A PAINTER and decorator has offered to replace the two Damien Hirst artworks stolen from an art gallery.
CONSUMERS have been warned about fashionable 'bad jumpers' which contain too many layers of irony.
SURVIVORS of the London fog have revealed that 'some bad, freaky shit is happening in there'.
A COUPLE have won the legal right to be married in a British Scientology chapel, allowing Tom Cruise to be a best man for the 3,814th time.
POTHEADS have been frantically booking flights after hearing about Uruguay's weed/dolphins combination.
NASA scientists have concocted a story about 'Mark the microbe' to make Mars sound interesting.
FACEBOOK has launched a feature allowing users to express pleasure when friends post bad news.
THE Guardian newspaper has launched its annual appeal to make you feel dreadful about Christmas.
MANCHESTER United manager David Moyes said the team’s dismal form is the sort of thing that happens to him all the time.