DONALD Trump is on trial for financial malfeasance in New York. Could you serve as a juror, or have you unaccountably developed opinions about him?
Joanna Kramer, librarian: “I got through four years of his presidency without feeling one way or the other. But I am on a daily pharmacological cocktail of mood-stabilising drugs keeping me insensate.”
Jim Bates, gamekeeper: “Politically I’m impartial, but I played his golf course at Turnberry and I couldn’t do the last hole where you have to hit the ball in his mouth and it spirals around his wig and comes out the back.”
Lucy Parry, heating engineer: “I imagine most New Yorkers are entirely neutral on a divisive former president who attempted to overthrow democracy, or are more than willing to lie.”
Carolyn Ryan, former geologist: “I wish we had a jury system that guarantees only stupid, ignorant bastards, then I might not be doing life for murder.”
Steve Malley, trawlerman: “Trump? Is he the one who’s like an American Alan Sugar?”
