Arts & Entertainment
A 35 year-old man has declared that music is dead, for what he reckons is probably the ninth time.
THE new season of The Walking Dead involves a moment of hope followed by yet another gruelling journey, it has been revealed.
RADIOHEAD have been booked in Glastonbury’s Sunday afternoon slot for heritage acts whose music young people enjoy ironically.
KEN Loach has criticised the scheduling of costume dramas on Sunday evenings instead of plays about the debasement of the working classes.
BOB Dylan has not opened his letter from the Nobel Prize committee because he believes it is a gas bill.
ANGRY novelists have stressed that writing a novel is really difficult and writing some folks songs is not.
MUSIC historians have warned that conditions in the UK are ripe for the rise of a new Oasis.
THE next installation on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square is to be a series of horribly misogynistic tweets.
- Humanity refusing to accept Nevermind came out 25 years ago
- Man thinks Groove Armada song about sand dunes and shit is a classic
- F**k this shit I’m outta here, says Mary Berry
- Eastenders to show Ian Beale discovering old episodes of Eastenders on UK Gold
- It’s a shame for the kids, says everyone lapping up the juicy details