Salmond votes ‘No’

ALEX Salmond has voted 'No' to Scottish independence.

Unst may separate from Shetland Islands

THE third largest of the Shetland Islands has threatened to launch its own bid for independence if the islands separate from an independent Scotland.

Andy Murray offers to fund Scottish pension system

ANDY Murray has backed Scottish independence and offered to pay the country’s state pensions when everything goes to hell.

Internet argument won by making things up

INTERNET debates can be won by simply inventing evidence, it has been confirmed.

Greg Norman's zombie apocalypse

IF you get bitten by a walker and don't immediately chop the infected area off, you'll turn within 12 hours. Every golfer knows that.

Chelsea to sign 'next Messi' the moment he's born

CHELSEA is to pounce for a Romanian labelled ‘the next Lionel Messi’ as soon as his umbilical cord is cut.

Unemployment falls as IDS opens pie shop

A FALL in unemployment may be connected to Iain Duncan Smith’s new pie shop in central London.

Scotland goes full Scottish

SCOTLAND’S independence referendum has finally caused the country to go full Scottish.

Could we be owned by normal people? ask cats

CATS have asked for a change in policy so they can be owned by people who are not weird.