Smug twats planning to give art stuff to other people's children

A PAIR of childless, self-satisfied twats are buying their nieces and nephews some art equipment for Christmas.

Syria vote to be last thing Labour Party does

THE Labour Party has agreed to vote on Syria next week and then ‘knock it on the head’.

Everything on Black Friday costs your soul

THE price of any item reduced on Black Friday is whatever it says on the label plus your very soul, retailers have agreed.

RAF to look for any unbombed bits of Syria

DAVID Cameron has called on Britain to flatten the last remaining bumpy bits of Syria.

Corbyn 'more of a Pol Pot guy'

JEREMY Corbyn has apologised after the shadow chancellor quoted Mao in the Commons yesterday, clarifying that he always preferred Pol Pot.

Robin f**king hates Christmas

A ROBIN has described its intense dislike of everything associated with Christmas.

Leicester’s secret is not playing any good teams

THE KEY to Leicester City’s success is to avoid playing anyone decent, it has been confirmed.

Buy-to-let landlords just in it for the twisted power trip

BRITAIN’S middle class landlords have admitted that they are just like Walter White from Breaking Bad.

Man views every minor inconvenience as sign terrorists have won

NOT being allowed to take a backpack into the National Gallery is proof that terrorism has won, it has been claimed.