Society

Woman’s arty gift shop is a shrine to pointlessness

THE proprietor of a shop selling tasteful artisan gifts has realised it is all just so f*cking irrelevant.

Ruined ski holidays put smile on everyone else's faces

A SHORTAGE of snow in the Alps has cheered up thousands who love to see the middle classes spend money on going to see some rocks.

Domestic drones obviously insane

PRIVATELY operated drones are a sign that society has lost its mind, experts have confirmed.

Drinking during day temporarily not shameful

THE social stigma attached to daytime drinking sessions has been lifted for the festive season.

Things men want for Christmas have no physical form

THE most popular men’s Christmas presents, including books, music and computer games, no longer exist as physical things.

Totally unreasonable bastards expecting man to do his job

A MAN is being unfairly expected to do the job he is paid to do, it has emerged.

Star Wars character names coming to a nursery near you

MORON parents are to call their babies things like Poe and Kylo Ren, it has been confirmed.

Birthdays cancelled for a month

ANYONE unlucky enough to have a birthday in the next month might as well not bother, research has shown.