Syria-bound family just really hated Stoke

MEMBERS of a British family headed for Syria have confirmed they were just sick of the Midlands.

Pink hair people launch their manifesto

PEOPLE with pink hair have issued a document explaining who they are and what they want.

Sherwood launches 'mind banter' campaign against Wenger

TIM Sherwood will forego traditional cup final 'mind games' in favour of subtly inferring that Arsene Wenger is unable to down a pint.

Sturgeon unveils manifesto for undiscovered planets

SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon has set out her plans for the entire universe.

EU taxpayers okay with not letting people drown

FINDING some room for migrants is preferable to letting them drown, EU taxpayers have stressed.

Key to relationships is dumping the other person first

RELATIONSHIPS are about dumping your partner before they can dump you, it has been claimed.

Miliband: ‘I will deliver for drunk women’

ED Miliband has unveiled a raft of policies aimed at drunk women after high-level talks with a hen party.

Local newsagent has spectacular amount of pornography

A LOCAL newsagent has an astounding array of pornographic magazines, it has emerged.

Young non-voter simply cannot be arsed

A 21-YEAR-OLD student has refused to make any tiresome excuses for not voting.