THE ‘fog’ currently enveloping Bristol has a strong aroma of cannabis, it has been claimed.
THE commission on new powers for Scotland has unveiled a camel with nine legs, seven humps and 13 buttocks.
THE new Jurassic Park sequel features no peril because of improved health and safety at the dinosaur park.
ED Miliband has revealed that he is struggling to keep up with his packed diary of PR blunders.
PEOPLE who claim to be perfectionists are just moody bastards, it has emerged.
CHELSEA is the one football club in Europe not presently descending into chaos, it has been confirmed.
KILLER seals are attempting to engage police in pseudo-intellectual cat-and-mouse games.
ANGRY men have told Tesco to remove signs implying toys are for children.
SCOTLAND to tax its millionaires because they could never find anywhere nicer to live.