Nigella exhibiting signs of demonic possession

TV COOK Nigella Lawson is possessed by a demon, it has emerged.

Thatcher's clothes to be sold off to millionaire men who will wear them

BARONESS Thatcher's iconic outfits are to be auctioned off to old, rich men who will put them on in front of full-length mirrors.

Corbyn lacks my likeability, says Amis

NOVELIST Martin Amis has claimed that Jeremy Corbyn just isn’t likeable in the way that he is.

Beyonce 'older than current universe'

BEYONCE is more than 14 billion years old and survived the heat-death and collapse of a previous universe, it has emerged.

Jamie Oliver ‘heartbroken’ after thieves steal most of his herbs

JAMIE Oliver has appealed for the safe return of his favourite herbs after a break-in at his North London home.

Daniel Craig cannot find anything better than Bond at local Jobcentre Plus

ACTOR Daniel Craig has discovered that playing James Bond is better than almost every other job.

Kate Middleton grows fringe to hide Dead Kennedys tattoo

THE Duchess of Cambridge has grown out her hair to hide the Dead Kennedys tattoo on her right temple.

Queen records Jeremy Corbyn diss track

THE Queen is escalating her beef with Jeremy Corbyn by recording a blistering diss track, the palace has confirmed.