Isis pays Mail and Sun for ‘strategic PR services’

ISIS has paid the Sun and the Daily Mail five figure sums for ‘strategic public relations and reputation management’.

Cockroaches following Russian jet story with interest

THE NEXT dominant species on the planet is following the news of a downed Russian jet on the Syria-Turkey border with growing interest.

Lunatic buys shitload of Christmas presents for baby

A MAN has spent a ridiculous amount of money on Christmas gifts for his six month-old son.

Safety conscious cyclists sticking to pavement

CAREFUL bicycle users are increasingly using the pavement as a way to avoid the dangers of the road.

Health advice just assumes nobody does manual work these days

EXPERTS giving out dietary advice believe everyone spends their days sitting down in a nice warm office, it has emerged.

Couple split over imaginary lotto winnings

A HUSBAND and wife are to divorce after arguing about the £72m they did not win on the lottery.

Atheist able to make moral decisions

HUMANS who do not believe in a god still have some morals, it has emerged.

Man believed to be flirting

COLLEAGUES of Tom Logan believe his recent unusual behaviour maybe his attempt to flirt with a woman.

Old gay couple who run rural post office ‘definitely into chemsex’

TWO SEMI-RETIRED gay men who run a village post office are enjoying massive orgies on crystal meth, it has been claimed.