A BLACK Friday shopper has stopped hitting a pensioner so she can take in the atmosphere.
AN unemployed, single and homeless man is racing against time to sort his life out before seeing his relatives for Christmas.
PUBLIC health officials have advised the public to stop eating chicken while pecking the microphone and squawking intermittently.
POLICEMEN have admitted they enjoy Typhoo tea, the comedian Jethro and Sweet & Spicy Pot Noodles.
THE ‘fog’ currently enveloping Bristol has a strong aroma of cannabis, it has been claimed.
THE commission on new powers for Scotland has unveiled a camel with nine legs, seven humps and 13 buttocks.
THE new Jurassic Park sequel features no peril because of improved health and safety at the dinosaur park.
ED Miliband has revealed that he is struggling to keep up with his packed diary of PR blunders.
PEOPLE who claim to be perfectionists are just moody bastards, it has emerged.