Business

Rail replacement buses, and other pains in the arse it should be illegal to charge for

‘BECAUSE we value our customers, we are continuing to charge the full price for a service that is far worse than advertised,’ say businesses, and the f**kers get away with it.

'Dogs welcome' only refers to middle-class dogs, businesses clarify

BUSINESSES displaying ‘Dogs Welcome!’ signs have clarified that they only mean nice, well-behaved and well-groomed middle-class dogs whose owners spend money.

Pay up or the turds start coming out of the taps, say water companies

WATER companies have told customers they can either pay higher bills or start enjoying excrement coming out of their taps.

Michelle Mone's frozen assets – a guide

£75m of Baroness Mone’s assets have been frozen. These are just a few of them.

The Post Office, and other companies with bullshit slogans that need updating

EVERY big company in the UK has a wanky slogan, even the laughably useless privatised utilities and the downright evil Post Office. Here are some suggestions for updating them.

Paula Vennells to charge exorbitant delivery fee for returning her CBE

FORMER Post Office chief Paula Vennells will charge an eye-watering sum for returning her CBE by post, it has emerged.

Grandchildren gifted cheques they will never manage to pay in

YOUNG people all over the country are baffled after receiving small rectangles of paper for Christmas.

True meaning of Boxing Day is internet sales

HUGE online discounts on books, clothes and electrical goods are the true meaning of Boxing Day, it has been confirmed.

Successful person admits lack of working-class backstory

A SUCCESSFUL entrepreneur has confessed that she neither has a working-class background or is prepared to make one up.