Workers lunching outdoors decide to turn feral

OFFICE workers eating their sandwiches in the park are increasingly never going back to work or society.

Everybody wondering if it's okay to change profile back now

NO-ONE wants to be the first to remove the Pride rainbow from their Facebook picture, it has emerged.

Other cans think San Pellegrino is an arsehole

ALL other canned drinks regard San Pellegrino as a smug prick with a stupid foil hat, it has emerged.

Getting wasted in tent declared highlight of Glastonbury

THE best thing at Glastonbury was getting smashed in your tent, it has emerged.

English women better at football than English men

ENGLISH men are not as good at playing football as English women, it has been confirmed.

Dad has to admit some of those gays are in good shape

54-YEAR-OLD plumber Tom Booker has grudgingly complimented the physiques of Gay Pride participants.

Wimbledon provides welcome distraction from end of world

WIMBLEDON fortnight has begun amid sunshine and the imminent collapse of everything.

Soft top owners set for three days of year when it's not a total waste of money

BRITAIN'S convertible owners are set to enjoy the 72 hour annual period where they do not feel idiotic for buying it.

Boss believes he’s not a prick outside of work

A MANAGER is under the impression that outside of work he somehow stops being a prick.