BRITAIN STILL LYING ABOUT HOW DRUNK IT IS

Image

BRITAIN continues to tell the most transparent lies about how much it has had to drink, according to new research.

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MINI LAUNCHES FIRST AIRCRAFT CARRIER

ImageMINI has made its first foray into the lucrative 'crossover' market with the launch of a 115,000 tonne aircraft carrier.

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ENGLAND FANS ATTACK WOMBLES

ImageENGLAND fans gathering in London ahead of tonight's qualifying game against Bulgaria have been involved in running battles with the capital's Womble population.


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I LIKE TO WATCH LADIES UNDRESSING ON THE BEACH, SAYS HAGUE

ImageFOREIGN secretary William Hague has revealed how he likes to stare at women as they strip down to their bikinis.

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CREATION DID NOT INVOLVE CHOCOLATE, CLAIMS HAWKING

ImageTHE creation of the universe did not involve even the tiniest bit of chocolate, according to Professor Stephen Hawking.

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ENERGY FIRMS MAY BE RUN BY SHITS, WARNS OFGEM

ImageSOME of Britain's biggest energy companies may be run by greedy shits, according to the industry watchdog.

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THE NEWS IN PICTURES


Dry weather uncovers Liz Hurley's
old knockers, say archeologists


 

 
Giant plane thinks it's better
than us, says Manchester

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This week, the one 'oo sits
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News Briefly


Blair's book is all about him, say furious right wing commentators
"It is typical of this vain, conceited man to write an autobiography in which he is mentioned on almost every page," declares Max Hastings

Living in some ghastly shithole makes you drink more, say experts
Research finds it may have something to do with a desperate bid to avoid reality.

Your stars: capricorn

 
As the Oxford English Dictionary
goes out of print, you must
now find someone else to
give their official approval
to 'spunkalicious'.

 
 
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