International

Trump promises to visit Macron in 'whatever shithole country he comes from'

DONALD Trump has promised to visit Emmanuel Macron in 'whatever the hell shithole of a country he comes from', the White House has confirmed.

It's not the first time Trump has used 'mission accomplished' wrongly, confirm various women

DONALD Trump has been wrongly declaring 'mission accomplished' for decades, according to various women.

'Fourth time lucky!' says West

THE law of averages means attacking Syria will be a resounding success unlike Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya, Western leaders believe.  

Trump expels 60 Russian porn stars

DONALD Trump has expelled 60 top Russian adult movie stars from the US in response to the Stormy Daniels TV interview.

Blue passports to reek of garlic

BRITAIN’S post-Brexit blue passports are to be impregnated with the stench of garlic and snails by their French manufacturers, it has emerged.

David Davis reckons he might do Israel-Palestine next

DAVID Davis is so impressed with his own negotiating skills that he is considering a peace settlement between Israel and Palestine next.

May announces tough sanctions on Jeremy Corbyn

THE prime minister has announced strict new sanctions against Jeremy Corbyn.

Trump jumped his skateboard over a car ‘but only his cousin saw it’

DONALD Trump jumped his skateboard over a car but only his cousin saw it 'and you don't know him’ he has confirmed.