Society

EVERY unimpressive mid-sized town has features its defensive residents believe make it stand out, and they’re always the same seven things.

CARDIFF plans to charge SUV drivers more to park, an idea that may be adopted elsewhere. But given the annoyance value of these vehicles, harsher measures are in order. Like these.

TWO old men sitting in a pub in silence have explained that their personal bond is so strong it is unnecessary to ever have a conversation.

A CLASS of GCSE schoolchildren are sniggering at an ancient educational video made back in the depths of 2004, they have confirmed.

HELLO, I’m Miss Traherne. I’ve written it on the whiteboard for you. Today we’ll be learning about the inevitable downfall of the ruling class, like Mr Farage says.

EXPERTS have warned that a new financial crisis which you did nothing to contribute to but will f**k you right up is coming, so bad luck.

KEMI Badenoch wants to curb English degrees due to their ‘poor graduate outcomes’. But she should realise there are many excellent reasons to do them. Like these.

THE British winner of the Nobel Prize for Physics is to spend the whole of his prize money on a customised sports utility vehicle in metallic Muscle Purple.

PADDINGTON Bear has taken legal action over suggestions that he was, in her final year, Queen Elizabeth II’s designated f**kbuddy.

TAYLOR Swift’s former fans have praised the star for prioritising their emotional development by releasing an album bad enough for them to move on.