Man with shaved head and beard is going bald on his terms

38-YEAR-OLD Tom Logan is controlling his hair destiny by shaving his head and growing a beard.

Cameron announces tough sanctions against London

THE prime minister is to impose sanctions on Russia's wealthiest city, London.

Gerrard retirement speech 'accidentally' ruined by Lampard

AN emotional speech confirming Steven Gerrard's retirement from England duty has been marred by loud praise from Frank Lampard.

Prosecco is top blackout juice

EVERYBODY is getting wasted on prosecco this year, supermarkets have confirmed.

Katie Price announces remake of My Fair Lady

FORMER glamour model Katie Price is to write, direct and star in an updated version of My Fair Lady.

Prince George shoots his first butterfly

PRINCE George has been introduced to the world of country sports by shooting a butterfly.

Sex actually quite strange

SEXUAL intercourse is probably the weirdest thing you will ever do, according to experts.

Nick Griffin's CV

IF I do not hear from you I will assume it is because I am not black or in ownership of a vagina.

Everybody really hates the slate thing, chefs told

NO diner prefers a slab of black rock to a plate, chefs have been informed.