International

Trump finding increasingly stupid ways to tell people how clever he is

DONALD Trump is continuing to stress how intelligent he is, while finding increasingly inarticulate ways of doing of so.

SNP fury as new Scottish £5 note fails to support independence

SCOTTISH Nationalists have reacted with fury to a new bank note design that does not demand independence.

Obama asks who Boris Johnson is then laughs when told

PRESIDENT Barack Obama has enjoyed learning about Boris Johnson.

Man voting to stay in EU because he thinks he’s sophisticated

A MAN is convinced that Britain should stay in Europe because he imagines it gives him continental flair.

2016 to end early

2016 is to be brought to an early end before anybody else dies.

America warns that if UK quits Europe it will probably invade

THE US will probably invade Britain if it leaves the EU, according to senior White House sources.

It was 'Adam and Steve' all along, confirms Pope

CLOSE examination of the Bible has revealed  it was 'Adam and Steve' in the Garden of Eden the whole time.

Give back everything you bought with foreign aid, say tight bastards

COUNTRIES must give back anything they bought with foreign aid from the UK, mean-spirited Britons have demanded.