FANS of fashionable US-type food have been reminded that it is just meat with cheese on it.
A FORMER school classmate is behaving as if you had a much closer relationship than was actually the case.
SPIDERS living rent-free in houses must provide evidence that they are actually killing flies.
DRINKERS who vowed not to touch alcohol for one month have decided to delay the pledge for thirty days or so.
THE Fall frontman Mark E Smith is close to recapturing an escaped bass guitarist who has been on the run for several days.
IAIN Duncan Smith is tipped to win a bet on who can come up with the most idiotic idea at the Tory conference.
BRITAIN will accept diminished civil rights if it means less Russell Brand on the television, it has emerged.
THOUSANDS of people who find actual music too confusing are excited to purchase the new single by Cheryl Cole.
BRITAIN’S supermarkets have revealed plans to stop concealing their utter loathing of the public.