Environment

Loch Ness Monster sighting was just branch wearing Tam o’ Shanter

EXPERTS have dismissed recent sightings of the Loch Ness Monster as nothing more than floating wood wearing a tartan bonnet.

Seal open to relationship outside his species

A SEAL has confirmed that he would be open to dating other types of animal if the chemistry was right.

Trees sinister again

TREES have reverted to being malevolent skeletal shadows looming in your peripheral vision.

Poppies distance themselves from Daily Mail

POPPIES have rejected any association with the paranoid, hate-fuelled agenda of The Daily Mail.

Best way to get pesticides banned is to claim they're legal highs

ENVIRONMENTAL campaigners are claiming to get a massive buzz off harmful pesticides in order to get them banned.

Trapped fly struggling to keep a cool head

FLY Rob Hobbs is struggling to think logically after becoming trapped in a house.

Tree of the Year dogged by nepotism

THE Tree of the Year competition is dominated by trees with wealthy and well-connected parents, critics have claimed.

Pets demand constant unlimited supply of food

PETS of all species have demanded that unlimited amounts of food are made available to them at all times.