Robin f**king hates Christmas

A ROBIN has described its intense dislike of everything associated with Christmas.

Buy-to-let landlords just in it for the twisted power trip

BRITAIN’S middle class landlords have admitted that they are just like Walter White from Breaking Bad.

Ask Holly: Are colouring books suitable for grown men?

COLOURING in is NOT suitable for adults, and certainly not adults of a fragile state of mind.

Man views every minor inconvenience as sign terrorists have won

NOT being allowed to take a backpack into the National Gallery is proof that terrorism has won, it has been claimed.

Leicester’s secret is not playing any good teams

THE KEY to Leicester City’s success is to avoid playing anyone decent, it has been confirmed.

Welshman sentenced to live in London

A WELSH criminal has been sentenced to live in London.

Family dreading plan to ‘do something different’ for Christmas

A MUM’S desire to ‘do something different’ at Christmas has been met with fear and suspicion by her family, it has emerged.

Osborne's attempt to bond with builders ends with threat to have them all killed

GEORGE Osborne has threatened to ‘disappear’ everyone on a building site after they criticised his bricklaying technique.

Woman’s dream meaningless

A 29-YEAR-OLD woman’s bizarre and convoluted dream has no meaning whatsoever, it has been confirmed.