Society

First-time buyers advised to not bother

ANYONE struggling to buy a house has been advised to give the whole nightmare as wide a berth as possible.

Cat and dog find common enemy in Hoover

A CAT and a dog have been united by their shared hatred of the Hoover.

Steampunk baffled by friends' waning enthusiasm for dressing like that

A 45-YEAR-OLD 'steampunk' cannot understand why his friends no longer seem as committed to Victorian-themed sci-fi roleplay.

Budget to tackle vital issue of slightly cheaper rail travel for 25-to-30-year-olds

THE Conservatives have jumped eight points in the polls after tackling the crucial issue of 25-to-30-year-olds’ daytime train fares.

Woman outsmarts biscuit with larger mug

A WOMAN struggling to dunk a biscuit has finally defeated it with a bigger mug.

I treat male and female employees exactly the same, boss tells worker's breasts

A BOSS has explained his non-sexist approach to a female worker while staring directly at her chest.

Old hippyish man who didn't murder anyone dies

AN OLD bearded man, who was around in the 60s but didn’t do any murders, has died.

'We're very lucky' say couple who clearly mean 'we're amazing'

A SUCCESSFUL couple have put it all down to luck while also not wanting you to believe that.