Business

HSBC in talks with Somalia’s pirate king

HSBC is to move its HQ from London and is considering an offer from the pirate king of Somalia.

Londoners falling down cool, independent holes

LONDONERS are competing to plunge into quirky, independently-run holes in the pavement.

We have to eat something, shoppers tell Which?

SUPERMARKET shoppers have told Which? they are fully aware that they are being ripped off but still want to live.

Castle Wonga stormed by angry peasants

A MOB with flaming torches has laid waste to Castle Wonga, home of the evil Count Wongula.

Bounty Hunter launched as first coconut bar for men

COCONUT chocolate bar Bounty is now available in a male version called Bounty Hunter.

Delayed Gatwick passengers forced to drill for oil

PASSENGERS delayed at Gatwick Airport will be forced into slavery on a nearby oilfield.

Aldi and Waitrose like Batman and the Joker

SWORN adversaries Aldi and Waitrose need each other on some weird level, it has been claimed.

Living near a Waitrose makes you a 12 per cent better person

A WAITROSE within a mile of your home improves your wisdom, altruism and lovemaking by 12 per cent.