Social media 'distorts truth' says man who used bus covered in lies

SOCIAL media 'distorts' the truth, according to a man who duped millions of people with a big red bus covered in deliberate lies.

Friends have no idea how to comfort woman who doesn't drink

FRIENDS of a woman going through a personal crisis have no idea how to help her without using alcohol.

'Limited edition' products guaranteed to attract twats

ANYTHING ‘limited edition’, whether a sports car or a Snickers, attracts the high-spending twat demographic like moths to a flame, marketers have confirmed.

Health experts confirm smug coffee drinking bastards were right

EVANGELISTS for the wonders of coffee have become even more intolerable after scientists confirmed it is good for your health.

If you're all so poor, how come the pubs are so bloody full? by Philip Hammond

You people magically pluck banknotes from the air to drink solidly from six till midnight. You're walking bloody economic miracles.

Milton Keynes told to ditch European Capital of Culture bid but not because of Brexit

MILTON Keynes has been advised its European Capital of Culture bid would be unsuccessful even if Britain stayed in the EU and paid £350m a day.

Shops think you want a Christmas sandwich

SUPERMARKETS are convinced that customers want unpleasant Christmas sandwiches that are a mockery of festive food, it has emerged.

‘Intuitive’ woman able to sense the incredibly obvious

A WOMAN believes she has a gift for ‘reading’ social situations that are completely obvious to everyone, she has revealed.

Robert Mugabe’s leaving party an awkward affair

ATTENDEES of the after-work drinks party thrown for  Robert Mugabe have agreed that the atmosphere was 'beyond awkward'.