England demands English votes for French laws

ENGLISH voters have demanded the right to sort out the French once and for all.

Tena is coolest brand

INCONTINENCE specialist Tena has been vote the UK’s coolest brand.

Wales votes 'yes' to rudeness

WALES has voted overwhelmingly to carry on being rude to visitors.

Van Gaal calls for an end to numbers in football

LOUIS van Gaal has claimed that football must be freed from the shackles of maths.

OKCupid profile clearly copied from LinkedIn

SINGLETON Tom Booker has filled in his online dating profile with information about his professional skills and employment history.

Earth hates Sting

PLANET Earth has confirmed that it really does not like Sting.

NASA to send silverback gorillas into space

AMERICA'S new series of space missions will be manned by silverback gorillas.

Westminster vows never to allow vote on anything that matters ever again

MPs have pledged that voters will never again be given the power to actually change anything.

Salmond votes ‘No’

ALEX Salmond has voted 'No' to Scottish independence.