guide to BDSM

IT'S the underground sex craze that's gone overground, with bondage on Country File and vicars theming their sermons around butt plugs.

'Jihadi John' hoping ISIS okay with people being unmasked

PSYCHOTIC terrorist ‘Jihadi John’ is hoping ISIS does not have strict rules about maintaining anonymity.

Earth distances itself from Green Party

THE planet has confirmed that it does not support the Greens or want them to be encouraged.