SCIENTISTS are to map the DNA of everyone in Britain in a bid to find out why so many of you are dreadful.
GATWICK has doubled its staff of surly baggage-flingers.
TRADITIONAL village penis pill retailers are facing closure as customers desert them for online competitors.
PEOPLE who go to Burning Man festival have been explaining what it is in a slightly condescending tone.
WORKERS are being coerced into joining complex and tedious fantasy football games.
AN exciting new piece of technology is nowhere near ready and will never come into widespread use.
CHILDREN have moved on from their love for pirates to a fascination with hired killers.
SOFTLY-SPOKEN Paul Scholes will be voiced by Julie Walters when he appears as a pundit on BT Sport.