Show really gets going in season two, says friend who assumes you’re fine to sit through ten hours of shit

A TV show is worth persevering with because it improves after just ten hours, according to a friend who assumes you have nothing better to do.

My week whited-up as an angry, middle-aged man

Why I, an Afro-Caribbean woman, decided to put on latex, a fatsuit, ironed bootcut M&S jeans and a crisp blue shirt to find out the truth about life among the whites.

Reciprocal gift-giving ‘a lifelong contract from which there is no escape’

THE giving and receiving of gifts between women is a contract that can never be broken no matter how much each party yearns for escape.

It’s not our fault they don’t take black kids at Eton, says Oxford

OXFORD University has defended its admissions policy by saying it is powerless to take black students when they have not been educated at Eton.

Britain gets up, opens curtains to pitch blackness, and knows summer was just a dream

THE UK has awoken, opened the curtains to windows that are nothing but rectangles of darkness, and realised that summer was just a silly dream.

Crime cool again

CRIME has come back into fashion in Britain, with criminals regarded as stylish and desirable role models by young people.

Jacob Rees-Mogg preparing for World War Two

TORY MP Jacob Rees-Mogg believes that despite the prime minister’s attempts to appease Germany, Britain is once again on the verge of World War Two.

Cat gets disappointing reception at house where he used to live

A CAT visited the house where he used to live only to be met with hostility.

Theresa May emails EU citizens with chores rota

THE prime minister has emailed 100,000 EU citizens in the UK telling them they can remain in our country if they pitch in with chores.