Society

Tosser policeman not going soft on cannabis

PC TOM Logan is determined to keep busting people for having tiny amounts of cannabis because he is a tosser.

European tour group being shown around your house

A GROUP of 20 European teenagers with backpacks is currently being given a guided tour of your home.

Grandad rings up for help deleting his Ashley Madison profile

YOUR grandfather has phoned up to get help deleting his profile from hacked sex contacts site Ashley Madison.

Neighbour celebrates 10 years of hammering the shit out of something

NEIGHBOURS of a man in Stevenage have confirmed that Roy Hobbs has completed 10 years of hammering the absolute shit out of something in his house.

Sewel revelations ‘a tad vicarious’, confirm Britain’s older men

MILLIONS of older men have been nodding vigorously at the Lord Sewel sex and drugs scandal.

Middle class advantages outweighed by having to live among middle class people

THE benefits of being born middle class are not worth all the bullshit, it has been claimed.

Camping trip only planned to heighten appreciation of house

A FAMILY are spending a weekend camping in order to really appreciate their three bedroom house.

First-time buyers’ definition of London now includes Coventry

A COUPLE looking to purchase their first home are claiming that Coventry is an up-and-coming part of the metropolitan area.