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Arts & Entertainment

How to get that middle-aged, two-pints-from-violence Oasis fan look: A guide for the young

SEEING Oasis live this weekend? Get the appropriate ‘pissed-up gobshite who’s mad for a fight’ look with this straightforward guide.

Sadly you already have a creative outlet, Ed Sheeran told

Walking doesn't cure terminal illness: The Salt Path fact-checked

INSPIRATIONAL memoir The Salt Path has been exposed as the conspicuous bullshit it was all along. These are the questions every middle-class reading group didn’t ask.

Woman not reading fairy porn for the world-building

A WOMAN on her third volume of fantasy-themed pornography would like to inform its author she is not here for the rich fairy world-building.

She's a waterfall, and other metaphors for women employed by singers trying to get laid

WHAT is she? Definitely not a groupie, no, she’s some form of flattering abstract noun and you’re prepared to elaborate if she takes her top off. These comparisons led to sex...

Oasis reunion marred by fratricide

OASIS’S first reunion gig has been praised by fans as the greatest concert they have ever attended, spoiled only by a minor fratricide late on.

We ask you: are you ready to see Ozzy Osbourne bite the head off a live bat one last time?

FAMED oral decapitator of chiroptera Ozzy Osbourne performs for the final time in Birmingham today. What are you hoping he will do?

'Play one off your two good albums!': Helpful things to shout at tonight's Oasis gig

ATTENDING an Oasis reunion gig? So stupefied by the magnitude of the occasion that you don’t know what to shout? Try these.

Kneecap to sue bastards who nicked their thing

KNEECAP have announced they are taking legal action against punk band Bob Vylan for stealing anti-Israel publicity that was rightfully theirs.

Glastonbury is a blueprint for a better society without my parents. By Tom Logan

MY first time at Glastonbury has opened my eyes. I believe it offers a blueprint for a society that is more equal, free of prejudice, and your parents aren’t hassling you all the time.