It’s just a bit of fun, says soulless, hate-filled editor of Daily Mail

DAILY Mail editor Paul Dacre insisted his ‘legs-it’ front page was ‘a bit of fun’ in a voice that made everyone think of a derelict Victorian hospital.

Worried Britons notice opposite of everything May says is true

THE exact opposite of anything Theresa May says is correct, concerned Britons have realised.

Scientists confirm we are all living in Ed Sheeran's dream

OUR reality is just a dream in the mind of sleeping Ed Sheeran, it has been confirmed.

Butler from On The Buses to guest-edit Daily Mail

CHEEKY 70s bus driver Stan Butler has been appointed guest editor of the Daily Mail.

Kids allowed on term time holidays if they bring back cheap fags and some Grappa

CHILDREN will be allowed to travel abroad during term time as long as they bring back booze and fags for teachers.

Man whose house has gone up in value thinks he's a brilliant businessman

A MAN who has benefited from constantly rising property prices somehow believes it is due to his excellent business skills.

Regret spreading across face of woman who just bit into Creme Egg

A WOMAN'S excitement at eating a Creme Egg is visibly turning to remorse.

No-one surprised to discover strange colleague was homeschooled

WORKERS have expressed no surprise that their strange new colleague was educated by his parents.

Nobody believes woman is time traveller from an hour ago

A WOMAN who has time-travelled by an hour is struggling to convince colleagues that she is from the past.