ANDY Murray's fiancee has dismissed her expletive-filled tirade against his Australian Open semi-final opponent as nothing compared to when she steps in catshit.
CLASSY supermarket Waitrose has completely lost it after everyone took the piss with its free hot drinks.
LONDON'S Natural History Museum will remove a fat-shaming dinosaur exhibit, it has confirmed.
AN earthquake centred in Rutland has left Midlands towns a bleak, devastated, landscape of nothing but Poundstretchers and Costa Coffees.
A CAT has clawed its way out of a shallow grave and returned home to terrify its delighted owner.
ACROSS the UK, millions of people are earning second incomes by turning their bodies into 24-hour mucus production facilities.
GOING to school is largely a waste of time, according to experts.
A NEW crowdfunding website has been launched to help people who want free money for drugs.
AN idealistic young spammer has become increasingly disillusioned with his profession.