Business

People who earn f**k-all blasted for paying no tax

LOW-EARNERS are facing criticism for making practically no contribution to taxation when compared to the extremely rich.

BHS saved by consortium of Northern grans

BHS has had a last-minute reprieve after being bought by Northern grandmothers.

UK breathes sigh of relief as Tesco back in profit

THE UK has properly relaxed for the first time in three years following news that Tesco has returned to profit.

Worker unwittingly uses ‘Jenny’s special mug’

AN OFFICER worker who unwittingly used a forbidden ‘special mug’ is now doomed.

Secret to getting rich ‘is to just keep it a secret’

THE secret to becoming immensely wealthy is to not tell anyone about it, according to a new book.

Steel worker grateful for chance to finish romantic comedy script

STEEL worker Tom Logan has thanked the government for not saving his job so that he can focus on writing a romantic comedy screenplay.

Worker competence down 80 per cent since Thursday

EVERYONE in Britain is now unable to do the thing they are paid to do after a four-day weekend.

Britons buying six weeks of supplies for single day shops are shut

THE UK is buying in six weeks’ worth of groceries to get them through Easter Sunday when all supermarkets are closed.