Politics

Labelling half the country whinging Remoaner twats not politically popular, discovers May

THE shock Richmond byelection result might be related to calling half of UK voters losers who should shut their traitor mouths forever, Conservative sources believe.

Hipster politician thinks Article 49 is really underrated

A HIPSTER politician has claimed that Article 49 of the Lisbon Treaty is actually a lot better than Article 50.

Blair discovers centre ground is now a smouldering hole

FORMER prime minister Tony Blair has discovered the centre ground on which he was planning to build his new institute is now a large crater.

Tories take huge lead in poll that's definitely not wrong like all the other polls were

PEOPLE are continuing to act like polls actually mean something, it has emerged.

Nuttall excited to be soon-forgotten footnote in the history of British politics

NEW UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has pledged to be a forgettable minor player in the overall history of British politics.

Parents urged to stop telling kids to believe in Corbyn

TELLING children Jeremy Corbyn is real can cause serious trust issues when they eventually find out he doesn't exist, it has been claimed.

Hammond accidentally reveals red briefcase contains his erotic short stories

PHILIP Hammond's red briefcase has fallen open to reveal the manuscript of an erotic short story book he has been writing.

Scotland and Wales join judges on ‘enemies of the people’ list

THE populations of Scotland and Wales have joined the UK legal system as enemies of the people for interfering in Brexit.