MPs have pledged that voters will never again be given the power to actually change anything.
ALEX Salmond has voted 'No' to Scottish independence.
DAVID Cameron has agreed to let Edinburgh and London take turns running the country.
INTERNET debates can be won by simply inventing evidence, it has been confirmed.
THE UK has been spared the prospect of a flag that looks like a tattoo on a cretin.
CATS have asked for a change in policy so they can be owned by people who are not weird.
THE magical land of Brigadoon has melted into the Highland mist.
GOLF’S governing body has voted to open its doors to heavily armed Jamaican gangsters.
OFFICE joker Stephen Malley has admitted his seemingly spontaneous workplace quips are rigorously workshopped.