International

Petition to stop demolition of Glasgow hits 30

A PETITION to stop Glasgow being razed to the ground has reached 30 signatures and is hoping to hit 50 by the weekend.

Turin Shroud back on display with added Nike swoosh

THE Turin Shroud has been updated to reflect that Jesus would have worn mid-priced sportswear if he were alive today.

Hillary Clinton to use You Oughta Know as campaign song

US PRESIDENTIAL candidate Hilary Clinton is to use nineties Alanis Morrisette song You Oughta Know as her campaign anthem.

EU taxpayers okay with not letting people drown

FINDING some room for migrants is preferable to letting them drown, EU taxpayers have stressed.

Welsh tourist board clearly using pictures of other places

THE Welsh tourist agency has been promoting the country with images of tropical beaches and the Taj Mahal.

Souls of the damned sent to Magaluf

A SHORTAGE of places in Hell means that the damned will be made to party in Magaluf for all eternity.

Germany and Greece told to 'get a war'

GERMANY and Greece have been told to stop flirting and get on with the war they both desperately desire.

England toasts all the great things it did for Ireland

ENGLAND is pouring a pint of Guinness in celebration of all the ways it has helped Ireland over the years.