Beach breaks ruined by refugees’ unbreakable human spirit

BRITISH tourists on the Greek island of Kos are having their holidays spoiled by refugees' stubborn desire to live.

Blatter unveils enormous gonads

SEPP Blatter has confirmed he has quite tremendously huge testicles.

Restaurant couple clearly on a voucher

A COMMON-LOOKING couple in a fancy restaurant were only there because of an internet voucher, according to fellow diners.

The Mash guide to the Queen's Speech

THE Queen has outlined the evil plans of the new Conservative government, but how will they affect you?

FIFA’s ball confiscated

THE ball used for the World Cup has been confiscated.

Identity of mystery Virgin tycoon revealed

THE reclusive tycoon at head of the Virgin corporation has been revealed as ‘Richard Branson’.

Magic mushrooms help to hallucinate home ownership

MAGIC mushrooms could help people to hallucinate they are on the property ladder.

New species was man’s earliest annoying relative

ARCHAEOLOGISTS have unearthed bones of man’s first annoying relatives, who were always turning up at his cave on weekends.

Ask Holly: Why can't people just shut up?

YOUR pompous authoritarian ways make you a prime candidate for ridicule.