Group of tired, miserable people actually networking

A GROUP of conference attendees making strained conversation at the bar have realised that they are networking.

Bono to do a shit in your sock drawer

CONCEITED rocker Bono has announced plans for a free gift of a turd among your socks.

Man trapped in Waterstones has idea for a book

A MAN who was trapped in a Waterstones has had an idea for a novel.

Drunk you is the real you

YOUR behaviour when you are drunk represents your true personality, scientists have confirmed.

Ghosts ‘bollocks’

GHOSTS are a load of bollocks, it has been confirmed.

Lord Freud tells disabled to rent out their wheelchairs

A GOVERNMENT minister has urged disabled people to rent out their wheelchairs when they are not sitting in them.

Russell Brand crucifixion ‘could save mankind’

ATTACHING Russell Brand to a big cross would probably sort everything out, it has been claimed.

Gamers pushing society’s buttons for cheat code

GAMERS are wildly pushing everyone’s buttons to unlock new powers to beat their critics, they have confirmed.

Radio Times archives confirm TV was always shit

A NEW website which archives the Radio Times TV listings has confirmed that television has always been a waste of time.