THE train is your house on rails where you can do whatever you like, according to many passengers.
A CYCLIST who failed to ride right through a red light has been left wondering if he is any kind of a man.
A WOMAN has looked at her smartphone 63 times in a day without finding the cure for her inner emptiness.
A DELUSIONAL man thinks he is going to get his deposit back from a private landlord.
A COCKTAIL barman cares too deeply about which drink his customers order, it has emerged.
49-YEAR-OLD Wayne Hayes has imagined a situation where Daisy Lowe agrees to go out with him.
A WOMAN has successfully completed the week without giving a toss about the Brangelina split or the cake show.
A 45-YEAR-OLD old man is deeply committed to saying he is a socialist.