GLASGOW'S Commonwealth Games officials have confirmed that Usain Bolt is a dead man walking.
DAVID Cameron has set up a Cabinet committee to decide if ebola is a bad thing.
BRITONS are expected to vote in favour of opening a box containing unspeakable evil.
A WEDGE of Stilton has returned fully intact from its fifth picnic of the summer.
PIONEERING rugby league players may break with 119 years of tradition to avoid tackles instead of running straight into them.
THE £640m asking price of London's Gherkin building is far more than Gherkins are fetching outside the capital.
IT’S here and it's fine, except that it might render entire counties uninhabitable.
THOUSANDS of middle class people are receiving emergency lack of perspective treatment following the cancellation of Secret Cinema.
SOUTHAMPTON are to bid for the Premier League using the concept of homeopathy.