Friendly hug 'turned a bit creepy'
A HUG became creepy after going on too long with an element of hair-touching, it has emerged.
Bronze Age village was furious about Iron Age migrants
THE residents of a Bronze Age village were bitterly opposed to Iron Age migrants from Europe, archaeologists have found.
Supermarket queue desperately awaiting dividers
A SUPERMARKET queue is becoming unbearably tense due to a shortage of dividers.
Voodoo Ray confirmed as English National Anthem
THE chanting bit from rave classic Voodoo Ray by A Guy Called Gerald will be sung at international sporting events, it has been confirmed.
Coldness confirmed during neighbour climate summit
NEIGHBOURS have confirmed the recent drop in temperature during a top level over-the-fence meeting.
Millions of unsold Creme Eggs about to hatch
MILLIONS of unsold Creme Eggs are about to break open and release the hideous monsters inside, scientists have confirmed.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Taurus (20 APRIL–20 MAY) On Thursday your excitement about Making A Murderer ends when you realise it isn’t a fortnightly partwork magazine where the first issue costs just 99p.
Junior doctors give up protest because they’re so f**king knackered
JUNIOR doctors have abandoned their strike action because they are just so f**king exhausted.
48-year-old audit manager comes to work with lightning bolt make-up
AN AUDIT manager has arrived at the office with a red-and-blue Ziggy Stardust lightning bolt on his face which has yet to be mentioned by anyone.
