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BRITISH Muslim women should trade their Burkas for the jeans, blazers and incongruous hair favoured by the hosts of Top Gear, it was claimed last night.
BRITAIN'S craziest, half-blind, octogenarian heart surgeon was looking
forward to returning to work last night after the government abolished
retirement.
ANDY Murray has announced that he will no longer be using a racket during tennis matches.
BRITAIN'S experiment with 24-hour drinking would have succeeded if the
country was not filled to the brim with the worst people in the world,
it was claimed last night.
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Children's Corner
With Jimmy Conway
and Tommy Devito
Once upon a time, two very
naughty men thought it might
be a good idea to start shaking
down the regulars on my rounds.
Long story short, Tommy and
myself went down there with
a few friends of ours...
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"My bitch better have my money," says retired headmistress Margaret Gerving
It's okay, we'll just drill for loads more oil, says BP
"Is there anywhere in particular you would like us to comprehensively destroy?" asks cheerfully optimistic oil giant
Your stars: scorpio
No matter how irreplaceable
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substituted by a lookalike
for a third of the cost.
A Welsh lookalike, no less.
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