Arts & Entertainment

Man witnesses the death of music for, like, the ninth time

A 35 year-old man has declared that music is dead, for what he reckons is probably the ninth time.

Walking Dead Season 7 to show characters finding safe place that subsequently becomes unsafe

THE new season of The Walking Dead involves a moment of hope followed by yet another gruelling journey, it has been revealed.

Radiohead booked for Glastonbury’s ironic Sunday afternoon slot

RADIOHEAD have been booked in Glastonbury’s Sunday afternoon slot for heritage acts whose music young people enjoy ironically. 

Sunday night TV should be unrelentingly grim dramas set in hovels, says Ken Loach

KEN Loach has criticised the scheduling of costume dramas on Sunday evenings instead of plays about the debasement of the working classes.

Dylan thinks Nobel Prize letter is gas bill

BOB Dylan has not opened his letter from the Nobel Prize committee because he believes it is a gas bill.

Writing a novel a lot f**king harder than writing ‘Blowin’ in the Wind’, say novelists

ANGRY novelists have stressed that writing a novel is really difficult and writing some folks songs is not.

Music journalists fear rise of ‘new Oasis’

MUSIC historians have warned that conditions in the UK are ripe for the rise of a new Oasis.

Fourth plinth to display misogynist tweets

THE next installation on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square is to be a series of horribly misogynistic tweets.