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Celebrity

Lulu's affair with David Bowie, and six other unlikely liaisons

EUROVISION winner Lulu has admitted to an affair with the chameleon of pop, David Bowie. These get-togethers were equally far-fetched.

Dani Dyer shoots herself in foot to get out of Strictly

Fergie surprised to learn she was patron of seven charities

Aimee Lou Wood's teeth: Relationship deal-breakers fat men in pubs discuss in all seriousness

OVERWEIGHT, wheezing men in pubs expect only the highest standards of beauty from celebrity women. Regretfully, they have noted the following flaws.

Epstein book to be this year's Christmas bestseller

A 50TH birthday book created for Jeffrey Epstein of messages from the great and good to their favourite millionaire pimp will make an ideal gift this Christmas.

Do a livestream with Tommy Robinson: how Harry can get the Daily Mail back on his side

PRINCE Harry is in the UK and presumably desperate to make up with the Daily Mail, his truest friend. Here’s what he needs to do to win it back.

'Of course I'd leave you for Susanna Reid, I'm not f**king stupid', says husband

A HUSBAND has explained to his wife that he would, without doubt, leave her for Susanna Reid at the first available opportunity.

We ask you: how will you mourn the loss of fashion titan Giorgio Armani this weekend?

LEGENDARY fashion designer Giorgio Armani has died tastefully aged 91. How will you salute him?

Ellie Goulding, and other celebs right-wingers hate for having ordinary, boring opinions

ELLIE Goulding has said the asylum protests made her ‘embarrassed to be British’. And as usual right-wingers are furious a celeb has dared have an unremarkable opinion. Take these...

How to get completely over your lifelong thing for pale sensitive English boys by marrying a f**king bear

GOT a type? But sick of being let down by sensitive, poetic English or English-adjacent boys unworthy of your love? Here’s how to drop all that and marry a big-ass bear.