Arts & Entertainment

Bitter woman turns friend’s break-up into hateful best-seller

A WOMAN has turned eight years of incessant bitching about her friend's partner into a best-selling book.

Brit Awards to settle question of what music is good

TONIGHT'S Brit Awards will end all arguments about music by definitively establishing what is worth listening to.

Middle class person has not seen War Horse play

A MEMBER of the middle class has admitted not having seen the stage version of Warhorse.

Oscars ceremony includes moving tribute to shit films

LAST night's Academy Awards featured an emotional tribute to the dire cinematic fodder that keeps the industry going.

Britain arguing over who hated Blur first

THE UK is locked in argument about who was the first person to realise that Blur were the most loathsome band ever.

Movie franchises to continue until end of universe

SCI-FI film franchises will continue for thousands of years after every person currently living has passed away, Hollywood has confirmed.

Jon Snow doing crack for ‘this other TV thing’

NEWSREADER Jon Snow has told friends that he has become a crack addict for a documentary, despite not appearing to be followed by cameras.

But who was minding the caff? ask EastEnders viewers

EASTENDERS has revealed who killed Lucy Beale without answering the crucial question of who was looking after the cafe at the time.