Royal wedding off after Meghan realises Harry not Ed Sheeran

THE royal wedding has been cancelled after Meghan Markle discovered Harry is not actually Ed Sheeran.

Roads full of men with strong but conflicting opinions about how to drive on ice

MEN all know exactly how to drive on ice but strongly disagree about how it's done, it has emerged.

Story of journey to work told as if it were epic Viking saga

A MAN’S difficult journey through snow and ice to work has already taken on all the epic qualities of a Viking saga, colleagues have confirmed. 

May confirms 'sense of optimism' actually means 'never-ending sea of piss'

THERESA May has confirmed the Brexit negotiations continue to be a ‘gigantic sea of piss’.

Men remain awkwardly divided over man hugs

MEN are split over where a full embrace is really an appropriate way to greet other males.

Kid with sledge happily sets off to fracture ankle in two places

A 10-YEAR-OLD boy has set off with his sledge for a magical day that will end in A & E with a broken ankle.

Once-a-year drinkers to be mentored by seasoned piss artists

CHRISTMAS drinkers struggling to handle their alcohol intake are to be mentored by proper booze hounds.

Otherwise intelligent man believes he is good at betting on sport

A SEEMINGLY rational man has boasted about his talent for gambling on sporting events.

Man turns fun snowman into pathetic ego trip

NO ONE is quite sure what a man was trying to prove by building a ridiculously large and detailed snowman.