Business

Any company making a profit is lying

ANY business which claims to be successful is covering up a huge hole in its accounts, analysts have confirmed.

‘Getting your name out there’ to become legal tender

ANYONE asked to undertake unpaid work can exchange Facebook ‘likes’ for food under a new government initiative.

New car as generic as you are

A NEW model of car is as unremarkable as your personality, according to its makers.

Banks unveil next year's bailout

THE UK’s banks have announced their new multi-billion pound government bailout, which will take place in March next year.

Group of tired, miserable people actually networking

A GROUP of conference attendees making strained conversation at the bar have realised that they are networking.

UK sells last tiny piece of infrastructure

A TRAFFIC island which was the UK's last piece of infrastructure has been sold to the private sector.

Network Rail unveils route to Saudi Arabia

NETWORK Rail has announced plans to extend its Great Eastern Main Line through to Saudi Arabia.

All internet providers total and utter bastards

EVERY broadband company is an absolute shower of shit run by complete bastards, it has been confirmed.