Arts & Entertainment

Referendum was marketing gimmick for Independence Day sequel

THE EU referendum was a marketing gimmick for a big-budget American science fiction film, it has emerged.

Glastonbury to be held in large gymnasium from now on

MUD-COVERED Glastonbury wretches have agreed it is best if the festival is held in a big sports hall from now on.

Spoiler-conscious Game of Thrones fans excited by some vague thing that happened

GAME of Thrones fans are running out of spoiler-free ways to describe a big thing that happened.

Jesus returns to save Top Gear

JESUS has returned to earth with a plan to save Top Gear even if it means dying in the process.

Your unbelievably bleak consumerist festival guide

YOUR shallow, self-absorbed and unhappy guide to attending a profit-led music festival.

Brexit music festival cancelled due to everything about it

A MUSIC festival to promote Brexit has been cancelled because it was an incredibly terrible idea on every level, the organisers have revealed.

Owls sick of being stereotyped as Harry Potter postal assistants

OWLS have demanded to be recognised as wild, majestic creatures rather than key workers in a fantasy post office.

Dory found dead behind fish tank

THE lead character of Pixar's Finding Dory dies after jumping out of a fish tank for no reason, it has emerged.