New dog realises he is there to make or break relationship

A NEWLY adopted dog is realising he has been brought in to prevent a break-up.

Utter lunatics taking their kids to a festival

A PAIR of deranged maniacs are going to take their children to a music festival while their friends stand back and let them.

Woman who keeps voting Tory can't work out why public services are shit

A WOMAN who keeps voting for Conservative governments cannot understand why her local services are terrible.

Corbyn admits there are serious flaws with Britain's voters

JEREMY Corbyn had admitted that Labour’s Copeland loss means they can no longer ignore the serious flaws of Britain’s electorate.

Only even numbers of fruit and vegetables are healthy, experts declare

NUTRITIONISTS have claimed eating two, four, six, or eight portions of fruit and vegetables every day is healthy, but eating one, three, five, or seven could be fatal.

Trump is on glue, confirms White House

THE White House has confirmed that President Donald Trump is on glue.

Even funny pie stories now ending in abject misery

EVEN funny stories about a fat man eating a pie now end in the ruination of everyone involved, it has been confirmed.

‘Who needs MPs?’ says UKIP

UKIP have responded to the Stoke by-election defeat by saying they do not need MPs because everyone does what they want anyway.

Who needs Bowie when we have Ed Sheeran? asks younger generation

TEENAGERS have declared themselves privileged to live in the golden age of music represented by flame-haired genius Ed Sheeran.