Society

St George’s Cross house is workers' cooperative

THE  Rochester house covered in England flags is a Marxist commune, it has emerged.

Attractive middle class woman does not have cookery book out

A GOOD-LOOKING woman from a nice family has inexplicably failed to produce a cookery book.

Last ‘older-looking kid who buys porn for friends’ retires

THE UK’s last working porn-getter has retired.

'Arm' removed from dictionary to make room for 'vape'

THE word 'arm' has been deleted from the Oxford English Dictionary to accommodate 'vape'.

Employers will hire any f*ckwit if they went to a fancy school

BOSSES have confirmed they want to hire people who attended fancy schools, even if they are utter morons.

Anyone going abroad assumed to be buying sex

ANYONE who leaves the UK for leisure or business is really on a sex trip, it has been decided.

Most crime entirely accidental, explain police

POLICE have explained that most so-called crimes are really just a series on unfortunate coincidences.

‘Pick up artist’ seducing stupid men

A MAN selling bullshit ‘pick-up’ lessons has worked his magic on hundreds of gullible men.