Twitter not allowed to be completely full of shit
SOME of the things that appear on Twitter have to be vaguely accurate, the High Court has ruled.
Everything co-workers do is annoying
ABSOLUTELY everything your colleagues do is annoying, it has emerged.
Men ordered to be ashamed of their bodies
BRITISH men must attend a series of self-hate seminars to increase their body neuroses.
Rolling into a ball not as good as running like f*ck, hedgehogs told
A SHARP decline in hedgehog numbers has been blamed on the ineffectiveness of curling into a ball when threatened.
Men in balaclavas offer soothing prospect of war
MEN wearing balaclavas have been making a dreadful situation better.
Idea of female cub scout leader 'is doing Al Qaeda's head in'
JIHADISTS said the idea of a woman being in charge of young males in uniform was driving them crazy.
Michael Bublé unable to do up a tie
CANADIAN crooner Michael Bublé is incapable of doing up a tie.
Police set up fantasy avatar squad
POLICE have set up an avatar unit to tackle crime in online role-playing games.
Britain to be physically removed from Europe
BRITAIN is to be detached from the Earth's crust and moved away from Europe.
