Arts & Entertainment

Man has amazing ability to know all new music is shit without listening to it

A MAN instinctively knows that all music made since about 2002 is shit without even having to hear it, he has revealed.

Name one of our songs, Coldplay challenge audience

PLATINUM-SELLING band Coldplay challenged 40,000 fans attending a concert to name just one of their hit songs.

Hipster coffee shop worker fired for playing Lighthouse Family

A BARISTA at a fashionable urban cafe has been sacked for playing The Lighthouse Family.

Adults who read books for kids excited again

ADULTS who only read books for children are thrilled at the announcement of a new trilogy by His Dark Materials author Philip Pullman.

Shit films better than good ones

SHIT films are far more enjoyable than actual good films, it has been confirmed.

Lego confirms Fifty Shades of Grey sequel

LEGO will make the next film in the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise, it has been confirmed.

Stop telling me my favourite albums are 20 years old, says middle-aged man

A MIDDLE-AGED man has asked his favourite bands and music sites to shut the fuck up about all the albums he loved being 20 years old.

Sean Paul will feature on your songs, musicians warned

MUSICAL artists across the world have been notified that none of them are safe from an unplanned Sean Paul feature.