Society

Idiot really chuffed with his sunburn

AN idiot has proclaimed his sunburn to be some sort of achievement.

Couple holding hands in the street really pissing everyone off

A COUPLE enjoying a romantic stroll around the shops are taking up the entire fucking pavement, other pedestrians have confirmed.

Men get their horrible legs out

MEN have decided that today is nice enough to be ruined by them exposing their horrible, gnarled, white legs to the world. 

Woman realises she's slept with at least four Tories

A WOMAN has been horrified to realise that she has had sex with at least four Conservative voters.

Couple starting to wonder if argument is really about which tinned tomatoes to buy

A COUPLE disagreeing on which tinned tomatoes to buy are both wondering if the real problem lies elsewhere.

'This was a false flag' says arsehole who thinks everything is a f**king false flag

AN ARSEHOLE has claimed that every terrorist attack of the last 20 years was a 'false flag' perpetrated by the government.

12 things that make Manchester better than pretty much anywhere

1. It, obviously, has the best bands. Sorry Glasgow and wherever else bands come from.  

Cuts mean army can do lots of other 'police stuff', says May

THERESA May has confirmed the army will increasingly ‘stand in’ for the police while reassuring Britain that it is 'totally fine'.