‘Piss off, you hipster git’ says Mary Berry

BRITAIN cheered last night as Mary Berry told a hipster to get the hell off her television programme.

Paid work is a poor career choice, say employers

WORKERS who demand to be paid are missing out on valuable opportunities to showcase themselves and add to their CVs, it has been claimed.

Can I have my free golliwog now? asks Carswell

THE Tory MP who defected to UKIP has asked when he gets his free golliwog.

DVLA getting kids to make tax discs

THE DVLA has a team of seven-year-old girls making its tax discs using colourful card and glitter.

Man United to become MK Mancs

FOLLOWING the successful example of MK Dons, Manchester United is to set up in the same town under the name MK Mancs.

Australia wants to get its war on

AUSTRALIA has said it is willing to join bombing missions in Iraq, or anywhere else, because it loves a good fight.

Zombie Celtic killed with fire

NK MARIBOR has finally put an end to Celtic's Champions League campaign by removing its players' heads and burning their remains.

Mafia ‘in awe’ of UK train companies

A GROUP of New York mobsters has visited Britain to get tips on exploitation from train companies.

Ryanair ‘business class’ just ticket for different airline

RYANAIR has introduced ‘business class’ by selling tickets for proper airlines.