ALL the alcohol that was being saved for Christmas has already been drunk.
A SIX-YEAR-OLD is being read the Old Testament as a fairy story by her proudly atheist father.
AN office poser has taken to wearing a scarf throughout the working day, not just when outside.
DAVID Cameron has called on Britain to flatten the last remaining bumpy bits of Syria.
A PAIR of childless, self-satisfied twats are buying their nieces and nephews some art equipment for Christmas.
THE price of any item reduced on Black Friday is whatever it says on the label plus your very soul, retailers have agreed.
THE Labour Party has agreed to vote on Syria next week and then ‘knock it on the head’.
CANNABIS users have explained the brain damage they suffer is the only thing that gets them through the same episode of Friends for the 12th time.
A ROBIN has described its intense dislike of everything associated with Christmas.