International

People who knew nothing about Ferguson riots able to work out exactly why they happened

A GROUP of people kept in isolation for the last six months has guessed exactly why there are riots in the US town of Ferguson.

Russian webcam hackers fascinated by dreariness of UK lives

THE Russian hackers who broke into 500 UK webcams are transfixed by the sheer lack of event in British lives.

Scotland getting pretty fed up with reality checks

SCOTLAND has had quite enough of inconvenient reality, it has been confirmed.

Putin giggles coquettishly at Hitler comparison

VLADIMIR Putin giggled flirtatiously and batted his eyelashes when compared to Hitler, according to onlookers.

EU threatens to install prepayment meter

The EU had told Britain that it will install a pre-payment meter for all European services if our £1.7 billion bill is not paid in full.

Obama to spend next two years doing socialist rituals in Kenya

BARACK Obama is to devote the pointless remainder of his presidency to being deliberately antagonistic.

Scots wondering how England rigged whisky contest

SCOTLAND has blamed England for being bad at the one thing it is supposed to be good at it.

I’m making it up as I go along, says Pope

POPE Francis has admitted he is improvising, all the time.