THE lack of absurd DJ names has been linked to a decline in the quality of dance music.
NOTHING would have induced me to flee to Manchester, not even £16m.
BORIS Johnson is to create an island sanctuary for people called Boris.
A NEW phone app restores failed relationships, its makers have claimed.
DRINKERS are furious about being unable to predict the severity of their hangovers.
ENDANGERED water voles have designed a revised food chain where nothing eats them.
FOLLOWING the deaths of the geckos on its satellite, Russia is to send more unappealing species on one-way space journeys.
MEN have convinced themselves that looking at naked celebrity pictures is a legitimate part of keeping up with current affairs.
GEESE are inexplicably convinced that they are hard as nails, it has emerged.