A MIDDLE-aged man has purchased the functional sweater he will wear repeatedly until death.
A GRANDMOTHER has revealed she much prefers spending time with her iPad than with her two grandchildren.
NEXT year’s EU referendum will offer voters the chance to relaunch the Second World War.
A MAN who made a point of drinking water in between each pint of beer did not impress anyone, it has been confirmed.
Of all the painters with 'van' in their name, the most gifted is unquestionably Van Morrison.
Aries (21 MAR-19 APRIL) With the nights starting to draw in, you'll be able to spend more and more time lurking in your neighbour's hedge undetected.
BRITAIN has agreed that this week is a total waste of everyone's time.
A PETTY credit card company has started asking for repayments after 30 days of being real sports about it.
JEREMY Corbyn’s lack of a plan to invade Iraq would spell disaster for Labour, Tony Blair has claimed.