WITH his re-election as Labour leader a certainty, Jeremy Corbyn has admitted he is only performing hopelessly to annoy rival Owen Smith.
BANK holiday traffic chaos has hit the UK, with tens of thousands of motorists following each other in neat lines at low speed while obeying all laws of the road.
FIRST-TIME buyers have been urged to start looking at buying property on Proxima B.
THE MAJORITY of the crowd at the Perth Masters darts tournament have no idea that there is a darts tournament being played, they have confirmed.
THE NHS will be an illegal underground network of flooded black-market hospitals manned by sinister masked surgeons by 2020, it has emerged.
THE parents of a 16-year-old who failed his GCSEs are overjoyed with the reward money they have saved.
NIGEL Farage has told an audience of Trump supporters that the power to completely devastate the nation they live in is in their hands.
A DISAPPOINTED British racist cannot find anyone bearded enough to get them thrown off his flight to Majorca.
A MAN’S third pint explained in a friendly but firm voice that he would be staying out for the rest of the evening, it has emerged.