DAVID Cameron has reached out to Britain’s everyday bastard-in-the-street.
PARENTS unable to afford school fees have been reduced to leaving public school prospectuses in highly visible areas of their homes.
ANYTHING described as ‘totally legal’ is always the wrong thing to do, it has emerged.
OFFICIALS will enforce 'pinch, punch, first of the month' tomorrow, it has been confirmed.
THE British economy is now completely dependent on 19-year-olds playing and narrating computer games.
WOMEN with no interest in copulation are bereft following the marriage of their dream man George Clooney.
RYDER Cup fans have been warned that golf is a boring pastime for twats.
DOG enthusiasts have called for stranger and more physically dysfunctional breeds.
ACTOR Stephen Fry has admitted refusing to share his cocaine with a furious Prince Philip.