THE Guardian has published a guide to cooking quick, but delicious crystal meth for a casual Friday night get-together.
PEOPLE who love starting fires and watching others run for their lives are the most upbeat about Brexit, it has emerged.
THE White House has confirmed that President Donald Trump is on glue.
A WOMAN who keeps voting for Conservative governments cannot understand why her local services are terrible.
BRITAIN is waiting with bated breath for the verdict of the few people in Stoke and Copeland who can be arsed to vote, it has been confirmed.
A NEW BBC Scotland channel will show English period dramas with voiceovers from Scottish people calling everyone ‘bawbags’.
EVEN funny stories about a fat man eating a pie now end in the ruination of everyone involved, it has been confirmed.
A WOMAN has decided against having children because it is loads of hassle.
RUGBY Union chiefs have been forced to admit the sport is a bloodletting free-for-all that may need some rules.