International

Disappointed racist can’t get anyone kicked off flight

A DISAPPOINTED British racist cannot find anyone bearded enough to get them thrown off his flight to Majorca.

‘You, too, can destroy your own country,’ Farage tells US

NIGEL Farage has told an audience of Trump supporters that the power to completely devastate the nation they live in is in their hands.

Brexit to be huge success 'because Britain is good at the pommel horse'

BRITAIN’S dominance of international pommel horsing is confirmation that Brexit will be a huge success.

CIA still laughing at Zuckerberg for thinking he came up with Facebook

CIA AGENTS are still chuckling to themselves about how Mark Zuckerberg actually thinks he created Facebook.

Rio Olympics opening ceremony to be not as good

TONIGHT’S 2016 Olympic Games opening ceremony in Rio is widely expected not to be as good as the British one all about us.

Welsh lottery winners splash out on Wales

A WELSH family who scooped a massive lottery win decided to buy their country of birth, they have revealed.

Trump gives three-hour talk about UFOs

AFTER claiming the US election is rigged, Donald Trump has given a lengthy slideshow presentation about UFOs and lizard aliens.

‘Hillary should’ve smiled more,’ says voter choosing between her or a deranged murder clown

HILLARY Clinton should have smiled more during her speech, according to a man who may now vote for a demented orange clown instead.