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A MAN has returned to the office furious at how much work was left undone by his lazy bastard self from a fortnight ago.
MOTHERS do not mind earning a third less because having children is so wonderful, a report has found.
BRITAIN’S girlfriends have confirmed that nothing is wrong, but in a slightly offhand way which suggests that this may not be the case.
A MAN keeps mentioning his children in a way that is clearly meant to make people respect him, it has emerged.
BRITONS are hoping the UK will suffer social and economic chaos if it supports their views on Brexit, they have revealed.
WOMEN are opposed to Nicole Scherzinger, it has been confirmed.
THE delightful new series of The Great British Bake Off will make the rest of 2016 seem like a scary, nasty dream, the BBC has confirmed.
A MIDDLE-CLASS couple who went to V Festival have been left shocked and horrified.