Business

Wonga advert features only thing more terrifying than puppets

MONEY lender Wonga has replaced its menacing pensioner puppets with even more menacing dinner ladies.

Hipsters secretly plotting to ruin darts

HIPSTER entrepreneurs are planning to re-brand darts as ‘flechette’, leaked emails have revealed.

Coca-Cola to execute people who aren’t happy

UNHAPPINESS is now punishable by death, under new laws funded by Coca-Cola.

Stony-hearted Britons struggling to feel anything for supermarkets

SHOCKED Britons have found themselves at a point of 'supermarket compassion fatigue'.

False dawn as PowerPoint presentation skips to the end

STAFF on a training day were given a cruel flicker of hope when a PowerPoint presentation malfunctioned.

Chimps being groomed for your job

CHIMPANZEES are currently being trained up to take your job.

HSBC in talks with Somalia’s pirate king

HSBC is to move its HQ from London and is considering an offer from the pirate king of Somalia.

Londoners falling down cool, independent holes

LONDONERS are competing to plunge into quirky, independently-run holes in the pavement.