Psychics still a thing

PSYCHICS are still in existence despite the fact it is 2016.

Starfish washes up on beach and gets carried around in dog’s mouth

A DEAD starfish has washed up on a Norfolk beach, where it is being carried around by a dog.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL–20 MAY) You had a great Fat Tuesday yesterday. Or as you call it, Tuesday.

Men spend most of lives imagining they are manager of favourite football team with an unlimited budget

MEN spend around 60 per cent of their lives daydreaming about managing their favourite football team with unlimited money to spend on players, it has emerged.

Friend of friend turns out to be massive arse

A FRIEND’S friend has revealed himself to be an unmitigated arsehole.

Doctors evil, explains Hunt

DOCTORS only do it because they like cutting people up or making them take their clothes off, health secretary Jeremy Hunt has claimed.

Savoury pancakes are bullshit, says Pope

THE Pope has officially proclaimed that God did not intend anyone to eat savoury pancakes.

Businesswoman’s credibility undermined by partially faded nightclub stamp

A WOMAN’S otherwise convincing presentation has been undermined by the fading nightclub entry stamp on the back of her hand.

Mum asking questions on Facebook like she's never heard of Google

A MUM is using Facebook to ask questions that would be easily answered with an internet search.