Society

Middle class children ask for massive plastic toys to annoy parents

MIDDLE class children are asking for large, brightly coloured plastic toys for Christmas that will ruin their parent’s tasteful lifestyle.

Woman devastated over split with ex's Netflix account

A WOMAN who broke up with her boyfriend has been left heartbroken by the loss of his Netflix account.

Couple attempt to get properly drunk on Baileys

A COUPLE are planning to spend tonight investigating whether it is possible to get seriously drunk on Baileys alone.

Last piece of actual work this year to be completed by 3pm

OFFICE workers across Britain have confirmed that absolutely nothing of consequence will be done next week.

Plan to take E at office party rapidly backfires

A MAN has instantly regretted taking an Ecstasy pill at his work Christmas party, it has emerged.

Brexiters confident obscure local grievances will be in government plan

BREXITERS believe the weird local grievances that made them vote Leave will be addressed in the government’s plans.

Attractive colleague given inappropriately expensive gift

AWKWARDNESS has descended on an office after a man bought an expensive Christmas gift for a female colleague, it has emerged.

Mums demand to know exactly what time you’re arriving on Christmas Day

MOTHERS have demanded to know what time you are coming around on Christmas Day, to the nearest four minutes.