MICROSOFT'S Xbox One heralds the dawn of a new era in sitting on your fat lazy backside.
BRITAIN is to be detached from the Earth's crust and moved away from Europe.
CAR and bike owners have agreed that they hate people who travel on foot.
PATIENTS have asked doctors' receptionists if they can please stop looking at them like that.
GAY marriage could force Britain to read about a newly married lesbian queen opening a hospital, it has emerged.
APPLE'S diehard fans are queuing outside the company's stores eager to snap-up the latest beautifully designed way of avoiding tax.
FORMER Premier League players have joined forces to fight crime in exotic locations.
BRITAIN'S gay men and women have defied angry Tories by taking their gayness to a new and hotter level.
CHILDREN should be warned about Femail Today as soon they have access to the internet, it has been claimed.