Society

Male aggression caused by chafing
STOCKY men are aggressive because their clothes are constantly chafing.

Older workers kept alive by hate
PEOPLE who don't retire live longer because they are fuelled by hatred for their co-workers.

Science fiction fans now harder than football fans
SCIENCE fiction conventions are attracting more hard bastards than football matches, it has emerged.

Most men 'don't know what masculinity is'
MOST British men have no idea what masculinity would actually involve, it has been confirmed.

Cashpoint morons warned to plan ahead
SIMPLY deciding in advance what you want from a cashpoint can stop others wanting to kill you, it has been claimed.

Oh good, feminism's back, say men
MEN were last night delighted to discover that feminism is making a comeback.

Britons could be forced to stop beating each other up
A CRISIS in A & E means Britons may be forced to reconsider whether they can have a fight this weekend.

All TV ads to be 'phases of life' montage
TELEVISION adverts must show a couple getting together, having kids and then sending their kids to university, according to new guidelines.