SOUP is continuing to insist it is a main course despite barely functioning as a starter.
THE vanguard of Russell Brand’s revolution will be people who are out of their minds, it has been confirmed.
THE winner of this year’s Apprentice will fill in Lord Sugar’s job applications while he watches daytime TV, the BBC has admitted.
DAVID Cameron has told British tourists to recoup the UK’s £2 billion EU surcharge by stealing things from continental hotels.
ANYONE asked to undertake unpaid work can exchange Facebook ‘likes’ for food under a new government initiative.
A NEW TV remote has no buttons that completely fuck up the television.
MARIO Balotelli has explained he swapped shirts with Real Madrid at half-time to go undercover and win the game for Liverpool.
A TIME capsule containing the Ebola virus, a bent iPhone 6 and a UKIP manifesto has been buried as a warning to future humans.
IT is quite simple, there is a list of gits and you vote for one.