Arts & Entertainment

In the Summertime, and other massive songs written quicker than your toilet break

THESE tracks were famously shat out in mere minutes, less time than you frequently spend in the bog. So feel more inadequate than usual on the toilet today.

Truckers’ Tizer and an old jazz mag: Professor Alice Roberts on her archaeological dig at an A57 layby

HI, Professor Alice Roberts here. We’ve run out of old Norse settlements to explore, so we’ve moved on to laybys. Here’s what we discovered on the A57 west of Sheffield.

Dune, Breaking Bad, and other works that are basically racism against bald people

THE hair-deprived are often demonised in fiction just as they are in real life. Here are the works which unjustly paint the bald as irredeemable villains.

Geri Halliwell's Girl Power guide to your husband texting another woman

HI! Geri here! As the intellectual architect of Girl Power, my life philosophy has been guiding me through the challenging situation of my husband sending sleazy texts to a young colleague. Here’s how.

Horny women drag boyfriends to three-hour lore-heavy sci-fi sequel

LECHEROUS women have dragged their reluctant boyfriends and husbands to see an arse-numbing barely-comprehensible sci-fi epic with giant worms in.

Man who claims to love world cinema mainly likes kung fu and tits

A MAN who enjoys telling everyone that he has a passion for world cinema actually means he’s into gratuitous violence and nudity.