Arts & Entertainment

A MUM has admitted she would like The Traitors more if everyone was honest and got along.

THE music industry is known for making people who are already dickheads worse. But these artists were so egotistical or strange it’s a wonder they managed to make any music together.

IDLY listening to music when you realise the gasps and moans enacted by clothed women in recording studios are more believable than last night’s performance? She should study these.

A MAN in his mid-40s is enjoying a gig by dancing with his arms firmly crossed, it has emerged.

TRAITORS fans, chasing a buzz in Dry January, have convinced themselves all this year’s cast are secretly connected. These perfectly sensible theories explain how.

NOEL Gallagher has confirmed he will draw on the similarities between James Bond and their own fans in new Bond theme ‘Fighting While Pissed’.

JANUARY? Depressed? These self-pitying acts unable to see past their own dejected noses will provide the perfect soundtrack for your gloom.

A MAN who is home alone watching Jools Holland’s Hootenanny on New Year’s Eve has begun masturbating as a challenge to himself to sink even lower.

A BOY who had his heart set on getting dry markers and ugly paints for Christmas is amazed to find them under the Christmas tree.