Politics

Let's finish with a sexy prime minister, say Tories

RIGHT-WING Conservative MPs are secretly plotting to make Penny Mordaunt leader so the party can go out on a sexy high, it has emerged.

Six ways in which the Tories qualify as extremists, under their own laws

MICHAEL Gove, better known as The Government, has redefined extremism so he can ban any political group he dislikes, including the Tories, on the following grounds:

We ask you: should the Conservatives return their racist £10 million?

HEAVEN knows why, but a racist has donated £10 million to the Conservatives. Should the party return this tainted cash?

Millionaire donor racism less serious than regular racism, says government

THE government has clarified that racist comments made by a millionaire donor are not as serious as regular race-based bigotry.

Lee Anderson regretting defection to Reform after hearing Tory donor comments

MP Lee Anderson is regretting leaving the Conservative party after hearing comments by top donor Frank Hester, it has emerged.

'Slightly less shit than the pricks after her': A nation pays tribute to Theresa May

THE people of Britain have paid their respects to an ex-prime minister who was still utterly awful but marginally less crap than her successors.

Tories enter final phase of existence as they f**k over pensioners

THE Conservative Party has signalled it is entering the final stages of its 200-year existence by f**king over the last people in Britain who support it.

Why we should ban over-60s from social media, by the baroness who thought an octopus was Hitler

THE government recently argued that under-16s should be banned from social media, but it's old people like me who've been stupidly claiming an octopus mascot on University Challenge was antisemitic.