Environment

Starfish washes up on beach and gets carried around in dog’s mouth

A DEAD starfish has washed up on a Norfolk beach, where it is being carried around by a dog.

Cameron reluctantly pulls on wellies and prepares to wank out some fake sympathy

THE prime minister has grudgingly agreed to visit flood victims for one final time, it has emerged.

Wales not sure how it could be more prepared for rain

RESIDENTS of Wales are not particularly alarmed at the prospect of heavy rain, it has emerged.

Snowfall in unimportant 70 per cent of country may hit London, forecasters warn

THE SNOW which has covered Scotland, Wales, the North and the Midlands could affect parts of Britain that matter, forecasters have warned.

Coldness confirmed during neighbour climate summit

NEIGHBOURS have confirmed the recent drop in temperature during a top level over-the-fence meeting.

Bronze Age village was furious about Iron Age migrants

THE residents of a Bronze Age village were bitterly opposed to Iron Age migrants from Europe, archaeologists have found.

Britain demands hibernation scheme

BRITAIN has demanded the right to sleep through the winter like a hedgehog.

Cat confident owners are going to love this bird

A CAT is certain that its owners will appreciate having a mauled bird brought into their house.