Business

SPONSORED FEATURE: Why you should have a pre-payment meter if you f**king know what's good for you, by British Gas

TIRED of wrestling with your less-expensive direct debit? Why not upgrade to a pre-payment meter we’ll even install for you? Don’t make us ask twice. You’ll regret it.

We couldn't have done it without you, says Shell

OIL and gas giant Shell has thanked you for your invaluable contribution to its record profits of £32.2 billion.

Call everyone 'boss': How to curry favour with the scary men at Halfords

HALFORDS can be intimidating for the sensitive, modern man who doesn’t know how to check his oil. Here’s how to ingratiate yourself with the frightening blokes who replace your headlights.

Woman completing tax return can't wait to see how the government wisely spends it

A SELF-EMPLOYED woman completing her tax return is eager to find out how this unimpeachable government will best use her hard-earned money.

'I've got the receipt if you hate it', and six other Christmas throw-down challenges

FILMS and TV would have us believe that Christmas is when we forget our differences but that’s pure bollocks. These classic lines will incite festive violence.

Couple rush to sales to see how much they overpaid for each other's presents

A COUPLE are spending the day at the sales to see how much they overpaid for the gifts they received two days ago.

Banks free to bollocks everything up again

A NEW set of financial rules will give banks the freedom to trash the economy beyond repair again, it has been announced.

The poor, beleaguered landlord's guide to why it's a really hard time for them, actually

BUY-TO-LET landlords are seeing their profits slump due to increases in mortgage rates. Landlord Martin Bishop explains why else it’s a terribly difficult job.

Airport drop-off and other crap they've no right charging you for

EVEN in the inflationary nightmare of Britain today, being charged for stuff that has no right not being free still hurts. You’ll resent every penny of these until your dying day.

Pound getting a semi at the possibility of U-turn

THE value of the pound has started to swell and grow at the prospect of a mini-budget U-turn, it has emerged.