Society

THE 00s have been condemned and must be purged with fire. What one thing are you ill-advisedly saving from history’s worst decade?

ANY woman who existed during the Noughties is eligible for a cash payout to make up for the trauma they undoubtedly suffered during the ten-year period.

EVERY year Remembrance Day is marred by leftie traitors failing to observe correct poppy etiquette. Here is how the scum of society disrespect our heroic fallen.

ANYONE can fall victim to a scam, if they’re distracted, greedy or thick enough. All these are aimed firmly at the last category.

BRITAIN has breathed a sigh of relief that the crimes of Russell Brand were not the fault of his industry or his audience or the patriarchy but the BBC.

DEAFENING fireworks will be causing a Guardian reader to scurry for cover behind his sofa tonight.

TAKING a bus or train? Arrogant enough to assume the entire space belongs to you and your children, should you so wish it? Ignore all established etiquette like this.

THE Collins English Dictionary has admitted it was forced to include ‘mogging’ in its new edition because rational older users of language do not make up enough bullshit.

NATIONS built on British slavery are demanding reparations for historic wrongs, but what about you? Your life isn’t all easy. Don’t you deserve something? Find out.