Arts & Entertainment

A MAN still mentally classifies music from nearly a decade ago as new, fresh and unfair to expect him to have an opinion on.

NOT content with multi-million paychecks, duplicitous stars love nothing more than to con their audiences by fooling them into watching serious cinema. We name and shame.

A 59-YEAR-OLD metal fan has decided that since there is such a fuss about it, he will give Taylor Swift’s new one a spin.

CLOSETED superstar Taylor Swift is double-bluffing again with an album of songs ostensibly about macho man Travis Kelce. But the lyrics reveal what we’ve known for years – that she’s a lesbian.

EVERY year, there’s one. Sneaking onto Strictly, the joy of the autumn, ruining my Saturday nights with my Echo Falls and my post-divorce unshared share bag of Maltesers.

A NEW film of Wuthering Heights starring Margot Robbie is essentially a 1990s straight-to-video erotic thriller set in Yorkshire, but not every book is a cinematic bonkbuster ready to happen.

IF you don't 'get' an artist, it's not because they're too clever for you but because, like these guys, they're purveyors of pseudo-intellectual bollocks.

OH, you don’t like the right albums? Then a calm, intellectually grounded explanation of why you should will surely change your benighted mind.

ARE you not connected to Strictly Come Dancing in any way but need to find an excuse for your infidelity? Pin it on the popular BBC series with this guide.

YOU will never be of the calibre of a Disney Princess, but you could be the comparatively ugly friend who gets approached because you’re less intimidating. But whose friend?