Arts & Entertainment

Corbyn to perform Labour manifesto on 50-date stadium tour

JEREMY Corbyn is to play to packed stadia across the world, reading out bits of economic policy from the Labour manifesto.

Ascot declares war on Glastonbury

ROYAL Ascot has decided to finally settle its long-running rivalry with Glastonbury by marching to war.

Glastonbury coverage welcomed by Britain's top letches

OLD men who dislike pop music but enjoy lusting after young women have welcomed blanket coverage of Glastonbury.

Dads warn against getting them any DVD with Ben Affleck in it

FATHERS have warned family members not to buy them any film that involves Ben Affleck.

Latitude festival to introduce coffee testing

BOUTIQUE festival Latitude will allow attendees to test their coffee for purity and bean quality, it has confirmed.

They Live reclassified as a documentary 

THE John Carpenter film They Live is a documentary, it has been confirmed.

Watch The Handmaid's Tale and get back to us, DUP tells May

THE DUP has advised the prime minister to watch The Handmaid’s Tale as it pretty much explains where they are coming from.

Reading and Leeds line-up identical to Dad’s Driving Playlist line-up

THE acts performing at this year’s Reading Festival are the same acts in the same order that appear on Dad’s Driving Playlist, he has confirmed.