MPs have pledged that voters will never again be given the power to actually change anything.
DAVID Cameron has agreed to let Edinburgh and London take turns running the country.
THE UK has been spared the prospect of a flag that looks like a tattoo on a cretin.
ALEX Salmond has voted 'No' to Scottish independence.
GOLF’S governing body has voted to open its doors to heavily armed Jamaican gangsters.
OFFICE joker Stephen Malley has admitted his seemingly spontaneous workplace quips are rigorously workshopped.
THE magical land of Brigadoon has melted into the Highland mist.
MANAGERS have demanded a six-week break for exhausted players who have been at it since as far back as August.
INTERNET debates can be won by simply inventing evidence, it has been confirmed.