Woman cannot be arsed to have a baby

A WOMAN has decided against having children because it is loads of hassle.

Man has amazing ability to know all new music is shit without listening to it

A MAN instinctively knows that all music made since about 2002 is shit without even having to hear it, he has revealed.

Bovis homes turning up in TK Maxx

A NUMBER of Bovis houses have appeared on shelves at TK Maxx after recent damage to the brand.

Millions of Britons 'complacent about their drinking ability'

MANY Britons wrongly assume they can still drink as much as they used to, it has emerged.

NHS told to stop splashing out on fancy operations

THE NHS must stop frittering money on fancy operations with all the latest equipment and drugs, ministers have claimed.

Trump's top adviser is little kid who talks bollocks

DONALD Trump’s closest adviser is a small boy who is the biggest bullshitter in his school, it has emerged.

Dalai Lama claims indifference to getting 50k likes for last status update

THE Dalai Lama has claimed that he is not bothered about getting 50,000 ‘Likes' for his last Facebook post.

Dad breaks 10-hour silence to recommend using the M69

A FATHER did not say a word during a 10-hour family visit until telling his daughter to use the M69.

Bathroom spider breaks unspoken agreement to remain in exact same spot

A SPIDER has broken an unspoken agreement to remain in the same highly visible spot in the bathroom.