Arts & Entertainment

Lord Sugar actually unemployed

THE winner of this year’s Apprentice will fill in Lord Sugar’s job applications while he watches daytime TV, the BBC has admitted.

Even UKIP supporters admit Mike Read has always been a dick

MIKE Read has been denounced by UKIP supporters old enough to remember Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

Man trapped in Waterstones has idea for a book

A MAN who was trapped in a Waterstones has had an idea for a novel.

Gamers pushing society’s buttons for cheat code

GAMERS are wildly pushing everyone’s buttons to unlock new powers to beat their critics, they have confirmed.

Bono to do a shit in your sock drawer

CONCEITED rocker Bono has announced plans for a free gift of a turd among your socks.

EastEnders to get a UKIP family

BBC SOAP EastEnders has introduced a new family who all support UKIP.

Pharrell 'obsessed with BBC'

PHARRELL has watched at least ten hours of BBC output a day since 1982, he has revealed.

Berry awards Bake-Off prize to herself

MARY Berry last night declared herself the winner of The Great British Bake-Off.