BRITAIN is to be detached from the Earth's crust and moved away from Europe.
CAR and bike owners have agreed that they hate people who travel on foot.
GAY marriage could force Britain to read about a newly married lesbian queen opening a hospital, it has emerged.
BRITAIN'S gay men and women have defied angry Tories by taking their gayness to a new and hotter level.
CHILDREN should be warned about Femail Today as soon they have access to the internet, it has been claimed.
STOCKY men are aggressive because their clothes are constantly chafing.
PEOPLE who don't retire live longer because they are fuelled by hatred for their co-workers.