A LONDON fire has been hailed as a hero after thousands got the afternoon off work and Mamma Mia! was cancelled.
IF I was prime minister I would ban all mention of politics.
CHANNEL 5 is making a documentary about feckless, irresponsible idiots who happen to be middle class.
BRITAIN has returned to buying clothes from Marks and Spencer after realising that caring about appearances is shallow and worthless.
FAST food outlets in poorer areas must become a bit fancy, it has been confirmed.
ED Miliband believes that Zoe Wanamaker would bring a fresh twist to the role of Darth Vader.
THE key qualification for being a business leader is the ability to fire people while consuming food.
HOUSEGUESTS should be greeted with the wi-fi password at maximum volume, according to new etiquette guidelines.
ANYONE perpetrating April Fools' Day pranks can be legally murdered before midday, experts have confirmed.