THE Pope has officially proclaimed that God did not intend anyone to eat savoury pancakes.
DAVID Cameron has negotiated a deal allowing Britain to keep any leftover sandwiches from EU meetings, he has announced.
DONALD Trump has lost in the Iowa primary to Ted Cruz, a man who does not just say vile things about immigrants but sincerely believes them.
THE SAS has mounted a daring helicopter raid to rescue a British couple stranded in a horrifically modern French town.
CARTOON racing driver Dick Dastardly has overtaken Donald Trump in polls for the Republican presidential nomination.
DONALD Trump has praised the stunning beauty of a snowy, all-white New York.
BRITISH holidaymaker Stephen Malley is convinced that he is being charged a special ‘tourist price' by foreign shops.
MIGRANTS to Europe have ruined what was a perfectly-functioning near paradise, they have been told.