Business

We insist on only the finest French champagne, say Wetherspoons' aristocratic customers

ARISTOCRATS who drink at Wetherspoons have threatened a boycott after the chain revealed it will no longer sell the fine French champagnes they demand. 

Petrol going up to stop everyone moving to France

THE price of petrol is increasing to stop everyone from moving to France, it has emerged.

We get it, you like Primark, says New Look

NEW Look is to refocus on selling shit clothing dirt-cheap because that is apparently what Britain wants. 

PR professional unable to make people like her

A PUBLIC relations professional is unable to make people like her, it has emerged.

Saturday girl in Topshop directly responsible for company policies and welcomes your feedback

THE teenage girl working in Topshop today is in direct in contact with the CEO and will pass on all your thoughts on how the retailer should be operated, she has confirmed.

Woman boycotting Lush because of hideous smell rather than anti-police campaign

THE most offensive thing about Lush is getting an instant scent-induced migraine as soon as you step through the door, it has been claimed.

Women 'too weak to work in offices and could be witches', say bosses

COMPANIES have denied their reasons for not employing women at senior levels are completely pathetic.

Greggs workers to get bonus of 1,000 steak bakes

EVERY member of Greggs’ staff will receive enough steak bakes to fill a small skip as a thank you for their loyalty, the bakery has announced.