UK could have driverless government by 2020, say experts

TECH experts have confirmed that the UK could have a driverless government as soon as 2020.

Tom Hardy had no idea man was a thief

A MAN chased down and beaten by Tom Hardy luckily turned out to be some sort of thief, the actor has amazedly admitted.

UKIP members ‘must integrate with society’

UKIP supporters can only flourish in modern society by breaking out of their closed communities of aging bigots, experts believe.

Who the f**k is buying these spinning tops, say internet users

INTERNET users want to know who exactly the fuck is buying these titanium spinning tops that are advertised on every website.

Woman to get through Tuesday by reminding herself it’s nearly Wednesday

AN OFFICE worker is struggling through Tuesday by focusing on making it to Wednesday, after which  there are only two more days until the weekend.

Working dogs absolutely despise non-working dogs

WORKING dogs spend most of their days discussing how lazy and entitled non-working dogs are, it has emerged.

Theresa May calls snap FA Cup Final

THE prime minister has announced that the FA Cup final will be played next weekend in the national interest.

Office f**ked without the one woman who knows what she’s doing

AN office is in meltdown because the one member of staff who understands how everything works has taken the day off.

Gran who doesn’t understand politics really impressed by Theresa May

A WOMAN who mostly ignores politics thinks Theresa May is a wonderful person doing her best in difficult circumstances.