Pompous arse taking tough stance on Greece

COMPLETE nobody Roy Hobbs is demanding tough action be taken against Greece.

We’ve all f**ked up at some point, Britain tells Bassett

BRITONS are confessing their cock-ups in a show of solidarity with footballer Laura Bassett.

London to have its own national anthem

LONDON is to have its own national anthem to mark its status as an entirely separate place from England.

Child poverty was invented for Oliver! says IDS

CHILD poverty was created by Lionel Bart for the 1968 musical Oliver!, the work and pensions secretary has claimed.

Ask Holly: Should I have her sacked, stop her benefits or both?

MY card was declined in error and my beloved serving wench witnessed the whole thing.

Sacked Pearson swears revenge on ostriches

AXED Leicester City manager Nigel Pearson has blamed a "shadowy ostrich cabal" for his dismissal.

Attractive people enjoying not having to be funny

ATTRACTIVE people thoroughly enjoy not having to be funny or interesting, they have revealed.

Protein World poster ‘just a standard piece-of-shit advert’

THE controversial Protein World poster is no more tawdry, exploitative and depressing than the rest of advertising, according to industry watchdogs.

Other cans think San Pellegrino is an arsehole

ALL other canned drinks regard San Pellegrino as a smug prick with a stupid foil hat, it has emerged.