International

Trump understanding as much of G7 summit as a dog would

DONALD Trump is sitting uncomprehending through the G7 summit looking up eagerly whenever he hears his own name, aides have confirmed.

Vatican 'like a two-star motel', Trump tells Pope

DONALD Trump has dismissed the the Vatican as 'low rent' and told the Pope to spend some money on it.

Trump converts to Islam

DONALD Trump has confirmed that he is a now a Muslim.

Assange to return favour by influencing Swedish election

JULIAN Assange has promised to thank Sweden for dropping charges against him by boosting far-right parties at their next election.

Trump revealed nuclear code is UR-FIRED

PRESIDENT Trump has revealed that the launch code to America's nuclear arsenal is also his television catchphrase.

This Russia thing completely separate from other Russia thing, says White House

THE White House has clarified that the new scandal about Russia is completely unconnected with its previous, different, Russian scandal.

Trump convinced this is actually clever

DONALD Trump believes that firing the man investigating his collusion with Russia is a really clever solution to the whole problem, he has confirmed.

Huge relief after only 11 million people vote for a fascist

THERE was huge relief today after just 11 million people in Europe’s second biggest country voted for a neo-Nazi crackpot.