THE Rochester house covered in England flags is a Marxist commune, it has emerged.
JAMES Dyson has been told to shut up and invent a toaster that is not a useless bag of piss.
WIGAN Athletic owner Dave Whelan is to reach out to his many Jewish friends with a lavish pork banquet.
THE shady figure who sold Myleene Klass a Catford garage for £2 million is refusing to discuss the deal.
EXPERTS have dismissed recent sightings of the Loch Ness Monster as nothing more than floating wood wearing a tartan bonnet.
INJURY-HIT Arsenal and Manchester United have agreed to field only five players each for tomorrow’s game.
THE Russian hackers who broke into 500 UK webcams are transfixed by the sheer lack of event in British lives.
TACTICAL voters no longer have any idea who they are meant to be voting for or who they are trying to keep out, they have admitted.
UKIP leader Nigel Farage has begged the Government to just let him take over now because he is too excited to wait any longer.