Arts & Entertainment

Five books to pretend to read while thinking about how clever you look holding a book

READING a book in a cafe, on the Tube or at the wheel of your car makes you look wise and mysterious, even if you’re just posing and not taking in a word.  

Beyonce and Jay-Z release album about when she left the bath running and it ruined the kitchen ceiling

BEYONCE and Jay-Z have released a joint album about that time she left the bath running and it overflowed through the kitchen ceiling. 

Man at front of gig screaming for song that band definitely going to play anyway

A MAN has stood at the very front of a concert shouting for the band’s biggest song even though they're fucking obviously going to play it at some point anyway.

Teenager trapped in dad band jam session

A TEENAGER who thought he was just going around to see his friend has ended up trapped in a dad band jam session that may never end.

Which minor, shitty Friends character are you?

LET’S face it, you’re not a main character even in your own life, and you certainly wouldn’t be in a seminal New York sitcom. But which crappy four-episode Friends walk-on are you?

Mum very disappointed with Hugh Grant for trying to kill that gay man

A MIDDLE-AGED mother believes Hugh Grant has let her down by actually being a politician involved in a botched attempt to murder his gay lover.

I paid fifty-five quid to see a film I've seen before, London man tells northern parents

A MAN who lives in London has admitted to his northern parents that he paid £55 for a 'cinema experience'.

Han and Chewie 'met on Grindr'

THE new Star Wars film has revealed that Han Solo and Chewbacca met on a gay dating app and were lovers for 20 years.