Business

Gherkins outside London available for £150,000

THE £640m asking price of London's Gherkin building is far more than Gherkins are fetching outside the capital.

Public furious at competent bankers

THE public has called for the RBS bankers who made a £1 billion profit to be replaced by bungling hate figures.

Britons embrace fake cycling holidays

THOUSANDS of Britons are hiring specialist image manipulators to simulate exotic cycling trips.

Scottish coffee actually lager

'COFFEE' served in Scottish cafes is actually high strength lager.

Retail arm of bank in love with investment arm

THE UK’s banks have pleaded not to be broken up because they are deeply in love.

Kickstarter ignores cancer cure in favour of gnome hat

A CANCER cure has lost out on Kickstarter to a humorous scheme to buy a garden gnome a hat.

Supermarkets openly targeting tight bastards

TESCO has launched a special Tight Bastard range aimed at misers.

Airports to combine body searches with eating, shopping and the toilet

AIRPORTS are to minimise delays by searching your insides while you eat, shop and go to the lavatory.