Trump to become England manager

DONALD Trump will be unveiled as England manager this Saturday, the FA has confirmed.

Train becomes your house when you buy a ticket, say twats

THE train is your house on rails where you can do whatever you like, according to many passengers.

'Modern London' Monopoly only has dark blue properties

A NEW edition of Monopoly has every property, from Old Kent Road to Mayfair, coloured dark blue and priced at the maximum rate.

Man thinks Groove Armada song about sand dunes and shit is a classic

A 38-YEAR-OLD man believes that Groove Armada song about sand dunes and salty air is a classic piece of music.

Labour outlines new Hugely Popular With Voters TBC policy

LABOUR has outlined a new policy which will to appeal to broad swathes of the electorate, the details of which have yet to be confirmed.

Delusional man thinks he’s getting his tenancy deposit back

A DELUSIONAL man thinks he is going to get his deposit back from a private landlord.

Britain wants Jurgen Klopp to be its stepdad

BRITAIN’S football fans have admitted that having Jurgen Klopp as a stepdad would be great.

The Mash guide to the presidential debate

AMERICA’S presidential candidates have clashed on live television - but who won the debate?

Cyclist who stopped at red light questions own manhood

A CYCLIST who failed to ride right through a red light has been left wondering if he is any kind of a man.