Syria-bound family just really hated Stoke

MEMBERS of a British family headed for Syria have confirmed they were just sick of the Midlands.

Open plan restaurants ‘not delivering enough chef carnage’

CHEFS working in open plan kitchens should have more amusing painful mishaps, according to restaurant customers.

Green Party achieves 100 per cent approval among tiresome Steiner parents

SELF-SATISFIED Steiner couples are totally behind the Green Party, it has emerged.

Major says SNP like Edwina Currie but without the raw sexual energy

FORMER prime minister John Major has claimed the SNP is like Edwina Currie, but in a bad way.

Pink hair people launch their manifesto

PEOPLE with pink hair have issued a document explaining who they are and what they want.

Sherwood launches 'mind banter' campaign against Wenger

TIM Sherwood will forego traditional cup final 'mind games' in favour of subtly inferring that Arsene Wenger is unable to down a pint.

Sturgeon unveils manifesto for undiscovered planets

SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon has set out her plans for the entire universe.

EU taxpayers okay with not letting people drown

FINDING some room for migrants is preferable to letting them drown, EU taxpayers have stressed.

Key to relationships is dumping the other person first

RELATIONSHIPS are about dumping your partner before they can dump you, it has been claimed.