Bombing Libya then f**king off was the responsible thing to do, says Cameron

DAVID Cameron has insisted bombing Libya and then forgetting about it was an act of statesmanship.

HSBC in talks with Somalia’s pirate king

HSBC is to move its HQ from London and is considering an offer from the pirate king of Somalia.

Cameron admits the United Kingdom is a terrible idea

THE union between England and Scotland is stupid and wrong, David Cameron has finally admitted.

Royal baby watchers booing non-royal babies

CROWDS outside St Mary’s Hospital in West London have been hurling abuse at any non-royal newborns.

Londoners falling down cool, independent holes

LONDONERS are competing to plunge into quirky, independently-run holes in the pavement.

Real-life Hulk only transforms when on hold to call centres

A MAN who turns into the Hulk has revealed it never happens when he actually needs it.

Boris Johnson both Tory and Labour secret weapon

THE Conservatives and Labour have unveiled Boris Johnson as their secret weapon.

The Scots are the worst bastards, Cameron tells xenophobes

DAVID Cameron has urged England’s xenophobes to focus on Scottish people.

Petition to stop demolition of Glasgow hits 30

A PETITION to stop Glasgow being razed to the ground has reached 30 signatures and is hoping to hit 50 by the weekend.