ANGELINA Jolie and Brad Pitt have confirmed that their sex life is over and done by announcing their marriage.
BRITAIN cheered last night as Mary Berry told a hipster to get the hell off her television programme.
THE prime minister has complained that Cornish surfing is dominated by a clique of wealthy public schoolboys.
UKIP voters have insisted they did not sign up for a party that was going to include politicians who could almost pass for normal.
ARSENE Wenger has reluctantly re-introduced calcium to his team's diet after Olivier Giroud broke a tibia.
The UK’s foremost authorities on privacy law have refused to confirm their availability for a working lunch next Friday.
LONDON’S tallest building has become Europe’s biggest branch of Cancer Research.
HELLO Kitty is a vengeful cat-human hybrid that feeds on livers, it has been confirmed.
WORKERS who demand to be paid are missing out on valuable opportunities to showcase themselves and add to their CVs, it has been claimed.