Society

New parent and massive stoner discover they have loads in common

A NEW mum and a pothead have bonded over having red eyes and feeling divorced from reality, it has emerged.

Passenger denied boarding because she hasn’t bought enough crap in airport

A PASSENGER has been refused boarding to her flight to Malta because she has not bought enough perfume, sunglasses or Toblerones.

Vow to not give toddler iPad lasts 78 seconds

TWO idealistic parents have reneged on their pledge to raise their child without screens after 78 seconds of spirited resistance.

Daddy uses all the best words when he’s driving, kids agree

TWO children have agreed that they pick up all the most useful phrases when Daddy is driving them to school.

We may have too much money, admit couple doing up wet room again

A COUPLE have admitted they may have too much spare cash after deciding to refurbish their shower room for the third time in 10 years.

Facebook told to piss off with this 'Friendversary' thing 


FACEBOOK needs to stop telling people how long they have been friends on Facebook, because no-one gives a shit, it has been confirmed.

Whatever happened to nunchucks? asks Britain

THE number of nunchucks in British homes is at its lowest level since the 1960s, according to new research.

Metropolitan types clearly shitting it in country pub

A GROUP of London media types are having an absolute nightmare in a rural pub, it has been revealed.