EVERYBODY in the UK would like to know precisely what the actual fuck, it has been confirmed.
THE EU referendum was a marketing gimmick for a big-budget American science fiction film, it has emerged.
GEORGE Osborne is being turned into Rowan Atkinson by the stress of Brexit, it has been confirmed.
MILLIONS of Britons are furious that they were allowed to vote on leaving the EU, they have announced.
PRO-EU voters in London now believe the country’s rural communities are filled with utterly terrifying rednecks.
THE European Union has praised Britain for the calm, efficient way it has dealt with the aftermath of the referendum.
THE number of old ladies being helped to cross British streets has plummeted since Friday.
SOMEONE has briefly changed the subject, it has been confirmed.
MUD-COVERED Glastonbury wretches have agreed it is best if the festival is held in a big sports hall from now on.