ENGLISH people who keep taking the piss out of Scotland are also baffled as to why the country might want independence.
SIR Philip Green has confirmed plans to ignore a few weeks of criticism for his role in the BHS collapse and still be rich at the end of it.
AN ASPIRING musician has discovered that his fall-back career option of setting up a world-renowned record label is only marginally less impossible.
AN AWFUL, depressing evening out has been immortalised in a cheerful group photo.
DIRECTOR Danny Boyle has confirmed that the new Trainspotting film will focus on the enjoyment of real ale.
FRANCE hates foreigners and thinks it is better than neighbouring countries, it has been claimed.
A LOCAL cafe has a copy of today’s Guardian that will remain forever untouched by human hands.
BRITONS have demanded another important issue to vote on without much thought for the consequences.
LOCALS are coming to terms with having seen their neighbour's weird knees over the weekend.