Celebrity

Woman marries Ant and Dec

A WOMAN unknowingly married Ant and Dec in a polygamous wedding ceremony in Newcastle.

Kate’s scuba certificate part of elaborate escape plan

THE Duchess of Cambridge is planning a daring escape from the Royal Family involving a faked shark attack and a mini submarine.

Clarkson forced to deliver books and DVDs

JEREMY Clarkson’s new Amazon contract includes an obligation to deliver 300 parcels a month.

Resolution of Minaj-Swift crisis beamed to Keplar 452b

EARTH-like planet Keplar 452b is being urgently beamed news that the feud between Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift has been settled.

Asking Kay Burley what’s wrong with her is ‘Pandora’s Box on steroids’

THE MP who asked Kay Burley ‘what’s wrong with you’ has done a very bad thing, experts have warned.

Prince George celebrates second birthday at local soft play centre

BRITAIN'S future king has celebrated turning two with a party at a soft play centre in Fring.

Bill Turnbull revealed as Tory mole

BBC Breakfast host Bill Turnbull is a right-wing agent provocateur sent to discredit the corporation, it has emerged.

Just keep having babies, Britain tells Royals

THE Royal family can be as fascist as it wants, as long as it keeps producing lovely babies, it has been agreed.