Society

Man weirdly aggressive about being a dad

A MAN keeps mentioning his children in a way that is clearly meant to make people respect him, it has emerged.

Being proved right about Brexit more important than future of UK

BRITONS are hoping the UK will suffer social and economic chaos if it supports their views on Brexit, they have revealed.

Girlfriends confirm nothing is wrong although their manner suggests otherwise

BRITAIN’S girlfriends have confirmed that nothing is wrong, but in a slightly offhand way which suggests that this may not be the case.

Barbecue happening even if we all drown, man tells friends

A MAN who is holding a barbecue on Saturday is going ahead with it no matter what, he has confirmed.

Desperate hipster wonders when it's all going to end 


A SAD hipster is desperate to know when he can go back to being normal.

London is the world’s friendliest city, now f**k off, say residents

A SURVEY to find the world’s friendliest city has been told in no uncertain terms that it is London, unless the researchers have a problem with that.

Student celebrates ‘A with a shitload of stars’ grade

A STUDENT is celebrating getting the first ‘A with a shitload of stars’ grade at A Level.

Woman still waiting for response to email just saying ‘hi’ with a link to penis pills

A WOMAN is annoyed after sending all her friends a helpful link to erection pills and not getting any response.