Business

Everything to be alright at Sports Direct now Mike Ashley in charge

ALL problems at Sports Direct will disappear now Mike Ashley is chief executive, jubilant employees have confirmed.

Letting agents 'as highly trained as brain surgeons'

LETTING agents charge a lot because it takes years of training to master printing out a contract, it has been claimed.

Boss into company loyalty buggers off for more money

A MANAGER who kept talking about company loyalty has left without hesitation for more cash.

Lack of ‘Brexit effects’ proves Brexit has not yet happened

THE lack of any ‘Brexit effect’ in employment, the stock market and the wider UK economy proves that Brexit is yet to take place, say experts.

New yoghurt not that creamy

A NEW type of yoghurt is being marketed on its lack of creaminess.

Sainsbury’s had no idea social media storm would create publicity for its new meal deal

SAINSBURY’S has confirmed it had no idea that changing its meal deal ever-so-slightly would create a shitload of free publicity on social media.

Seasonal aisle in Asda takes moment to reflect on mortality

THE seasonal aisle in a supermarket is reflecting on the passing of summer into autumn and the inexorable march of time.

Apple not toothless crofter living alone in peat-burning cottage, EU rules

THE EU has ruled that Apple is not a kindly old crofter living in an isolated cottage in County Mayo, as it had claimed for tax purposes.