SUMMER has decided to end suddenly for artistic reasons, it has confirmed.
BRITAIN’S hard left consists of a 67 year-old former teacher who likes to collect different types of tea.
NEIGHBOURS of a man in Stevenage have confirmed that Roy Hobbs has completed 10 years of hammering the absolute shit out of something in his house.
A GROUP of 20 European teenagers with backpacks is currently being given a guided tour of your home.
THE Mayor of London is still not particularly likeable despite a sustained campaign of antics.
YOUR grandfather has phoned up to get help deleting his profile from hacked sex contacts site Ashley Madison.
SEAGULLS have cemented their position as humanity’s arch-enemy by opening a lettings agency specialising in ‘luxury studio flats’.
EVIL children have thanked Pixar’s Inside Out for putting the blame on cartoon characters.
THE benefits of being born middle class are not worth all the bullshit, it has been claimed.