Welshman sentenced to live in London

A WELSH criminal has been sentenced to live in London.

Family dreading plan to ‘do something different’ for Christmas

A MUM’S desire to ‘do something different’ at Christmas has been met with fear and suspicion by her family, it has emerged.

Osborne's attempt to bond with builders ends with threat to have them all killed

GEORGE Osborne has threatened to ‘disappear’ everyone on a building site after they criticised his bricklaying technique.

Woman’s dream meaningless

A 29-YEAR-OLD woman’s bizarre and convoluted dream has no meaning whatsoever, it has been confirmed.

Man deeply in love with his logs

A 43-YEAR-OLD man has become so emotionally attached to the seasoned hardwood logs in his woodshed that he is refusing to let anyone burn them.

Psychic Bob: After your biscuits are stolen you decide to burn down the building

Aries (21 MAR-19 APRIL) After some custard creams are accidentally eaten from your desk today, you have no option but to set fire to the building as a retaliatory measure.

Isis pays Mail and Sun for ‘strategic PR services’

ISIS has paid the Sun and the Daily Mail five figure sums for ‘strategic public relations and reputation management’.

Cockroaches following Russian jet story with interest

THE NEXT dominant species on the planet is following the news of a downed Russian jet on the Syria-Turkey border with growing interest.

Lunatic buys shitload of Christmas presents for baby

A MAN has spent a ridiculous amount of money on Christmas gifts for his six month-old son.