How to organise a shit Christmas do

CHRISTMAS would not be complete without a traditionally shit workplace bash, but how should you go about organising one? Read our guide.

37-year-old woman thinks DJs are cool

A WOMAN in her late thirties still believes DJs are cool, it has emerged.

The David Davis guide to being cunning like a fox

I AM David Davis MP, world-class negotiator and hero of Brexit, and these are my infallible strategies for outwitting any opponent.

New Star Wars features shaved Chewbacca

NEW Star Wars film The Last Jedi promises the first sight of Chewbacca shaven completely bare. 

Office brainstorming session produces nothing but evil thoughts

A GATHERING of workers to generate business ideas only produced dark and twisted visions, it has emerged.

Guardian family makes gender-neutral snow-being

A GUARDIAN-LOVING family has made a snow individual who is not constrained by gender boundaries.

Why I hate millennials even though I raised two of them

MY KIDS are entitled little shits who are only interested in taking selfies with cat ears superimposed on them.

Which drugs should I buy my family this Christmas?

WITH Christmas fast approaching, it can be hard to know which drugs to get your loved ones.

Royal wedding off after Meghan realises Harry not Ed Sheeran

THE royal wedding has been cancelled after Meghan Markle discovered Harry is not actually Ed Sheeran.